Shelley Lubben’s “Lived Experience” as a Sex Worker and Porn-Actor
November 24, 2009
here is a video of ex-porn actor and anti-pornography crusader shelley lubben, sitting in the lobby of the los angeles hotel in which she had turned her first trick (and unintentionally conceived her first child) as a teenaged prostitute.
part 2 is below.
i post these here because, for one thing, i wanted to point out to all the sex-pozzies who frequent my blog that not all sex-workers’ “lived experience” jives with a liberal/libertarian sex-positive agenda, although they really like to pretend otherwise.
but my main point is in regards to personal testimonies, and the fact that many liberal and so-called “fun-fems,” including transpersons and transactivists give tons of credence to sex-workers’ and others’ personal experience, (you know, when this self-reported “lived experience” supports their agenda) and value personal narratives over feminist theory. they also claim that personal narratives of sex workers and transpersons are inherently feminist, and should be deferred to by feminists in lieu of a critical analysis or examining lived experienced in context.
but feminists who favor theory over experience, or who dissect and examine lived experience in context of feminist theory are the only ones who are being honest, here, arent they?
for example, shelley lubben is an outspoken, anti-pornography and anti-prostitution crusader, who reveals the horrors she experienced while working in the industry for many years. in a series of video testimonies, she reports that she became impregnated during her first experience with prostitution, and contracted genital herpes on the porn set, among other things.
to a radical feminist like myself, shelley lubben’s story appears to be consistent with my own anti-porn, anti-prostitution stance. and i was moved greatly by her words, and by her experience of an industry that i fully agree is harmful to women, and anti-feminist. i have watched these videos over and over, and have been moved to tears, and to write. were i a fun-fem, my analysis would stop there: shelley lubben is a feminist, and her testimony is unproblematic! except that in many ways, thats not the case. not at all.
The Fallacy of Cis-Privilege
November 16, 2009
for those who dont know, cis- (meaning “on the same side as”) has been used by transactivists to describe people who “arent trans.” according to them, people who arent trans possess special powers, called “privileges,” parallel to the unearned privileges possessed by whites and men, who socially, politically and relationally oppress women, and people of color.
but when transfolk and transactivists use “privilege” in this context, i do not think it means what they think it means. specifically, their concept of “privilege” does not match up with my definition, or with any accepted definition of the word.
when a transwoman laments to a born woman, for example:
I wish I could understand where you are coming from, but I don’t think I ever will. I never had the privilege of growing up as a girl, with people automatically calling me she, her, girl, woman, etc. without having to think about it. I never had the privilege of being 5 years old and not having your mother beat the living shit out of you because you were trying on her makeup. I say this will [sic] all respect that is due to you: from where I sit, you are the one with the privilege.
what she has revealed is that her idea of anyones particular social or political privilege is “i have something you want.” in the case of born-men thinking that girls and women had it easy or preferable in that they grew up being recognized as female, it would be more accurate to say their idea of privilege is further diluted to mean “i have something you *think* you want” because theres no way a born-male could really know if he wanted to grow up like a girl, because as a boy/man, he doesnt, and indeed *couldnt* know what it was like.
to take a little tangent here, but to illustrate and underscore that point, i was assaulted by 4 neighborhood boys when i was 5, because i was a girl, and they wanted to look into my underpants. so, they trapped me in a camping tent that was set up in the backyard and wouldnt let me leave, and they said i could either give each one of them a kiss, or they were going to look inside my underwear. does this sound like fun to you, transwomen? frankly i would take a beating from my mother on any day of the week, rather than ever be trapped inside a closed space by a bunch of sexually predatory boys who gave me such a disgusting “choice.” i kissed them all and they let me leave. luckily.
but heres the problem with “i have something you want” = “i have privilege”. if i had a candy bar, and you wanted it, i would not have “candy-bar privilege”. if i had a nice dog and you wanted a nice dog like mine, i would not have “dog privilege.” you cant just say that any old goddamn thing i have that you want is a privilege. privilege means that there is *power* there, and girls and women dont possess any kind of gender-based power. exactly the opposite.
sex-pos transwomen–if i were born male, like you were, i might be “sex-positive,” too. you know: exhibitionist, pro-porn, and squeeee!-fully sexually available to men. if only….
i had been lavished with male privilege since the day i was born, and taught that the only thing that mattered was my wants, my feelings, that i was entitled to turn my desires into reality, no matter how trite, fleeting, or bizarre. if i grew up with an entirely misogynist view of women, instead of one interspersed with actual, lived, female experience. like you, believing that girls and women were emotional manipulators, that just have to cry big, black tears to get “their way“–and merely the sum of their fleshly and artificial parts–as observable by men. the clothes, the eyelashes, and always, always how fuckable they are. if i had no cramps, and no fear of pregnancy. you know, all the things you obviously think constitutes “woman” as well as the things that you dont think about, at all, which make your interpretation of “female” so deeply problematic. if i had been taught to stick my dick into anything that moved from day one, and to enjoy it.
if i had to have regular intercourse with men, on advice from my sex-reassignment surgeon, literally on pain of death: lest i lose my “use-it-or-lose-it” neo-vagina or experience life-threatening complications from (gasp) not being fuckable enough! (oh, thats rich. and how “pleasing” to men generally must one be, to ensure oneself of regular access to their sex?)
in other words, if i had grown up a man, like you, i might be as inclined as you are, to tell women that they should be having sex with men. if i literally had to have regular intercourse with men or DIE, that would color my perspective, as well. but guess what? i wasnt, and i dont.
Golden Girls House Party…Thank You For Being a Friend!
November 1, 2009
i love the golden girls! and so does the new york jets’ running back thomas jones. this made me laugh and laugh:
Some Jets like to spend their free time tweeting on their Twitter pages or playing video games on their PS3s. Thomas Jones, the AFC’s leading rusher in 2008, unwinds by watching “The Golden Girls.” Sure, he also watches other old-school shows such as “The Cosby Show” and “Saved by the Bell,” but there’s just something about Bea Arthur.
“My favorite thing to do to relax is watch ‘The Golden Girls’ marathon,” Jones admitted yesterday during a rare interview at SUNY Cortland. “It kind of puts me in the mind-set of how things kind of used to be. When I see that show, it reminds me of those times when you could go outside and have fun and ride your bike all day. Now, you can’t even go outside anymore, you got people doing all kinds of crazy stuff and people getting killed. It’s like a crazy world.”
co-signed, thomas jones!
above is the final scene of the series. this episode just played here the other night, but i didnt realize at the time that i was watching the series finale! i might have welled up a little, had i known. another thing i didnt realize was this: there was a spinoff series called “the golden palace” that apparently lasted just one season. does anyone remember this? heres the opening of the first episode, which picks up where the series finale of TGG left off:
Sorry, Men and Fun-Fems: All Porn Is Rape, All the Time (Or, If You Are Watching Porn, You Are Watching Rape)
October 27, 2009
i have been on the fence for years about whether porn is inherently harmful, or anti-feminist. the source of my ambivalence, and how i talked myself down from that particular fence are as important to discuss, it seems to me, as is the anti-porn position to which i ultimately committed.
for years, i felt ambivalent about porn. it didnt really do anything for me, but i was never inclined to agree with either the old-school radfems or misogynist religious proselytizers putting limitations what i should and shouldnt watch, or enjoy. i think my problem was a common problem for young women and young feminists: i was letting men and the male-identified fun-fems define feminism for me, and i was too young and uneducated to really analyze what i was seeing. not unimportantly, i was afraid of a radical feminist analysis, and what that would mean for me, should i decide i was anti-porn, as a young female, a sister and daughter (of white men), as a heterosexual, and most recently, as a professional in a male-dominated field. instinctively and intellectually i knew that coming down on the side of anti-porn would cause a problem for me. i am not a fucking idiot, afterall. most feminists arent.
i was also screwing up my analysis, in that i was giving too much credence to my own “feelings” about what i saw, and knew, about porn, and consumers of porn, having watched it myself, and dated men who ran the gamut between being literally and problematically “addicted” and “meh” when it came to using and possessing the stuff. i wrongly believed that my ambivalent feelings were somehow neutral, and unaffected by the culture i lived in–a culture that fully embraces not just porn but rape, too. i think that too is a common problem for feminists: an objective analysis that comes down on the side of anti-porn is at odds with how some of us feel, subjectively, about watching it. in other words, watching other people fuck doesnt necessarily bother me. i just didnt get that visceral “yuck” feeling like so many feminist women and religious zealots alike claim to get when watching, talking about, or analyzing porn. and i wrongly assumed that having done some rudimentary analysis and come to a conclusion, that i had done my due diligence, and that i was done.
but for all thinking people, and all feminists, its the objective analysis, not our subjective feelings that takes us into the weeds. considering that a misogynist rape-culture is the backdrop against which we all live, and against which we conduct all of our daily transactions, we would be right more often that not, if we embraced this credo: our subjective selves are not “us”. we literally cannot trust our own feelings on this issue, although our feelings are not completely irrelevant. pro-porn or even ambivalent sentiments are part of living in a rape- and porn-culture, but thats not terminal to a feminist analysis of porn. at the same time we live in a porn- and rape-culture, we also live in a puritanical and slut-shaming one. we need to know, objectively, what is informing our opinions, no matter on which side we ultimately land.
what i came up with is this. you dont have to be skeeved out by porn, to be an anti-pornography feminist. you can be anti-porn FIRST. in my experience, the ick-factor followed closely behind, once i realized what i was looking at, and talking and thinking about, when i was looking at or analyzing porn. for reasons i will more fully explain below, it was my objective analysis of the concept of consent that lead me to the conclusion that porn is rape. to be clear: i did not use an objective analysis to explain, explore, or justify my preexisting, subjective revulsion to porn. this is an important point, particularly against the anti-feminist barrage that women and feminists encounter daily, by men who are only too eager to dismiss women and feminists for being overly-emotional about every subject that affects us (as if responding emotionally to emotionally-charged subject matter is ever inappropriate). despite my ambivalence, i performed an objective analysis of porn from the perspective of consent versus non-consent, and i came to believe that its objectively, inherently harmful, and anti-feminist. that is, when i realized, objectively, that what i was looking at was rape, i began to feel revolted. so, while i could have done this sooner, even before the revulsion kicked in, its time, now, to get down off the fence, and get real. the answer to the question, i believe, is YES. porn is both inherently harmful, and anti-feminist. furthermore, i believe that all porn is rape, all the time. heres why.
New Miracle Whip Commercials…WTF?
October 20, 2009
this has got to be the stupidest idea for an ad campaign i have ever, i mean EVER seen. it has all the elements: tries too hard; generic “youthful energy” theme; and incongruence between the message and the product. it leaves me feeling confused, and irritated. is that the intended effect?
for one thing, miracle whip sucks. lets just get that very obvious fact out there, in the beginning. and…young people dont eat mayonnaise-y deli salads when they get together. ok? they just dont. it makes me wonder how old the advertising crew was, to even come up with an idea this…stupid. its just stupid! the idiocy of it, including the inappropriate special-effects and the trying-too-hard just smacks of inexperience to me…and yet anyone who was within 20 years of their bygone-youth would know that their premise here was seriously flawed. so were they too old, or too young to pull this off? how did this happen?
i am not the only one asking these questions. see stephen colbert’s pro-mayo parody here, complete with hipster mayo-eaters doing bong hits out of old mayo jars…and here is youjustmademylist.com proposing their own much-improved script (this one gets my vote, even over colbert…sorry stephen):
Fuck you world, I love Miracle Whip and if you don’t like it you can eat my creamy, white shit. Don’t try and tell ME and MY generation what condiments we should eat. Take your old man sandwich spread and shove it up your old man ass because guess what motherfucker, I’m going to eat Miracle Whip with a spoon while getting a mohawk. Look dude, I don’t care if I spill a little M-Whip on my Ron Paul poster, because that’s the way it goes man when you are fucking vibing on a jar of the Whip! Now if you will excuse me, I have to comb my ironic mustache and down a little Whip before going to my bike messenger job. Jealous?
why yes, yes i am jealous…of that author’s creativity and inspired development of my new favorite miracle-whip themed catchphrase: “eat my creamy, white shit.” brilliant!
It’s Concern-Troll Bingo!
October 17, 2009
BINGO! BINGO OVER HERE!
i love, love, love these troll-bingo cards. i found this one at “A Second Thought.”
take your bingo marker and a few lucky charms with you next time you visit a thread about abortion, child support, or rape, because thats where the concern-trolls reside. check off the milquetoast, banal and cliche ”concern” sentiments as they are rattled off, and win validation of your suspicions that there are many, many rape apologists concern trolls out there, masquerading as human beings, and “liberals.” ugh.
my favorites are the variations on ”you make feminists/feminism look bad.” oh, ok! if that were the truth, and i were really damaging the movement with my words and actions, wouldnt anti-feminists and misogynists support me, and try to get me to say more? instead of attempting to intimidate and silence? its a headscratcher i know.
Gillian Anderson Interviewed on Jimmy Kimmel Live
October 10, 2009
this is a two-part interview from 2008 with actor gillian anderson, x-files’ agent scully…as if you didnt know. i have to say, this woman is either a fantastic flirt, or just a terrific actor (or both?)
notice the way she effortlessly interacts with one of tv’s biggest goof-offs, and seems completely approachable…all the while being hugely, gorgeously pregnant. i love, love love her laugh. until i heard it here, i dont think i had ever heard her laugh before. i guess agent scully wasnt exactly a cut-up…but agent mulder wasnt a laugh-a-minute either was he?
any comments about the x-files, scully, and any feminist themes of her character or the show are welcome. or…anything else you want to say! i could google the “feminist themes of the x-files” and list some other bloggers opinions here, but i would rather know what you think. personally, i always noticed how the story-lines revolved around mulder’s life and his work…once and awhile they did a story around scully’s personal life, and it was striking. thats how i knew they didnt really do them a whole lot (sometimes you just dont notice these things until they are made painfully obvious?) remember the one where she gets a tattoo? (she ends up regretting it, and almost dying). or the one where she runs into an ex-lover in the hospital…and his daughter is still pissed at scully for the affair?
New “Old Navy” Commercials Offend…Just About Everyone
October 5, 2009
this is the “true hollywood” -style background story to the newest old navy ad campaign known as “the supermodelquins.”
the most recent installment in this campaign playing in my neck of the woods features a “model” hawking sweater-coats who gets separated from her legs at the airport. HER LEGS. WTF? seriously, watch the whole series if you have the time. these commercials offend nearly every vulnerable population there is. starving actors, the unemployed, women, POC, and the disabled are the ones i noticed first, although perhaps not in that order. more videos are embedded below.
- the human element…where did the real people go?
first, as the economy continues to suffer and more and more jobs are lost, it bothers me that yet another franchise has taken to using non-actors to fill roles in their money-making schemes, also known as television shows, and commercials. while this may be at the very bottom of anyones particular list, the failing economy has rocked my own corner of the universe. for reals. and while i am not an actor, i can certainly empathize with professional actors that have been hip-chucked out of their industry and left unable to earn a wage, and had their medical benefits lapse, due to long-term unemployment. (the screen actors guild (SAG) has been quantifying the harm that reality-television has caused working actors since at least 2005.)
this newest old navy campaign has made living, breathing human beings obsolete, (at least in front of the camera) and i think most everyone would agree that particularly in these times, that decision was unethical. not to mention hypocritical, where old navy is relying on the disposable incomes of its customers to make its own living, but they arent giving anything back. in fact, where reality franchises have replaced union workers with non-union ones, saving themselves the money and hassle (also known as ethics and regulatory oversight) of having to deal with SAG, old navy’s decision to forgo the human element altogether seems particularly self-serving, and cruel.
Nike Commercial Makes Black Athlete Look Like…an Animal? An Alien? What?
September 24, 2009
this adrian peterson nike commercial has been playing for the last few weeks…and its so horrible, i literally have to turn my head whenever it comes on. WTF? a black man cant be a great athlete without likening him to…an animal? an alien? something inhuman, and some manner of scaly-skinned freak?
heres what nike had to say about their new “nike pro-combat” campaign:
Peterson’s dynamic talents and powerful on-field persona are portrayed in “Alter Ego”, but it’s the image of last season’s NFL’s rushing leader sitting on front of his locker at game’s end that provide the title for the ad. A 3-D overlay treatment of the distinctive Nike Pro Combat deflex pattern on Peterson’s skin is symbolic of an implied transformational experience for athletes who wear the product, and creates a visually compelling closing to the ad.
m-kay. he isnt supposed to look like an animal, his “embossed” skin is supposed to resemble the texture of their new protective gear. are we really supposed to believe nike’s claims here: that they intend to convey to the consumer that pro-athlete adrian peterson has transformed into a shoe? literally not. buying. it.
Buffy the Animated Series…That Never Was
September 22, 2009
i love buffy the vampire slayer. i have seasons 1-3 on my i-pod, and am waiting impatiently for the rest of them to be released. they keep me company on my commute, along with my other bffs mulder and scully.
this animated series would have been a great addition to my collection…it wouldve been nice to have SMG add her voice to the mix, but whatever. its good to hear their voices again, isnt it? heres an interview with jane espenson and eric wight, members of the creative team that was working on the animated show. its a good read.
any comments about the feminist messages in buffy are welcome. i could google it and list some of them here, but i would rather see what you all think. personally, i always had a problem with SMG’s obvious dieting: no matter how physically strong buffy was supposed to be, i couldnt help but notice that when she turned sideways, she practically disappeared. willow was pretty, well, “willowy” there for awhile too. even spike seemed to be unnaturally thin (he was also dead, which is a decent excuse).
so have at it. watch the video. bask in the young energy, big brains and humor that was “buffy the vampire slayer”. ah, buffy. its nostalg-eriffic!
You Go, Hillary: Handing a Pro-Life Congressman His Ass on International Reproductive Rights
September 17, 2009
i was looking for video of the 2000 new york senate debate between hillary clinton and douchebag extraordinaire rick lazio…because of the similarities i saw between that and kanye west’s recent douchebaggery. both men, it seems, believe that its acceptable male behavior to invade a woman’s space and act like an aggressive, entitled asshole. anyone remember that clinton/lazio debate? i will never forget it, but it seems like that video is nowhere to be found. and i am not the first to have noticed.
what i did find was the above: an excellent clip of hillary handing some pro-life congressman his ass at an april, 2009 congressional hearing addressing access to abortion and international reproductive rights. listen and see how strong, well-reasoned, and respectful she is. and she doesnt back down from her position even a teeny, tiny bit. a masterful response.
now, speaking of international reproductive rights:
this is a short clip from a PBS documentary about the “fistula foundation,” a charity that provides medical services to ethiopian women who suffer birth injuries…as long as the women can get to hospital in the capital city of addis ababa, on their own.
turns out, malnourished 12-year old girls being married off, impregnated, and bringing their fetuses to term is bad for the girls’ health. who couldve guessed? specifically, their pelvises are too small for childbirth, and they labor for up to 10 days before expelling a dead fetus (or having it pulled or cut out)…but not before suffering permanent injuries called “fistulas.” a fistula is a tear in — or death of — vaginal tissue that creates an opening between the vaginal wall and the bladder and/or rectum, causing urinary and/or fecal incontinence. these women are then ostracised from their families and communities for the stench, and largely unable to access medical care for their injuries. its heartbreaking, and infuriating, to watch, as these things often are.
here is the full-length documentary. please, please watch the entire thing if you can make the time. i promise you, its worth seeing.
365 Days of Working Out…Turns a Normal Looking Guy Into a Giant Douche
September 15, 2009
this is a time-lapse video of a normal-looking guy who decided he needed to improve his “physique.” he ends up also being less hairy, tanner, and basically looking like a giant douche.
why do people do this to themselves? i have been reading some fat-positive blogs lately and the thing thats stuck with me is that fat does not equal unhealthy, and actually tends to protect you from some things. and being thin, if you are eating crap and sedentary, is even worse that being fat.
but we automatically inquire about — and congratulate — people when they appear to have lost weight, dont we? for fucks sake! what if they just got over being ill? what if they are suffering from wasting from chemo? thinness isnt always an intentional (or a celebratory) state, and some people are just so naturally thin that they feel like freaks, too. people tell them to “eat something” and its supposed to be a “compliment” or a joke. but to anyone thats ever been “too thin,” any body- or weight-related attention is as offensive as telling someone who is fat to “back away from the doughnut.” mind your own fucking business. whether i can or cannot fill out the ass in a pair of jeans is entirely not. your. concern.
It’s the Holocaust, Only Sexier! Fauxgressive Liberal Dickwads Strike Again
September 12, 2009
still trying to get my head around this one. could it be more offensive? i dont think so.
these guys’ schtick is to take old movies and remake memorable scenes using bikini models. ok, i’m with you so far. not that i approve, but at least i can grasp the concept. they have done on the waterfront, raging bull, and 12 angry men. then they decide to remake “schindler’s list.” why? for one thing, its not an old movie, so doesnt even jive with their own premise. heres their mission statement:
Ever wished that all the actors in classic black & white flicks were replaced by bikini models? Well now your wish comes true!
“schindler’s list” is in black and white, sure. but its not a “classic” film in the ways the other selections are. so why did they choose to remake it? what kind of misogynist anti-semite holocaust denier would come up with that?
The Van Jones Debacle: Race and Gender Intersect (Kind Of)
September 7, 2009
obama’s “green jobs czar” recently resigned in a “middle of the night email” over controversial comments he has made about 9/11 and columbine. i have been interested in this as a spectator because of the issues of race and sex that haven been raised, and how they have been dealt with (and ignored).
here is fox news’s treatment of the issue. notice the blatant race-baiting in the intro, when they go off on jones for being “radical” and then follow immediately with the introductory video for the next segment, “black football player punches a white guy in the face.” see how it is deliberately tailored to evoke “these black guys are crazy and threatening to white people” sentiments from fox news’s audience, lets face it, old white men and racist republicans.
interestingly, fox news edits the van jones/columbine footage to make it sound as if he is calling out specifically “suburban white kids” for perpetrating the schoolyard massacres. clearly, the audience is supposed to be outraged that a black man is calling attention to the problem of “white crime” when the fox news narrative is to speak to the problem of “black crime” and victimized whites, whether they are being “victimized” by crime or by affirmative action or whathaveyou.
this really pissed me off when i first saw it, because while the perpetrators of these crimes are clearly “white” they are not “white children.” they are very notably, and exclusively, white BOYS. while i am certain that the foxies werent going after feminist outrage with their commentary, there are very obvious problems with calling out the problem of race in these instances, but ignoring the gendered nature of these acts. the truth is that its boys and men that are victimizing everyone across the board with violent and gendered crimes. not women and girls.
now, here is a longer clip — of what van jones actually said.
Get Hits on Your Blog: Insult a Feminist!
September 6, 2009
this is just charming. conservative blogger “the other mccain” gives other bloggers advice on “how to get a million hits on your blog”.
rule number 5.D. is “insult a feminst!” how clever. even better, hes having feminists linking to him:
D. Feminism sucks– You can never go wrong in the blogosphere by having a laugh at the expense of feminists. All sane people hate feminism, and no one hates feminism more than smart, successful, independent women who’ve made it on their own without all that idiotic “Sisterhood Is Powerful” groupthink crap.
the other rules are just about as trite as this one. “tits and ass” basically describes rules 5.A through 5.C. “start flamewars” comprises rules 3 and 4. yawn. “blog whoring” and “trackback reach arounds” top the list at 1 and 2, respectively. did i mention that this guy is misogynist as fuck? no? thats because i didnt have to. its no surprise that he hit a million. no fucking surprise at all.
The Best Use of a Treadmill I Have Ever Seen
September 4, 2009
i love this video. it makes the throbbing in my head stop for 3:24.
i really, really love watching men not act like assholes. these guys arent acting at all like assholes, so i like watching it. thats all. enjoy!
