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New Miracle Whip Commercials…WTF? October 20, 2009

Posted by FCM in entertainment, pop culture, thats random, WTF?.
Tags: , , ,

this has got to be the stupidest idea for an ad campaign i have ever, i mean EVER seen.  it has all the elements:  tries too hard; generic “youthful energy” theme; and incongruence between the message and the product.  it leaves me feeling confused, and irritated.  is that the intended effect?

for one thing, miracle whip sucks.  lets just get that very obvious fact out there, in the beginning.  and…young people dont eat mayonnaise-y deli salads when they get together.  ok?  they just dont.  it makes me wonder how old the advertising crew was, to even come up with an idea this…stupid.  its just stupid!  the idiocy of it, including the inappropriate special-effects and the trying-too-hard just smacks of inexperience to me…and yet anyone who was within 20 years of their bygone-youth would know that their premise here was seriously flawed.  so were they too old, or too young to pull this off?  how did this happen?

i am not the only one asking these questions.  see stephen colbert’s pro-mayo parody here, complete with hipster mayo-eaters doing bong hits out of old mayo jars…and here is youjustmademylist.com proposing their own much-improved script (this one gets my vote, even over colbert…sorry stephen):

Fuck you world, I love Miracle Whip and if you don’t like it you can eat my creamy, white shit. Don’t try and tell ME and MY generation what condiments we should eat. Take your old man sandwich spread and shove it up your old man ass because guess what motherfucker, I’m going to eat Miracle Whip with a spoon while getting a mohawk. Look dude, I don’t care if I spill a little M-Whip on my Ron Paul poster, because that’s the way it goes man when you are fucking vibing on a jar of the Whip! Now if you will excuse me, I have to comb my ironic mustache and down a little Whip before going to my bike messenger job. Jealous?

why yes, yes i am jealous…of that author’s creativity and inspired development of my new favorite miracle-whip themed catchphrase: “eat my creamy, white shit.”  brilliant!

perhaps the advertisers (and whomever approved this message) were from another planet?  or…maybe a different country?  ok this is making a little more sense.  has miracle whip TM outsourced its advertising to somewhere where they dont have young people, or real mayonnaise?  i dont pretend to speak for americas youth or anything, but lets get realistic about what people do, and do not, eat, when they get together, are in a good mood, and are under 50:

ages 13-20 (the younger set)

fast food.  perhaps with some mayo (NOT miracle whip) on the burger but its not deliberate.  if not fast food, then its whatever they can find at a convenience store, or the prepared-foods section of trader joes.  young people have litte to no control over what goes into their food, whether its restaurant-prepared, in the dorms, or put on the table by good old mom and/or dad.  and even if they had control…its highly doubtful that they would choose miracle whip.  and this commercial is not going to change that.

ages 21-34 (college-kids; disaffected graduates)

bar-food, or delivery pizza.  mayo may be found, but its incidental, as in a dip.  and again, NO MIRACLE WHIP, anywhere.  (for anyone who has never tried it, miracle whip tastes like ass, and would absolutely RUIN a bleu-cheese dip, and piss you off, no matter how drunk you were.  and not even the cheesiest dives use it, ever).  again:  no control over the decision to use miracle whip versus mayonnaise.  when these people get together, they arent making potato salad for each other.  ok?  they have a little bit of money, they have tiny apartments, and they dont have time for this shit.  they are going to go out, or order in.

ages 35-45 (newly married homeowner; similarly-situated friends)

backyard barbecue.  ketchup, mustard, and pickle.  and maybe some cheese or bacon.  onion/lettuce/tomato?  CHECK.  but NO MIRACLE WHIP, and no freaking mayonnaisey-salads.  okay?  none.  not unless it was a family reunion, or a wake.  you know, with OLD PEOPLE, who were NOT in a good mood.

heres another one:

now, i enjoy an unintentional joke as much as the next person.  and i wish this were an example of one.  it wouldnt make the pain go away, but “its so bad its good” is always better than something thats so bad it passes good and goes back to bad.  (thanks to thora birch in “ghost world” for articulating that concept.)

for nostalgia’s sake, i looked up some older miracle whip commercials, and they were strangely appropriate.  (somehow all miracle whip commercials are a little strange, because who really gives a shit about miracle whip? but its possible to be both strange AND appropriate, as you will see). 

like this one:  making a sandwich for dad, who understandably doesnt want some dry fucking bread on his leftover-chicken sandwich (leftover chicken needs a little something, seriously).  mom also doesnt give him the choice of another condiment, which is telling.  sure, even i might choose miracle whip if there was literally nothing else, and this woman’s cupboard is almost bare:

and as to the family-reunion aspect of it, i rest my case.  accepting that people do actually use miracle whip EVER, tell me that this isnt MUCH more realistic:

and to add the absurd to the bizarre…miracle whip also has a facebook page and youtube channel (which 4 people have subscribed to…?) and describes itself thusly:

About Me:

Miracle Whip is all about adding spice whether it be to your life or sandwich. Never boring. Never bland. Never blending in. Always on. Always spreading unique flavor. Always ready to bring the zing!

its almost as if miracle whip showed their new advertising team their old commercials and said “do the opposite.”  but the problem with taking something that actually WORKS, and doing the opposite, should be clear.  at least, its clear NOW.  sorry, miracle whip.  friend request…denied.



1. Loretta Kemsley - October 20, 2009

ROTFLOL. Can you believe they get paid millions to produce those commercials? Great fun to read your dissection of their…ummm….what to call it? drek. That’s it. Their drek.

2. factcheckme - October 20, 2009

no, i really cant believe they paid millions for this. its kind of a headscratcher really, like WTF were they thinking? and…did this campaign cause their sales to increase? i would really like to know the answer to that.

3. redmegaera - October 20, 2009

WTF? I’m speechless.

factcheckme - October 20, 2009

LOL do you have these commercials in australia red? if not, youre lucky!

4. NoBO - October 23, 2009

I’ve been noticing how ridiculously desperate the Miracle Whip commercials have been getting. They must be losing big money to Vegenaise in that age group (which appears to have the most veggies/vegans). It is expensive, but tastes better.

factcheckme - October 23, 2009

i have tried vegannaise. it also tastes like ass. LOL when i was a vegetarian, i quickly learned that the animal-protein substitutes out there were absolutely awful. fake cheese, i think, was the worst. it tasted and had the mouth-feel of plastic. i got used to the idea of just getting rid of all animal protein from my diet, and chose other whole foods instead and never looked back. it was liberating. and cheaper! as you mention, the fake stuff is very expensive.

i am not a vegetarian anymore however, and so eat real mayo occasionally. the whole-foods diet was actually a great learning experience, and has allowed me to eat pretty healthfully even now that i have reintroduced animal products. the less processed foods, the better.

5. femspotter - October 24, 2009

What I want to know is what’s in that mayonnaise? Those people are definitely on something! Is cocaine in the mayo?

I like the Cheerios commercial where the little girl puts “heart healthy” Cheerios in her dad’s coat pocket and he finds them later when he leaves the house for work. But in comparing that one to this one with the sandwich I think: what kid wants to clog her dad’s arteries?

factcheckme - October 24, 2009

yeah that would be funny if the kid put miracle whip in her dads coat pocket. LOL but lets hope no little kids care that little about their dads blood sugar: M-Whip is almost 100% high-fructose corn syrup. ew!

6. Joce Claire - October 25, 2009

I grew up on Miracle Whip, because I think my mom had this idea that it was healthier (I guess this was before the concept of “good fats,” which are mostly what is in mayo, and definitely before the concept of “bad carbs,” which are mostly what’s in Miracle Whip). Then when I was 17 I started working at a sandwich shop that only used Hellman’s mayo, and I fell in love, and converted my whole family. My mom hasn’t bought Miracle Whip since.

The commercials are true, in that mayo tends to complement the flavors of whatever you put it in rather than “standing out” in some nasty, artificial way like Miracle Whip.

I saw the first page when you first posted it, but didn’t realize it continued into such a brilliant dissection of target markets! Really funny stuff.

factcheckme - October 25, 2009

my mom did the same thing, PLUS fed us margarine instead of butter. i remember asking her when i was like 8 years old WTF was up with that. she said well, you have to choose between cholesterol, which we know is dangerous, and artificial stuff that they will probably find out is poison later on, but at least has no cholesterol. thanks mom! nothing beats the tangy zip of poison on a sandwich. and who wouldnt want some warm, melty chronic systemic inflammation on their morning toast.

thanks for stopping by!

7. glennmcgahee - October 27, 2009

Somebody said it before, its the sugar. You can see its effect in the commercials. “Be different – don’t blend in”. Sounds like a commercial against Koolaid.

factcheckme - October 27, 2009

LOL its definitely the sugar. i am all for a sweet-and-savory experience with my food…but M-whip is just gross. real mayo with some dried cranberres or apricots is really good on a turkey or chicken salad sandwich. yum!

8. ella - November 19, 2009

In a way, the ad succeeded because people noticed it and the product. Now, whether noticing it is enough to generate sales, that’s the question.

factcheckme - November 19, 2009

LOL agreed, ella. that *is* the question. i wonder if their gamble paid off?

9. mths - December 5, 2009

This looks exactly like the crap that my painfully-still-trying-to-be-hip ex-boss at an old agency I used to work at would come up with, right down to the anthem and the squiggly letters. He was like 55 at the time. I am 43 now. I know better.

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