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The Neo-Vagina Monologues January 23, 2010

Posted by FCM in authors picks, entertainment, feminisms, health, kids, PIV, rape, self-identified feminist men, thats mean, trans, WTF?.
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like women, vaginas dont have much of a voice in a patriarchal, misogynist culture.  thus, a woman playwright created “the vagina monologues.” 

the title was shocking, but even more so was the very notion that vaginas, like women, have experiences. of course, born-women know that.  but not surprisingly, noone ever asks about womens experiences, or those of our vaginas.  now that someone has mentioned it, my vagina is pretty pissed off too. all vaginas are, thats the whole point. 

vaginas are pissed off because they are treated like shit, like garbage. like toys. when in reality, vaginas are organs. organs, like hearts and lungs are organs. got that? good.  and organs, like, do stuff.  they are good for more than one thing.  working in conjunction with other organs and tissues, organs create organ-systems.  often, overlapping systems that, like, do stuff.  like this: 

now, a question.  what other organs do we deliberately treat like shit?  do we expose the heart and lungs to poisons, chemicals and irritants in order to improve them?  what other of our organs are considered defective and in need of intervention, when they are working properly in their natural state?  none. got that?  good. 

this is the state of the union when it comes to women and our vaginas.  our sex.  literally, our born-sex.  vaginas are organs, but women are the “other.”  medically, socially, and sexually, we are a defective knock-off of the real thing: men.  thats going to cause some problems for us. because its a shared problem, theres a shared history there.  a female-specific history, specifically related to our born-sex.  think i am an essentialist for pointing that out?  go fuck yourself.  then, consider this common example: our first periods.  menstruation is treated as if it were a disease, and women as if we are diseased, even though its a completely normal function of a healthy organ system.  and many of us remember the first time we menstruated just like we remember where we were on 9/11, or when kennedy was shot (or whatever):

our vaginas are also the preferred target of men’s abuse.  this necessitates men protecting us from other men, begging the question: protection from WHAT?  we dont need men to protect us, we need men to leave us alone.  but they never do, do they?  “the vagina monologues” includes the story of one woman who, as a child, was raped by her dad’s best friend.  her dad shot him, and she didnt see her dad again for 7 years because some other men sent him to fucking jail.  for shooting a rapist, while the rapist’s dick was still inside the mans minor daughter:

these are compelling stories, every one of them.  now i ask you, people.  what would a neo-vagina have to say, if a neo-vagina could talk?  this is a serious question.  to help you get into character, heres a prop: this is what a neo-vagina looks like:

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Oh Golly Gee, Girls Are So Confusing!!1!11 January 16, 2010

Posted by FCM in gender roles, kids, pop culture.
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they really start playing this game early in life, dont they? boys and men have everything to gain from pretending that girls and women are “confusing.”

pretending that girls and women “dont know what we want” so what, thats a free pass to give us everything you know we *dont* want? because thats what it looks like to me.

lets start here.  women are human beings, and human beings *dont want* certain things, by design.  like pain, fear, uncertainty, stress, and abuse.  seriously.  if little junior here could just remember that, he would be, like, seriously ahead of the game, compared to many boys and men.  READ THE LIST AGAIN AND MEMORIZE IT.  i am not even fucking kidding.  it will be the best thing you ever did.

from there, we can move on to more advanced topics, like having to share too little resources with too many people.  nope, women dont like that any more than human beings like it.  so stop knocking us up.  but for now…just stick with the basics.

sadly, its not just boys and men who are playing this game.  girls are playing along with the same tired lines, including “i want to be mysterious!” and “youre right, i *dont* know what i want!”  but i am not going to post a video here of a teenaged girl playing into the misogyny of her culture.  thats just not fair.  plus its clear that several girls who responded to this disarmingly cute british boy typical little exhibitionist attention-grabbing male were just trying to flirt with him.  also not going there.

but i did watch most of them, and this young woman had the best response so far:  she basically says that if you want to understand girls, “hang out with them and talk to them.”  you know, like you do with the other humans.  thats good advice.

too hard for you? or, just not really *that* interested in answering your own tired bullshit question? dont worry junior.  just stick with the list.  carry around a cheat-sheet if you have to.  laminate it, and consult it often.  no shit.

Dora Explores…Domestic Labor! December 1, 2009

Posted by FCM in entertainment, gender roles, kids, pop culture, WTF?.
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whats next? dora "exploring" domestic violence? or the sex trade?

i saw a commercial for this one lastnight, and i admit that somehow this has flown under my radar for at least the last 2 christmases.   

see the commercial for yourself here.  its really a must-see.  now, i know there are many variations on the pink plastic kitchen out there for little girls to unwrap at birthdays and christmas and play with.  i had an easy-bake oven when i was 7 that was a blast (until i left the plastic spatula in the oven and it melted). but “dora the explorer” is supposed to be an adventurous girl that goes on, you know, educational adventures…that are almost (but not quite, of course) like the fun stuff little boys get to do. you see, dora is supposed to be different

heres the product description from toys r us

Dora’s Talking Kitchen brings Dora’s adventures into kitchen role play. Children can go on Dora recipe adventures with the help of the 5 recipe adventure maps and 28 play pieces. Also included are bilingual phrases, music and sound effects. 

oh goody!  kitchen-role play for children! see how they attempt to follow the patented dora “adventure” theme by having “recipe adventure maps?”  how exciting!  why not just have a detailed map of the aisles at the supermarket?  at least that would be educational (excuse me, but where is “butterpat island” exactly? wait, its the boring old dairy case!? dora fucked me!)  now, tell me truly: are they really talking about “children” here, or almost exclusively little girls?  the commercial tells you all you need to know about the gender of fisher-price’s intended target. 

and its just plain creepy to call anything dealing with children “role play.”  kids play, they use their imaginations, but they are not role-playing.  okay?  role playing is for grown ups getting their skank on in the bedroom, or purging their emotional guts out on the therapists’ couch.  unless…could fisher price really be admitting their true intention here: to groom little girls for the “role” of domestic laborer?  why admit it?  so called “girls’ toys” have been doing that for centuries,** but theres something so not right about calling this scenario “role play.”  for real, thats weird.

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