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Psychotherapy. It’s Porn-Tastic! On MacKinnon’s “Sex, Lies and Psychotherapy” October 31, 2010

Posted by FCM in books!, health, porn, rape.
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this essay from catharine mackinnon’s “womens lives, mens laws” addresses how pornified medicine and psychotherapy/psychiatry really are, and how female patients with histories of sexual trauma are treated by male doctors.  namely, womens stories of having been sexually abused, molested, and raped give male doctors boners, and anything that gives men boners is both good, and not real, at the same time.  sound familiar?  male doctors are also known to go out of their way to mansplain to everyone around them how sex, violence and rape are completely different.  and how nothing thats violent can be sexual too, and nothing men percieve as sexual can possibly be violent, even where male violence directly targets womens breasts and genitals.  now thats good mansplaining!

in another essay, mackinnon (a lawyer and law professor) mentions how the legal standard for what is “obscene” and therefore illegal sexually-themed material must both appeal to the “prurient interest” (aka.  it induces boners) and be “patently offensive” at the same time.  otherwise its just, you know, perfectly legal porn.  and theres nothing wrong with porn, right?  right?

well…only the very obvious problem that if any “questionable” material thought to be obscene is ever taken in front of a court of law to determine whether it is or isnt, and the material gives men boners, in order to make the material illegally obscene, they must also acknowledge that whats making them hard is also patently offending them, at the same time.  and they never will.  because if it gives them boners, its generally good.  and if it is just obviously patently offensive, at the same time, so much so that they might actually be embarrassed to be sporting wood at such a disgusting display, a strategically-placed notebook (or a lie) can easily hide the evidence that its also very much appealing to their prurient interest, too.  thus, we have all kinds of boner-inducing, patently-offensive material widely available to just about anyone, at any time, and noone is willing to name it.  material thats so vile, violent, and offensive, and without any redeeming value at all, that it should be illegal, and would be, except that men are fucking liars and literally cannot tell the truth about obscenity, and what it is, and how it affects them.  this is what we know as porn.

oh, and its extremely likely that doctors and psychiatrists use porn, as described above, and they always have.  enjoy!

Comments

1. factcheckme - October 31, 2010

ok had some technical difficulties with this one. its done now. enjoy!

2. FAB Libber - October 31, 2010

The Stoltenberg quote is a classic summation.

What MacKinnon describes is the Echo Chamber, or endless feedback loop – with each cycle increasing and magnifying the subsequent; a feedback loop that is in fact a spiral.

The reality that medical texts, court transcripts and porn are all part of the same streams of lies is a truth that women everywhere have to live with.

A comment that Polly made the other day with regard to “Court Porn”, she labelled the public release of horrific rape/murder evidence as “real life murder-violence porn”
http://toomuchtosayformyself.com/2010/10/20/too-much-information/#comment-5908

I guess it has to be the logical conclusion of this feedback spiral. We have seen it in porn where it gets worse and worse in order to remain boner-inducing. Make believe is not enough in the end, actual ‘case studies’, detailed news articles and court transcripts are made public for that additional boner-factor – this all happened for real to a real live woman, not just the ‘pretend’ of porn films – in other words, the sexual sadism is 100% real. So the voyeur is assured of the sadistic authenticity.

The only place to go after this cycle has played out is the legally sanctioned (no legal punishment in most cases is a form of sanction), torture and murder of girls and women by the Average Joe.

This already happens with rape. The fact that most rape trials do NOT end with a conviction. Where a conviction is successful, this is usually more to do with a dude breaching the Bro Code of hierarchy (he was uppity, he raped the property of a dude higher up the food chain) than with the actual events that happened to the female victim. This same principle is seen during the Sutcliffe investigation, the police only saw Sutcliffe’s actions ‘a problem’ when he switched to ‘normal women’ (meaning non-prostitutes). Joan Smith wrote about that in her book Misogynies.

3. Sargassosea - October 31, 2010

Like good ‘ol Justice Stewart coming up with his learned, august (slimy) “I know it when I see it.” threshold of obscenity crap. How convenient for YOU and your fellow rapists.

Justice Stewart either a) never ever had a boner, b) never ever experienced any pornography or c) thought that there is nothing whatsoever wrong with sexually abusing women and girls for fun and profit! And boners!

Looove MacKinnon. I haven’t even begun to read all of her stuff, so thanks a Halloween candy-ton for sharing this, FCM

factcheckme - October 31, 2010

yes, i read that thread and comments a few days ago FAB libber. before that, i really hadnt considered that people use these things as porn…the example polly gave about convicts using their victims testimony and “impact statements” as porn an passing them around the prison was fucking shocking. i was kind of surprisd at myself for not suspecting that the whole time actually, but there you go. men are even more disgusting than even a misandrist cynical bitch like myself can even imagine, on most days.

and YES about the echo chamber/feedback loop. this is womens reality: mens disgusting behaviors and crimes against us normalized, their beliefs about us validated, and their expecations about us fulfilled…and around it goes. one dead white guy thought something, and taught it to others as if it were fact (FACT!) and its still being taught today, and PRACTICED on the bodies and minds of girls and women. none of this is based in reality, and it if werent happening in real time to real girls and women, i would say its not even real, at all. but it is real. its a fucking waking nightmare, is what it is.

i know someone is going to show up here to defend the “modern” profession, but the fact remains that its rooted in some of the sickest fucking shit you will ever hear. and if they havent PUBLICALLY acknowledged this, and publically and transparently disavowed it, and started from a neutral scratch (as if that were even possible! its not), then there is simply no reason to believe that anything has changed, in any real way.

4. girl - October 31, 2010

this is so fantastic. it reminds me of the ‘is rape/dv/etc a hate crime against women?’ question, and this post has definitely given me even more reason to think yes, it definitely is.

i was talking to my gay male friend (who fervently believes that gay men are the most oppressed people ever and thinks ‘bitch’ is up to gay men to reclaim because it’s used against them so often, what a fucking joke) about the problems with juries and i used the lack of convictions at rape trials as an example and he said that prosecuters should just only pick women to be jurors then and i was like “no, women are harder on other women because they have to rationalize the actions of the raped women to assure themselves it will never happen to them. like ‘she was drunk, she deserved it, etc’ because women have to live with the fear of being raped all the time no matter what.” and he just looked at me like oh. and it was so obvious that he’d never even considered that before. it never ceases to amaze me how little men really understand what we have to deal with and how much they honestly think we enjoy or are ok with because they enjoy or are ok with it.

5. Clare - November 1, 2010

If there were any decency in this world, Catherine Mackinnon would be a Supreme Court Justice. She deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for her contributions to human rights.

6. SheilaG - November 1, 2010

Great post!
Freud was much more complicite in changing his theories. When he was a doctor in Vienna, he was actually shocked at the number of children sexually abused by men, and the number of women sexually traumatized by men. He feared for his professional career if he exposed this to the light of day, so he willfully chose to ignore all evidence to the contrary to come up with that stupid aedipus complex.

Jeffrey Masson wrote about this, I think in Mother Jones in 1985, and as a result he was booted out of his post as curator of the Freud archives. Masson btw is the husband of Catherine MacKinnon.

So these men knew the truth, but were too cowardly to go forward with it. Kind of like the catholic priesthood, and every bishop in the United States had clergy sex scandals on its hands. They were warned by other honest priests who said this was a ticking time bomb. So men in power know all about the rape of girls, they know all about sexual abuse, and they just choose to do nothing about it.

Either that or they mystify it as “all in women’s minds” or call it “fantasy.” The truth is, men know women hate a lot of stuff and deliberately do it anyway. They are well aware of the embarrassment and discomfort women feel being forced to do things against their will. More examples later if you’re interested.

factcheckme - November 1, 2010

an anti-porn radical feminist on the supreme court…just, wow. can you imagine?

7. Let'sGetReal - November 1, 2010

Modern psychotherapy may be different in some ways today, but there are still the following problems that are no different. Professionals do not want to make waves since it can jeopardize their careers. They must remain “objective” and keep a “professional distance.” They can’t say, “go after the fuckers and sue them” or anything more aggressive/negative. They probably also won’t say, “you never again have to endure PIV.” That would go against the “standard of practice.” Instead they have standard ways of treating “problems” that patients bring to them. So, these women end up talking about something, trying to “cure” something in themselves that is fundamentally a societal problem. It can never be cured in a person, only in a culture.

My guess is that sexual abuse and rape could only be truly helped if women were safe. This might only be done by women banding together in very large, well-guarded communities.

I used to think how ethnic and racial minorities always had the theoretical option of moving to a country where they were in the majority. While colonialism would still be a factor, at least they would be around others like them. For women, that is never the case. If they started a women’s nation with borders, guards, and security, I’d be the first to emigrate. In such a state, women might be able to recover from the sexual abuse/rape that they endured in cultures (all existing so-called civilized cultures) where each woman is assigned a jailer. Some jailers are nice, some cruel, but they are still jailers, even if they’d choose not to be jailers if they lived in a just world. In the cultural setup, that’s how it is.

8. Let'sGetReal - November 1, 2010

I meant that the EFFECTS of sexual abuse and rape could never be alleviated unless women had access to an extensive, very safe women-only space/nation.

9. delphyne - November 1, 2010

The reason why men don’t do anything about the rape and abuse of women and girls is because they themselves are probably doing it as well. They could hardly start punishing other men for crimes they themselves want to get away with. Fox in charge of the hen house time. Look at pope ratzinger – there’s a man with crimes written on his face. He looks frankly evil.

I’m sure in nine out of ten cases when you see a judge giving a free pass to a rapist, he’s probably a rapist himself. Same with Freud – created a theory that little girls secretly want to be raped by their fathers – he sounds like every paedophile that ever existed.

factcheckme - November 1, 2010

Delphyne, yes, I believe that to be the case. Absolutely. It also explains why there are so many debates online about what constitutes rape, and about “consent.” Because we have rapists who don’t care about women and girls at all, or who simply care about themselves more, and who don’t want to go to jail for rape, talking about rape.

10. girl - November 1, 2010

“So, these women end up talking about something, trying to “cure” something in themselves that is fundamentally a societal problem. It can never be cured in a person, only in a culture.”

this is so spot on, Let’sGetReal.

11. sonia - November 2, 2010

“I’m sure in nine out of ten cases when you see a judge giving a free pass to a rapist, he’s probably a rapist himself.”

This is so true.

Why it’s so inconceivable to most women that men have set up a system to help each other abuse women is beyond me. It’s so fucking obvious.

Yes, it’s a giant conspiracy to fuck you over. Welcome to the world, baby girl.

12. SheilaG - November 2, 2010

This is why all these personal “cures” are a complete and utter waste of time. It has nothing to do with a person, and everything to do with a culture that creates these woman hating beliefs about women– don’t ever give men medical schools again I say!

13. Mary Sunshine - November 4, 2010

This might only be done by women banding together in very large, well-guarded communities.

Exactly.

Except, change “might” to “can”.

14. factcheckme - November 5, 2010

believe it or not, this essay was one of the shorter ones in mackinnons “womens lives, mens laws” collection. but i thought it followed nicely from the convo on the “mansplaining porn” thread. its all about normalizing mens experience of the world. and “experience” is something i am thinking alot about lately, as i am thinking through this sex-pozzie POMO double think garbage thats invaded feminist discourse these last 10 years. regarding psychotherapy, mental illness, and sexual abuse….mens experience (as the perpetrators) is normalized, while anything that falls outside those (male perpetrator) lines is “unbelievable!” “unreal!” “i cant believe it!” theres a disconnect there, between whats real (as in, it actually happened, and happens with some regularity) and whats normalized, and based on the male model. why else would everyone say “unbelievable!” when they are talking about something that actually happened?

womens lives need a trigger warning.

http://evebitfirst.wordpress.com/2010/10/07/a-rant/

15. joy - November 5, 2010

“mens experience (as the perpetrators) is normalized, while anything that falls outside those (male perpetrator) lines is “unbelievable!””

-TRIGGER WARNING-

I went to get my musical instrument back from my ex-boyfriend’s house the other day. I was just supposed to stop in for ten minutes and then leave. One of their girlfriends was there and everything. But while I was there, they slipped me LSD (I think; one of them slipped up and hinted at it later, now I’ll never know for sure if they did or not).

Regardless, I woke up six hours later covered in bruises, alone in one of their bedrooms, with no memory of what had happened, crying and screaming because I thought I’d been buried alive. I had somehow fallen and sustained a concussion, and they left me there, drugged and with a head injury, which everyone knows is the same as leaving me for dead. I left and took my musical instrument with me.

They called me eighteen hours later. Not to ask if I was okay. Not to say they were sorry. To scream at me for taking the instrument. MY instrument, that they had stolen from me, after raping me, six months ago.

I told them they had raped me. Then I told them they had left me for dead. They told me I was crazy and making it up, even after -they had done it to me.- I think they really believe I made it up, even though I have the injuries and the doctors’ reports to prove that it really happened.

Men do the unbelievable and then claim that they don’t believe it. Like it’s normal to do that to someone else (rape them, drug them, kill them, rape them drug them and kill them or leave them for dead — which is almost even a little more insulting than committing outright murder). Totally normal. Why don’t we women get with the program and figure that out? Geez. Boys will be boys.

(PS: I know I am a dumb cunt and lost my cred for going over there without a gun or something. But I got my instrument back — which is the only reason I went there at all, I didn’t die, and I can’t remember what exactly they did to me. So now, case closed, experience provided for example purposes.)

-/TRIGGER-

The “rant” is very appropriate and I appreciate it very much today.

I’m not crazy. Women who get raped and say they don’t want to be raped any more aren’t crazy. Women who say the system is stacked against us aren’t crazy.

Men should die. And medicine needs to be taken back by women. The fucking assholes don’t know the first thing about what they’re doing. Take me to a midwife/’witch’ any day.

The end.

16. FAB Libber - November 5, 2010

But while I was there, they slipped me LSD (I think; one of them slipped up and hinted at it later, now I’ll never know for sure if they did or not).

I doubt it would be LSD, the no-memory thing sounds like one of the common “date rape drugs”.

With LSD you would be conscious, likely with bizarre memories that may or may not have seemed logical at the time. It also kicks in fairly gradually. It also takes a long time to leave your system (“coming down”) and there are physical as well as pyschological effects during this phase.

With date rape drugs, you would quickly feel disorientated, and have patchy or no memories of what transpired. You would likely lose consciousness or be near it at some point, depending on dosage.

I was slipped one in a pub once (by guys I was not even with or known to me). Luckily for me, they didn’t give me a strong dose so I woke up and got out quickly before anything happened. I have one very brief memory of walking back with them to their flat, although I cannot recall a decision to do so. The only other memory is waking up in their flat. Because of the disorientation, I could not recall exactly where this flat was, what they looked like, and I have an excellent sense of direction. I don’t even know when they slipped it in my drink.

17. FemmeForever - November 5, 2010

Joy,

I am so so sorry that happened to you. I am enraged right now. “Men should die” is right. Please take care of yourself and get all the medical attention and emotional support you need. Hugs.

18. thebewilderness - November 5, 2010

No, you don’t lose your cred nor are you a dumb c word for doing something as simple and reasonable as to fail to recognize sociopaths. They don’t wear signs and they impersonate humans with ease.

I think they call that group of drugs “roofies”. Some can be made at home from cleaning solvents.

I am so sorry they did this to you.
If you know you aren’t safe going to the cops and you aren’t near enough for us all to come there and egg them and their house, I hope you will plaster the neighborhood with flyers identifying them as roofie rapists so that other women will not fall into their fell clutches.

19. FAB Libber - November 5, 2010

Joy’s experience trying to collect her instrument is typical of the day-to-day hazards that females have to deal with, and be aware of, at all times. Such a simple task, turned into a dangerous event.

After a few decades, you will get the hang of it, and learn not to trust any male, any situation, and be prepared for the worst.

For example, I do not have males in my house. Last weekend, a problem with the telephone lines required BT to test the various points between the exchange and my house. The BT engineer was at my door, and wanted to also look at the main point in the hall. I kept the front door open the entire time – it was not something I decided to do, and did not even realise why I did it until afterwards. It becomes second-nature, not to trust males, not to be alone with them. Any ‘innocent’ situation can quickly turn into a bad one.

20. sonia - November 5, 2010

joy-

I think what you had was ketamine. that sounds exactly like it.

I’m really sorry. Do you have someone you can talk to?

factcheckme - November 5, 2010

ditto the above comments. joy, only people who subscribe to a belief that the world is FAIR AND JUST would ever assume that a woman who was raped did anything wrong. as in, you did something wrong, THEREFORE something bad happened to you. i dont think many (any?) people here, myself included, believe the world operates that way. this is because radical feminists know that BEING FEMALE is a risk factor for many, many things. get it? BE-ING. FEMALE. not DO-ING.

i have mentioned this before, and i cant remember what its called (anyone?) but theres a theory that many people subscribe to, where if nothing bad ever happens to them, or if only or mostly good things happen to them, its BECAUSE they did everything right. (actually, it might just be straight-up narcissism. i mean come on. not everything is about you!). these same people also believe that if something bad happens to someone else, that THAT PERSON must’ve done something wrong. its a defensive posture, meant to insulate the thinker from the harsh realities of the world: that almost nothing is under your control, and bad things happen, and people do bad things. of course, if you think this way when bad things happen to other people, you also think the same thing when something bad happens to you. you blame yourself, and start thinking about what you couldve done to prevent it.

but the thing is, it wasnt true when you were thinking it about other people, and its not true when it happens to you. its ALSO not true that if nothing bad happens, you did something right. it means you were LUCKY. thats all. because the truth of the matter is, as FAB libber described, its NEVER safe to be alone with a man, ever. but sometimes we have to be. many MANY girls and women are or have been alone with their fathers or brothers at some point for example. and for many MANY women and girls, this is where their rapes happened. the only real problem here is that all men are dangeorous, all the time, IF YOU ARE FEMALE. and thats not anything that any of us can change. and sometimes we have to be alone with them. thats just the way it is.

and dont forget that men rape women in broad fucking daylight, in public places, and in front of other people too. again: you cant change this. any of it. i wish it were different, but its not.

21. FAB Libber - November 6, 2010

I will add that certain situations carry far more risk than others. The biggie is meeting up with your ex. You weren’t to know this then – but you do now. Make sure any meetings with future ex’s that you bring your own back-up.

You mentioned another female in the house with them, unfortunately, a female unknown to you may not necessarily come to your aid (because in the back of her mind is that what they have planned for you will happen to her, if she does not comply).

This type of thinking does not mean that I go around being paranoid minute by minute, but I do have active risk assessment constantly playing in my head, and it is also second nature after so many years.

factcheckme - November 6, 2010

yes, meeting with your ex is a bad one. so is trying to break up with your current partner. so is being in a het relationship at all. so is having a father. the bottom line is that men are dangerous isnt it? BE-ING. FEMALE. not DO-ING.

i would also add that its usually extremely privileged (or religious) people who believe that “good things happen to good people.” thats because good things are always happening to them (or for the religious peeps, they are forever REACHING to find the “silver lining” and thereby making bad things seem good, or potentially good, or invisibly good) AND they *believe* themselves to be good people. even when they arent. being born healthy is a big one, and it makes it very easy to believe that everything after that naturally flows from your own “goodness” or “good choices” when in reality, just being born able-bodied and able-minded is a huge benefit over which you had no control, at all. they should thank their parents, or god or whatever. but noone ever does. they think that if they were able to “make something of themselves” or have a successful career or lift themselves up by their bootstraps or whatever, that it was because they were hard workers, and didnt have anything to do with the fact that they were RANDOMLY LUCKY for being physically able to even work. and thats on top of all the other RANDOM LUCK that privileged people have. like fucking hugh hefners latest vodka commercial, saying “all” he started with was a $1000 “loan from mom.” oh really hef? nice minimizing of your own damn LUCK to be born a healthy white male to a relatively well-off family. and whose mother had a $1000 to loan to anyone 60 years ago or whatever? damn. thats a LOT of money, for any woman to have, 60 years ago or now. especially a woman who has children, and especially a woman who has disgusting, entitled mooching male children who would even accept CASH from mom as an adult. i mean really. thats her retirement money, let her keep it! and AS IF thats the only thing she ever gave him! what a fucking joke.

anyway, my point is that 1) everyone thinks themselves to be “good people” even when they arent, and 2) LUCKY people blame other people for being UNLUCKY and 3) men are dangeorus.

22. FAB Libber - November 6, 2010

yes, meeting with your ex is a bad one. so is trying to break up with your current partner. so is being in a het relationship at all. so is having a father. the bottom line is that men are dangerous isnt it? BE-ING. FEMALE. not DO-ING.

Not sure if my point was clear enough. I was talking about some situations being more inherently dangerous to females than others. BUT, females are conditioned not to see the dangers or potential danger.

At the top of my risk assessment are:
1) don’t be alone with a male
2) don’t be alone/outnumbered in a group of males

A bit of a common theme there, which agrees with FCM’s “men are dangerous” statement.😀

Some situations you cannot do anything about, like if you are born/raised in a family where there a male predators about (that also agrees with FCM’s “luck” statement). Luckily for me, I only had to worry about male cousins, one near-miss attempted rape in particular – but I definitely made sure I was NEVER alone with him after that. At the time I was staying at their house every weekend, so active avoidance was a strategy.

Some situations you just don’t expect to be dangerous. Like just going out for the evening with a male friend. Trust me when I say, you can never fully trust them, ever.

All of these dangerous situations were set up by the patriarchy, to put females in harm’s way. Unfortunately, females are also taught to “trust” these situations (primarily home, whether as a child or adult). And sadly, most females only discover this truth after it is too late. Many will refuse to believe the reality unless it does happen to them (again, luck).

I am not trying to blame victims, quite the opposite, they have been duped. They are not aware of the true risk assessment. Remember too that the general risk assessment is for males, the “default human”. Most of these situations are not that dangerous for males. If you are female, the risk is horrendously higher. And the main risk is usually rape, but can include other harm (robbery, beating, death, porn pictures taken of you).

Getting back to patriarchy deliberately putting females in harm’s way – this is really the main mechanism for controlling females. These situations are engineered, and with the risk remaining hidden, then there are a lot more opportunities to inflict violence upon females. Which in turn still has the effect of controlling females who are aware of these risks, like not having full freedom to do what they want (eg camping in the woods alone). Even separatists are affected, because there are men out there *somewhere*, and this is where you just have to rely purely on luck, as you have removed all of the risk factors that are within your control.

The message really is that you can never really trust any male not to be a rapist (odds are higher that he is rather than isn’t). You won’t know which category he falls into until he either rapes or attempts to rape you, by which time, it may be too late and it will only be luck that you get out of it.

Assume the worst, hope for the best.

23. joy - November 15, 2010

Sorry for not writing back sooner.

The reason for my memory lapse was the concussion. I’m pretty sure. I had a concussion in public, my ex touched me, I had a rape flashback, they thought I must have taken acid because why else would I not want my ex to touch me?!

If it had been up to me, we would have gone to the hospital right then. But they took me home and put me to bed instead.

“After a few decades, you will get the hang of it, and learn not to trust any male, any situation, and be prepared for the worst.”

The reason I blame myself is that I’M ALREADY LIKE THAT.

I didn’t trust him. I would have left the door open, but we were in Bushwick, Brooklyn. It’s a fucking ghetto. Sorry.

But even not trusting him, I assumed that the worst he would do was yell at and belittle me. We were technically doing all right until the concussion, it was everything after that.

24. joy - November 15, 2010

“You mentioned another female in the house with them, unfortunately, a female unknown to you may not necessarily come to your aid (because in the back of her mind is that what they have planned for you will happen to her, if she does not comply).”

No shit. I already knew that about her. We were supposed to go in, get my shit, go out, and then I hit my head and the game totally changed.

“I am not trying to blame victims, quite the opposite, they have been duped. They are not aware of the true risk assessment.”

I deeply resent being called a dupe. Look, I know this was my fucking fault. I wanted my instrument back. I should have taken a fucking flamethrower, but I didn’t.

25. FAB Libber - November 16, 2010

“I am not trying to blame victims, quite the opposite, they have been duped. They are not aware of the true risk assessment.”

I deeply resent being called a dupe. Look, I know this was my fucking fault. I wanted my instrument back. I should have taken a fucking flamethrower, but I didn’t.

Joy, please re-read my entire comment. You have gotten 180 degrees the wrong message. Good grief, you even highlighted the bit where I said I was NOT trying to blame victims, they have been given misinformation as to what situations are dangerous, and what are not.

Here is a clear illustration – women are taught that strangers are the big rape danger. They are not. The biggest rape danger comes from men that they know. This is what I mean – misinformation.

factcheckme - November 16, 2010

i think the point was that joy knew that men she knows are her greatest threat, and she went over there anyway, because she had to. she performed an adequate risk assessment based on the facts, but didnt think the violence would escalate the way it did, on that day. and a head injury will turn the tables, always.

this is an important point actually. this is one thing i will never forgive feministe for, with thier fucking “hitchhiking is FUNNNN!!!11!!” article. i was taking on the fun fems singlehandedly, reminding them about male violence (DUH!!) and positing that NO, actually, hitchhiking is fucking dangerous, because men are dangerous. one of the fun-fems told me that i was “beating her about the head and neck” with my manhatin’ and slut-shamin’. i thought it was an extremely interesting choice of words on her part, as a head injury makes you an extremely easy target, and immediately takes all your power away. and all the while, her protesting that what I WAS SAYING to her was violent and LIKE a head injury…when in reality, if anyone was going to give anyone a head injury, it was going to be a man, and a female hitchhiker in a closed confined space over which he exercised full control would be the perfect target, and actually happens in EXACTLY THAT WAY every fucking day. men deliberately dole out head injuries all the time, to incapacitate their victims. what do we think getting punched in the face is all about? messing up our makeup? DUH! fucking fun fems.

26. joy - November 16, 2010

“i think the point was that joy knew that men she knows are her greatest threat, and she went over there anyway, because she had to. she performed an adequate risk assessment based on the facts, but didnt think the violence would escalate the way it did, on that day. and a head injury will turn the tables, always.”

Yeah, that was basically it. Sorry for miscommunicating.

There are two reasons I told this story here.

1. To illustrate the fact that men do insane, insane things to us all the time — and they have to know it’s insane (although, see point 2, coming up). But when we react to it, they call US insane.

If a woman gets raped or otherwise fucked up (beaten by a domestic partner or otherwise; left for another woman; swindled out of money; robbed of her home; whatever), she is expected to react in one of three ways:
a. Say, ‘Oh, well, this ONE man did this to me … but not ALL men will do this to me!’ and immediately get back on the PIV pony.
– Substitute, ‘He did this to me, but that’s okay!’ if perpetrator is her husband or a significant other.
b. Become appropriately sad and nobly broken, but not overtly insane — think Blanche DuBois in A Streetcar Named Desire. This serves a double duty of making her more rapeable! She should probably also wither away and die quietly, a la Zelda Fitzgerald, if she knows what’s good for her.
c. Turn to the aggressively fucked up, but make it sexxxayyy! Stripping and BDSM are not advocated as therapy by accident. ‘Suicide Girls’ are not popular by mistake. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo isn’t widely read because of the excellent plotting or dialogue.

If a woman picks d., in other words, closes down the PIV door and carries on with her own life, with any degree of separatist or radical feminist thought, the establishment frowns upon this.

Meanwhile, it stands to reason that options a. and c. especially are actually insane. (Option b is probably just incredibly self-destructive and counterproductive.) Options a. and c. fall into the realm of magical thinking, ie, doing the same thing over and over and over but expecting different results.

(cont’d)

27. joy - November 16, 2010

(For the record, I have not read the Girl With/Who series, but have heard that they are not onky grossly misogynist, they also have neither excellent plotting nor good dialogue. I’m a picky reader, I’m sure I’d agree.)

2. Men are extremely medically ignorant. We’ve already discussed elsewhere that men don’t even fucking know WHERE BABIES COME FROM.

They don’t know what qualifies sanity, nor what distinguishes it from insanity.

They don’t know that if you’re around someone who sustains a head injury, a.) it will cause her to act in unusual and irrational ways*, although she is not necessarily an irrational person, and b.) you should not take her back to your unfamiliar apartment, lock her in your dark bedroom, and leave her alone for x numbers of hours hoping she’ll ‘sleep it off’.

Most women, however, have at least a basic understanding of these concepts. Most women know at least a little bit of first aid (such as, elevate a cut, put ice on a swelling, check someone’s pupils if they hurt their head). This is not because, as men think, women are innate caregivers.

This is because women are used to cleaning up the fucking messes. Messes left, by and large, by men.

Injured female friend — probably caused by a man, raping or beating or impregnating or abandoning or medically malpracticing her.

Injured child — probably an unwanted pregnancy caused by men in the first place.

Injured male — men are violent to each other and extremely stupid when it comes to their own wellbeing.

Women are used to shoveling the shit because otherwise we’d be standing in it up to our waists.

* sonia, I think my head injury is what made me act whacked. The reason I don’t remember anything is probably concussion amnesia. They could have snuck me some K in that hour or so that I don’t remember prior to the head injury, but it could have just been that I hit my head. And because they are medically (and otherwise) ignorant, they assumed that I was acting … well, like a concussion victim … because I’d done acid. Which is why they mentioned it to me — to make it all my fault and absolve themselves of responsibility.
Because why else would I be acting like that?! Hurr hurr hurr, la de dah dah dum. Fucking morons. I’m lucky I didn’t die.

28. joy - November 16, 2010

Ultimate point being: why do we even allow men to be doctors any more? They’ve been telling us ‘it’s all in our heads’ for years and years and years. Cutting off our clitorises. Raping us. Sterilizing us. And then telling us, when they’re done, that it’s still all in our heads.

Why do we still even trust them? It’s magical thinking again. They DO NOT know what is EVEN GOING ON. Ever. With anything. Full stop.

Plus, medical degrees are pretty much just signs of who was rich and probably white enough to afford expensive college. Capitalism is another institution of the white man. Why do we still trust it?

I wrote recently at ND’s that there isn’t even a WORD for women who know how to heal, other than ‘witch.’ And we all know what men do to ‘witches.’

They did this on purpose. They separated the Doctor from the Witch so that they could keep women powerless. Keep us in thrall to their know-nothing shit. A hospital is still a good place to go if you have a broken bone or serious wound, or you need sterile surgery, but we used to be able to do most other things ourselves. Or with the help of female practitioners. What are we so scared of? Being burned at the stake?

They can do that anyway. They do that even if you’re not a “witch.” We know this. Why do we keep toeing the bullshit party line?


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