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“Rape Culture Simultaneously Exists, and Does Not Exist,” Say Transactivists January 3, 2010

Posted by FCM in authors picks, feminisms, rape, self-identified feminist men, thats mean, trans.
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what are you so afraid of?

feminists get that we live in a rape culture, where every single man is shroedinger’s rapist to every single woman.  most nonfeminist women “get” this too, although they are loathe to call themselves feminists for whatever reason: hence we have the much beleaguered “bathroom dilemma” faced by men in dresses transwomen who insist on using female-only restrooms and invading other female-only spaces whenever the fuck it suits them. 

but what the transactivists are saying on this issue makes.  no.  sense.  the foundation of their argument that even non-op transwomen should be allowed unfettered access to women’s bathrooms is that *men rape, and they are afraid of being raped if they use the men’s room*.  ok, i am with them so far, i mean really.  men *do* rape.  and i wouldnt want to have to use the restroom next to them either.  HENCE THE PROBLEM. 

transwomen are not women, they are men.  they were raised to be aggressive and entitled, because they were born male, and raised male.  because they were raised male in a rape culture, transwomen will inevitably believe that sexual violence is a handy tool with which to punish women, and many transwomen want to punish born-women so badly they cannot contain it.  heres an example of this blatant misogyny and uncontrollable, sexually-charged rage against born-women who dare question transpolitics, or challenge “transwomen’s” entitlement, in any way: 

But I still want to be a woman so my only realistic option now is to abduct you…keep you in my cellar…make you use loads of moisturiser on your body….then skin you & make it into a lady suit, for me to wear.  {BTW, what dress size are you, I’m 5′ 11″ will you fit me?}  I’m pretty sure this is an original idea. 

ps. we should be together.  u wank-cam? 

and heres another: 

Wotcha marjieworm-twat. This is great.  I just read your transphobic rant & you are more barking than me. (You’re parents must be so proud of you}.  As your post removes your rights as a human, I can fuck with your head as much as I want.  Think I’ll do racist, not tried that before.  I want you to be my black nigga slave girl.  suck my muther fucking cock, you bitch.  Um, how was that? 

We can move onto date rape & cannibalism next if you like, in future mails.  Please write back.  I love you & we should be together. Quack! 

now.  the essence of “schroedinger’s rapist” which was addressed so well over at shapely prose (also known as “not TRANSPHOBIC! prose”) was that, as women, we have no way of knowing whether a man is a rapist until he attacks us.  NO.  WAY. OF. KNOWING.  UNTILHEATTACKSUS.  and all men are schroedinger’s rapist, to all women: thats the essence of living in a rape culture.  rape is normal, because aggression and entitlement are normal, if you are a man; and its become normal for women to expect it, and to fear it, from all men.  like it or lump it. 

so while shapely prose is quite eloquently telling us how it is, the transactivists who just *love* reading her continue to miss the point: that it applies to transwomen, too, but not as victims.  you see, transwomen are schroedinger’s rapists, too.  women have no way of knowing if transwomen are rapists, until they attack us.  NO.  WAY.  OF.  KNOWING. UNILTHEYATTACKUS.  its almost beside the point that we dont know if you really “feel” like a woman, or not, and we have no way of knowing.  and some of us dont fucking care how you feel.  we dont want to be using the toilet next to a fucking man, because of the threat of rape.  you know, the one that the transactivists like to pretend exists (when it suits them) and simultaneously does not exist, when it would benefit *them* if it didnt.  but thats the case.  not at all.  

of course, since some transwomen think that anything a woman could ever say “removes her rights as a human being,” and cannot contain their rape fantasies and threats of sexual violence against radical feminists who dare challenge them, i dare say its only a matter of time before a transwoman rapes a born-woman, in the name of feminism. and that, my friends, will be a sad, disasterous, white-hot angry day for feminists, and for feminism as a whole.  and surely the transactivists would cheer it on, and herald the rapist as a champion of womens rights, and a gender-nonconformist, to boot. 

what a fucking disaster this feminist-embracing of “transactivism” has turned out to be.  a DISASTER.  for women i mean.  not for men, or “transwomen”.  in other words, nothing new under the sun.

Comments

1. polly - January 3, 2010

Some trans women do rape and murder. Fact.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/3161209.stm

2. polly - January 3, 2010
3. polly - January 3, 2010

He later changed his mind by the way.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article33938.ece

factcheckme - January 3, 2010

thanks for the links polly. personally, i am waiting for the “in the name of feminism” part but the point also needs to be made that transwomen rape and murder for “no” reason too. you know, just like men do.

factcheckme - January 3, 2010

from the first link:


Karen Louise Lawson – who used to be called Mark John Jones – committed the attack in a transsexuals’ shop in Greater Manchester. Bolton Crown Court heard the 21-year-old, of no fixed abode, had only stopped his assault when he failed to get an erection. Lawson, who pleaded guilty to attempted rape, was jailed for life by the judge, who ruled his second violent crime was not an exceptional case. He had committed the attempted rape just days after being freed on licence after serving half of a five-year sentence for manslaughter in a male young offenders institution. In 2001, when he was aged 18, he had admitted strangling his former lover when he refused to pay for Lawson’s sex change operation.

and my recollection is that this is the SAME FUCKING GUY that the feminists rallied around because he “needed” to be transferred to a WOMENS PRISON lest he be raped in the male prison! you know, by the MEN. who RAPE.

4. polly - January 3, 2010

Oh there’s more

A convicted paedophile treated by the UK’s top transsexual therapist has expressed regret after undergoing gender reassignment.

The former patient, is one of five complainants at a General Medical Council hearing accusing Dr Russell Reid behaved inappropriately towards five transgender patients by recommending sex change treatments too quickly between 1984 and 2003.

The male to female transsexual has gone back to living as a man, The Guardian reports, after regretting gender reassignment in 1996.

The patient, known as patient C, admitted that he had never cross dressed and said he had at first hidden his conviction from Dr Reid.

Upon discovering that patient C was a paedophile, Dr Reid continued the treatment regardless of the revelation, the hearing was told.

Patient C said he only wanted to become a woman to win back his boyfriend who had sought a “motherly figure” for his children

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-2878.html/

5. dirt - January 3, 2010

Rape and ownership of the “feMALE” body is what lies behind every autogynephiles sick mentality. Autogynephiles who make up the majority of men who trannify do so in order to own and abuse the female image they try (and I stress try) to create.

Go to flickr or any such site, search transgender or transsexual and what you will find are thousands of trannified hetero white middle class men taking pics of themselves in various stages of womens dress and undress, all to be used like your typical serial killer for masturbating to at later times.

Yeah I can see how these types really belong in womens bathrooms/locker rooms/showers!

dirt

6. polly - January 3, 2010

I could go on and on with tales of convicted sex offenders who’ve had sex reassignnment surgery. But the point is that over here you don’t need to have any sex reassignment surgery at all to legally be a woman,just have gender dysphoria. If the equalities bill passes (unlikely at this stage) that definition will become even wider.

7. SheilaG - January 3, 2010

It is not just a matter of time before transwomen rape or murder. They are already doing this, as in the above mentioned article.

The real gender transgression would be for the men in dresses to be forced to use men’s restrooms, and thus have to make the other men “deal” with them. Now that would be radical. It is not radical to invade women’s space, men believe women have no space all to themselves anyway, and they have a perfect right to go anywhere they want to and the hell with women.

Thanks for this post FCM. I am so sick of feminists sticking up for these guys. This shouldn’t even be an issue with women!

8. Butterflywings - January 4, 2010

Agree with all of you. It is just disgusting. Yes, wasn’t that the guy who got moved to a women’s prison, because it was ‘a breach of his human rights’ otherwise? Fuck. There is no human right to be considered whatever gender you want.
I could decide I am black right now. It wouldn’t make it true – in fact, it would be kind of offensive.

9. donteatthefishsticks - January 4, 2010

Of course there are trans women who rape and murder. There are “FAB” women who do it too. The question is, in what numbers are they doing it? I say it’s the same thing. You or I could be raped by ANYBODY, but 99.99999% of the time the rapist is a cis man.

LOL @ the notion of some drooling idiot’s (who may or may not even be trans) post representing all “transactivists.” What is the point of posting those?

LOL @ the idea that those of us who live as women in the real fucking world are in any way ambivalent about rape culture.

10. berryblade - January 4, 2010

Thanks for the links Polly, and the excellent rant/essay Femonande.

@Dirt – interesting you suggest that, cos I’ve just searched flickr for “transgender” and funnily enough have just found as you said;

“Go to flickr or any such site, search transgender or transsexual and what you will find are thousands of trannified hetero white middle class men taking pics of themselves in various stages of womens dress and undress, all to be used like your typical serial killer for masturbating to at later times.”

which is interesting when you consider that these trans”women” have put captions under their photos like

“Upright, and tight . . . just the way you like it! ”
“FORCED FEMINIZATION”
“I have always had a bit of a thing for office girls… ” (wearing suit)
“FEMININE BY CHOICE NOT BY BIRTH”

And apart from the obvious masochistic element taken into it, I still haven’t seen any examples that show to me most trans”women” think that FAB womyn live in club dresses, ball gowns, high heels and fifteen kilos of makeup. Also not seeing any short haired, sneaker and jean wearing trans’women’ who don’t have 9000lbs of makeup on.

Funny that.

factcheckme - January 4, 2010


You or I could be raped by ANYBODY, but 99.99999% of the time the rapist is a cis man.


and therein lies the rub, fishsticks. theres NO FUCKING WAY TO KNOW whether that man in a dress is “cis” or not. but more to the point, neither you nor the other trans-trolls (nor anyone else) have been able to prove that “cis” even exists…and therefore its impossible to say how many rapes and murders so-called “trans” are responsible for. so why are you trying?

and its telling that you claim to believe that “anyone” can be a rapist. women arent known to rape, but you obviously have something to gain by acting as if the propensity to rape is gender-neutral. gee, i wonder what that would be?

11. thebewilderness - January 4, 2010

LOL @ the idea that those of us who live as women in the real fucking world are in any way ambivalent about rape culture.

Right, that’s why you’re laughing, eh?
Don’t “us” me buster. I’m not laughing.

12. SheilaG - January 4, 2010

Why is it so hard to ask the really direct question, why is it that men rape? And what can be done to stop them forever? Men rape. Not people, MEN. I am so sick of people calling this a human problem, and until we deal with this as a worldwide culture, I don’t want any goddamn men in my spaces as a woman.
I don’t want MTFs in prisons with women, I don’t want men in dresses in the rest rooms. And I think women have every right to be cautious and not want to be exposed to the risk of rape BY MEN. So MEN, why don’t you do something and get rid of the rapists in your midst, ostracize the rape jokers, get outraged that those creeps are giving all you guys a very bad name in the world. Because until you start getting good and mad and putting a stop to all of this, I’m going to take precautions, and that means… MEN in dresses, keep out of my way!

13. Miska - January 4, 2010

I am reminded of the case of Paul Denyer, who was convicted of killing three women, and who later attempted to transition into a woman. Fortunately the government rejected his request.

But what is disturbing in this case is how he made no attempt to hide his misogyny when questioned by police about his motivation for killing the women. From the police transcript:


POLICE: Can you explain why we have women victims?
DENYER: I just hate them.
POLICE: I beg your pardon.
DENYER: I hate them.
POLICE: Those particular girls or women in general?
DENYER: General.

And then this prick thinks he can become a woman? Fuck him. Fuck any man who thinks he can become a woman.

14. Nicky - January 4, 2010

I totally agree how disgusting it is for a man to claim womanhood and forcing other women to accept his pseudo womanhood. That’s why when trannies are trying to force their way into a woman’s bathroom, they are essentially using their male behavior, male power and male privilege and forcing that male mentality on to women and intersex people as well.

15. polly - January 4, 2010

Of course there are trans women who rape and murder. There are “FAB” women who do it too.

Can you name me ONE FAB woman who has raped AND murdered without being the accomplice of a male donteatthefishsticks. Just one?

Anyway if females are so dangerous why are males queueing to enter the female toilets?

We are told that 2 transwomen being murdered a year in the UK is a huge amount because of the small amount of trans women about. I’ve just told you about 5 transwomen in the UK (the second link had a story about three prisoners who were transwomen and also murderers)who are sex offenders/murderers and you’re saying there aren’t many. You can’t have it both ways. That is a really cursory google search. I could probably come up with a LOT more.

And that’s those who have had/wanted surgery. What about those who just ‘identify’ as women? Because apparently we have to let them into female toilets as well.

16. polly - January 4, 2010

My guess is that trans women are rapists in the same proportion as any other male person.

17. born woman for born women - January 5, 2010

transwomen can’t get their stories straight or be bothered to critically analyze anything. instead, they appropriate the language of the social justice movements, especially that of feminism, to entrap born women into buying what they’re selling. they set themselves up as victims to intimidate critical thinkers and feminists into swallowing their altered version of the truth in favor of trusting their own lived experience.

the second someone questions the “logic” of transwomen, they’re labeled a transphobic bigot. isn’t part of male privilege feeling entitled to unwavering, unfaltering, and unconditional acceptable? yeah, thought so.

18. pmsrhino - January 5, 2010

Those comments never fail to make me cringe. How anyone can claim they deserve to come into a womans bathroom and in practically the same breath make a rape threat? They’re serious? Fucking ridiculous. They are negating their own argument.

Men identifying as women: We deserve to come into the ladies bathroom because we identify as women!
Born women: But you’re men. We don’t want you in our restrooms and one of the reasons is because we fear we may be raped.
Men identifying as women: But we could be raped in the mens restroom so we want to be safe in your restroom.
Born women: Because men rape, and you are men then we are also afraid you will rape us.
Men identifying as women: You’re being transphobic.
Born women: No, we just know men rape so we don’t want men in our restrooms, no matter how they identify.
Men identifying as women: Bitches we’ll fucking rape you!
Born women: WTF?
Men identifying as women: Yeah, you won’t let us into your restrooms because you’re afraid of being raped, so I’m gonna threaten you with rape to prove my point!
Born women: I think you’re forgetting your point.

And so on. Ridiculous. Would be like being against the death penalty and then threatening to kill anyone who doesn’t agree with me. Or any other such nonsense. How can a group that wants our help and has basically taken over our movement be so violent towards us? Towards the people they claim to be or want to become?

I know I can answer my own question: Male privilege. But when they’re called out on their shit and concrete proof of their potential male violence is shoved right in their faces they still throw shit like “Yeah, but FAB women rape and murder too!” around, like that negates the rape threat that was posted. Or makes any damn sense. Men rape and murder, no matter how they identify. No made up statistics will negate the fact that overwhelmingly it is born men who commit rape and generally it is born women who are the targets. Why is that not enough reason to not want a born man in my restroom? Why am I suddenly transphobic instead of just making sure I can get through another day without being attacked?

I can has my feminist movement back now?

19. polly - January 5, 2010

And when women don’t fall for it, they resort to threatening lawsuits for copyright infringment. Hilarious! (and obviously people who know nothing about law).

factcheckme - January 6, 2010


Men identifying as women: We deserve to come into the ladies bathroom because we identify as women!
Born women: But you’re men. We don’t want you in our restrooms and one of the reasons is because we fear we may be raped.
Men identifying as women: But we could be raped in the mens restroom so we want to be safe in your restroom.
Born women: Because men rape, and you are men then we are also afraid you will rape us.
Men identifying as women: You’re being transphobic.
Born women: No, we just know men rape so we don’t want men in our restrooms, no matter how they identify.
Men identifying as women: Bitches we’ll fucking rape you!
Born women: WTF?
Men identifying as women: Yeah, you won’t let us into your restrooms because you’re afraid of being raped, so I’m gonna threaten you with rape to prove my point!
Born women: I think you’re forgetting your point.


excellent synopsis, pmsrhino. thats exactly what this conversation has been like. and they do it without a hint of irony too.

20. SheilaG - January 6, 2010

Yeah, can we have our feminist movement back now?!
Mary Daly must be rolling in her grave right this minute!

21. Nicky - January 6, 2010

The same thing can be said within the intersex community as well. The moment, someone within the intersex community doesn’t buy into the transgender theory, that the transgender people like to push and shove to the intersex people, they are automatically labeled as transphobic and a bigot. That’s why transgender people are all too trigger happy to pull out the bigot, transphobic and lawsuit cards out when women and intersex people don’t buy into what they are peddling.

22. Miska - January 7, 2010


Men identifying as women: We deserve to come into the ladies bathroom because we identify as women!
Born women: But you’re men. We don’t want you in our restrooms and one of the reasons is because we fear we may be raped.
Men identifying as women: But we could be raped in the mens restroom so we want to be safe in your restroom.
Born women: Because men rape, and you are men then we are also afraid you will rape us.
Men identifying as women: You’re being transphobic.
Born women: No, we just know men rape so we don’t want men in our restrooms, no matter how they identify.
Men identifying as women: Bitches we’ll fucking rape you!
Born women: WTF?
Men identifying as women: Yeah, you won’t let us into your restrooms because you’re afraid of being raped, so I’m gonna threaten you with rape to prove my point!
Born women: I think you’re forgetting your point.

Spot on.

pmsrhino – do you mind if I maybe turn this dialog into a pic?

23. pmsrhino - January 7, 2010

Lol, don’t mind if you do, Miska!😀

24. SheilaG - January 7, 2010

You should see all the stuff they are writing about Mary Daly, the transphobic. Funny how I never read one sentence where Daly ever threatened to kill men or transwomen, much less rape them. I guess they haven’t read the rape threats by transwomen against women born women captured in Miska’s above post. Sometimes even feminists are blind I guess.

25. Laurelin - January 8, 2010

Transactivists kicking a woman’s corpse, eh? How classy. How feminist.

26. SheilaG - January 10, 2010

Yeah, they’ll attack her endlessly, trying to destroy a radical feminist visionary, how perfectly patriarchal of them. All they know how to place is the men’s game apparently, and straight women are joining the chorus, telling us lesbians that we are being bad for not allowing “transwomen” in lesbian spaces. Yeah, right, straight women are telling us what to do. Why don’t the transwomen just leave lesbians alone, and straight women can take care of these male beings. Or do they just feel lesbians have to do all the heavy lifting in society?

27. thebewilderness - January 11, 2010

I have a strong suspicion that Mary Daly was not Transphobic.
In fact, I don’t think she was one little bit scared of them.

28. SheilaG - January 12, 2010

Thanks thebwilderness, I think you are a powerful voice! I’m kind of in awe of your post.

29. blackcherryorchid - January 14, 2010

you obviously have something to gain by acting as if the propensity to rape is gender-neutral

Yeah, this is it right here. This is why trans-activism and feminism are opposed. This is why transactivists don’t even care about feminist causes. They completely deny the reality of male privilege (all of them claiming they never benefited from male privilege in any way, no sir). They completely deny rape culture.

I mean, the argument is straight out of the MRA trollbook: “Women rape too!”

But trans-activists are not feminists anyway, and most don’t claim to be unless they’re on a feminist blog trying to get some cred while they immediately commence criticizing feminism. They are anti-feminists and deny the most basic foundations of feminism, just like MRAs, fundies, etc.

The problem is the vast majority of “third wave” sex pozzies who are twisting themselves into knots to deny rape culture and male privilege on behalf of transwomen.

factcheckme - January 15, 2010

blackcherryorchid, i have asked the question several times here “how many transwomen were feminists BEFORE they transitioned?” not a single fucking one is my bet. its not even a guess, its a fucking bet. i bet a billion quid that its not a single. fucking. one. not one. transwomen are no more feminists than MRAs and fundies are feminists. they are the same. opposite sides of the same coin perhaps, but its all the same coin, and its built on essentialism, misogyny, male privilege, western privilege. anti-feminist ideals, every one. at least transmen were women once, and i am willing to believe that at least some of them were feminists. fun-fems no doubt, but still. transwomen only claimed feminist cred when they realized that the fems were the only political group that would even let them through the fucking door. and we’ve all been on the fast track to the utter demise of feminist thinking and “moving” ever since. the feminist “movement” is backwards, at the moment. we are literally moving in reverse.

30. SheilaG - January 15, 2010

I personally met one transwoman who said she was a feminist before she transitioned, but the thing that really struck me, is that none of the others I met seem to have much understanding of feminism at all. They also seemed to be in complete denial that there was male supremacy to begin with, and wouldn’t even pay attention to feminism.

Again, I don’t think previously male people see women. They see the male image of women that they aspire to, but they aren’t raised to be women. It still seems like a kind of fettish to me.

I do agree that feminism is going backward, and that women have to spend way too much time defending themselves against aggressive and clueless MTFs. Remember, men got into a rage that lasts for decades if you ban them from classrooms, women’s groups and festivals. Men are still fuming over Mary Daly keeping the men out of her feminist classes at Boston College. They fail to see the irony that the entire Catholic church permanently kept women out of power positions, but just keep men from one little itty bitty classroom, and they’ll rage endlessly.

MTFs are being told, get the heck out of lesbian space, get the heck out of radical feminism, and they don’t like this. Women telling me NO shocking!

factcheckme - January 15, 2010

sheila, call me crazy, but if any man told me they were a feminist i would laugh in their fucking face. oh really, i would say. so, as a male feminist, your number one priority in both your personal and political life is to LOSE YOUR POWER? really? your NUMBER ONE MOST CHERISHED IDEAL AND SOUGHT AFTER GOAL is to lessen your own chances to succeed in life? REALLY? not.

pro-feminist is hard enough to swallow. feminist? never.

31. SheilaG - January 16, 2010

Well FCM, I can’t remember the last time any man told me he was a feminist. So it’s kind of a moot point. They don’t exist, and I think your point is exactly right. Although I advocate the end of patriarchy, I don’t believe men even have a clue about life to begin with. It is women who do or could have a clue, and that should be our focus.
It is the great difficulty to get beyond the patriarchal mind-bindings so women can bond with each other, learn to see the world together, and continue the work of creating deep intellectual freedom for women. That’s a step. The more time women waste on men, the less time they have to spend with each other, and it really is that simple.

32. polly - January 16, 2010

Again, I don’t think previously male people see women. They see the male image of women that they aspire to,

Absolutely spot on Sheila.

factcheckme - January 16, 2010

sheila, i dont really like spending time with women. i really dont. most people in general are so uttely clueless to begin with, and now even feminists have turned irrepairably stupid with this trans- and sex-positive shit. it is so unbearably painful. but the world you envision would probably make me change my mind, and i can certainly see the appeal in bonding with women who get it, and ignoring mens stupidity and even men altogether. you are speaking as a lesbian seperatist, and i see the appeal there, i really do. but as a straight woman and an introvert, i frankly dont know what my options are at this point. this is very new for me, as i have said, i am basically a recovering fun-fem. if i hadnt met my partner before this transition took place, i would probably just have a house full of cats by now and call it a day, as far as making new friendships goes. i cant stand stupidity, which kind of makes me a misanthrope by default.

33. polly - January 16, 2010

Aarggh FCM you are making me feel sorry for straight women! The joy of hanging around with lesbians (feminist or not) is they just don’t talk about men anyway, they’re not interested. So you’re kind of a separatist by default.

factcheckme - January 17, 2010

hmmm, interesting polly. i have said before that i was a lesbian seperatist in a straight womans body. i am sure that theres some sort of surgical remedy for my condition, should i desire to explore it further. on the upside, i am sure i could find a way to oppress myself with my own privileges, and the privileges of those even less privileged than i am.

or, i could just start hanging out with lesbians, as you seem to suggest.

34. ashleyspencer - January 17, 2010

i didn’t necessarily like women all that much either, because of the Eating Our Own thing i was constantly witnessing and experiencing. it really seemed like the kinder i was, the more i was rebuked and hated. seeing that in action is part of what brought me to feminism. it’s not normal for a people to hate themselves. then when i learned about stockholm syndrome and scapegoating, and all the tricks of the P, it made a lot more sense. allthough still pretty unpleasant nevertheless.

i like women more now that I’m older, and the women around me are less male-oriented. as women get older we become less and less valuable to heteropatriarchy, and so there is less incentive to be TOTPs.

35. SheilaG - January 18, 2010

FCM, I can understand what you are saying about being an introvert, and a former funfeminist. What I’ve come to realize as the years go by, is that there are two stages of lesbian feminism. The first stage is when you are in your early to late 20s, you have a lot of staight women feminist friends (real feminists not the fake 90s types), but then eventually they get married, have kids, and they don’t have time. Then you go through a largely lesbian phase, and have lesbian communities, but then somehow you begin to outgrow those too. In my 50s, I am discovering yet again the greatness of all women. Straight women’s children are now grown, their husbands have turned into couch potatos, and then suddenly, these women come out of hetero hybernation to reconnect with lesbians and other non-lesbians. The 50-something women I’m meeting everywhere are truly smart, accomplished and deeply loving. But, again, I am an extreme extrovert, love to make new friends, love intellectual talks, and have an uncommon devotion and attachment to women easily… I can be easily charmed and delighted.

Now that the lesbian movement/feminist movement has become so well known, I am not such an odd duck to straight women any more. Most don’t go into homophobic shock when they meet me, I am more socially adept than my younger aspurgish dull self, and when you’re older, I just think hetero women kind of calm down a bit. They are over the boy crazy stage, unless they have been dumped by a long time husband for a younger model, then they kind of revert to boy crazy again. So I avoid those types.

Older women recreate a kind of separatism, a kind of fun in life, and a greater ease with lesbian feminist me. They still get a bit nervous, I don’t get them a lot of times since I have spent a lifetime studying, reading, traveling and working at a long term profession. If you raise children, you simply will fall behind in a lot of demanding aspects of the life of the mind, or you might not be quite as good at serious discussion. Straight women get a bit antsy over focused subjects that require detailed analysis. I’m not picking on straight women here, it’s just that intellectual discussions can easily overwhelm them a lot of times, unless they are in an information field like journalism, academic study, the hard sciences etc.

I believe as older women we can once again come together in women’s separatism, where we learn to love each other, spoil each other, and pay careful attention. Hetero women who have been married to men for ages, get starved for attention and for “girlfriends” as one 75 year old straight woman told me recently. Wistfully she sometimes says, “It must have been such a wonderful life to be a lesbian separatist all those years.” This little comment about floored me. But I had to smile, with a hint of a tear in my eye, and said, “It has been one of the best more intellectually adventurous lives believe me, I wouldn’t trade it for all the hetero privilege in China.” And it’s the truth.

Sometimes FCM, you’ll find the smart women all over the place. The more you look, the more you find them. Introvert is a hard one to overcome, however.

36. Polly - June 3, 2010

Oh FCM, someone just sent me this link.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100602/ap_on_re_us/us_john_mark_karr

But you know, this person is a WOMAN!

factcheckme - June 3, 2010

omg polly. this guy is a nut. i didnt know he was “living as a woman.” but from the allegations that hes trying to form a sex cult of little girls to rape on demand…well it seems to me hes still “living” very much as a man.


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