Enthusiastic Dissent February 6, 2012Posted by FCM in health, PIV, rape.
Tags: divorce, PIV, rape
i recently had a woman in my life ask me for advice. she said that even though she told her husband she no longer wishes to have PIV, that he keeps bothering her about it, and even though her main reason for removing PIV from the table is menopause-related, in that PIV now causes her extreme pain and recurrent infections, he is getting increasingly and explicitly coercive. she specifically asked for a list of arguments she might be able to use when he comes after her again, and she plans to stockpile them, essentially, like ammo. if that doesnt give just the perfect mental picture, then i dont know what does.
so, heres what i said. keeping in mind that i know some of the details of her situation, and that this is a custom-tailored list, heres what i came up with:
you could tell him that you arent a blowup doll and suggest that he get one. or tell him you give him permission to get a girlfriend, and that you are sure there are plenty of young women that would love to have intercourse with him. NOT. or that no PIV is NOT a grounds for divorce in your state, so whats his point? he is not asserting a real right here, just an imagined one. [link to divorce law site]
as for his assertion that its your “right” as a woman to enthusiastically engage in PIV until you are 90, [HAHA!! HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO HER] tell him ok fine, its your RIGHT and you are choosing not to assert your right in this instance. ask him if “women” (women generally, including you) also have the right to refuse PIV, whether they are old or young? if so, why? if not, why not? do his daughters have this right? does his mother?
as for his being unable to get his head around “never having PIV again” tell him you dont control that, only he controls that. all you are saying is that hes never going to have PIV with YOU again, and thats bc you arent ever going to have PIV again with anyone and that part of your life is over, and you are ok with that.
insist that YOU have the right to anally penetrate him with a dildo of whatever size YOU choose, and you dont care if it hurts him bc its your (MADE UP) right to do so and you are asserting it. or, tell him that its your right to be married to a rich man and you are asserting that right, so he better start looking for a second job right away. tell him you are a gold digger and you are tired of GOING WITHOUT.
tell him that intercourse is a scam that only very young women buy into because they dont know any better, and you arent young anymore and neither is your vagina. tell him that yes, there are documented physical changes that occur with menopause.
that article says that the PIV-related symptoms can be minor or severe. for minor symptoms, IF A WOMAN WANTS TO (which you dont) she can use a lube. but if they are severe, the only treatment is hormone replacement therapy that has side effects and potential complications, up to and including death. tell him that yours is severe, and you arent willing to take the risk OF DEATH in order to engage in PIV with him. if he is willing to die from it, suggest that he take his blowup doll onto the freeway and take his chances.
then after thinking about it for another hour, i sent this one, because her partner prides himself in being a terrific family man who loves his children more than anything in the entire world, allegedly including his daughters:
next time he brings this up, stop the conversation immediately, and tell him to call his daughters RIGHT NOW and tell them that they do not have the right to refuse intercourse with men. tell him to call his daughters RIGHT NOW and tell them that if a man does something to them that hurts, that they dont have the right to stop him, and tell them that if a man hurts them that they just need to let him keep hurting them. tell them they will probably get used to it over time. [THATS WHAT HE SAID TO HER, THAT THE REASON IT 'HURTS' HER IS BC THEY DONT DO IT ENOUGH, THEREFORE TO ALLEVIATE THE PAIN THEY SHOULD DO IT MORE].
if he says that its different bc you are married, then tell him that you are going to call his daughters and tell them that they should never get married and tell them why. then, tell him that the “right” to intercourse wasnt in your marriage vows. just like you having the “right” to be married to a millionaire wasnt in your vows, and perhaps you shouldve both considered that before you got married.
some of these are nuclear, all are eminently reasonable. thing is that i know none of them are going to work, if by “work” you mean they are actually going to convince a man, and get him to really, really feel it, that he doesnt deserve unfettered sexual access to a woman, and that its not, in fact, his god-given right as a man to have PIV on demand. dood actually told her that HE DESERVES BETTER. when the truth of the matter is that if he got what he deserved, he would have less than nothing, because thats what he deserves. and he sure as hell doesnt deserve her, and everything shes done for him over the years, and all the ways his life is better for being with her, because she takes excellent care of him and excellent care of everything.
if only men got what they deserved. if only. the world as we know it would be unrecognizable. and facing that beautiful new world, i think i’d turn cartwheels down the street until my hands bled, and then i’d wash the gravel out, and then….well, i think i would take a pillow and a blanket to the beach and sleep there for a week and think about what i would do with my life, because my work would be done. and i would be so happy about that. oh. my. god. the happy.