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Announcing a New Blog: Men’s Search Terms May 28, 2013

Posted by FCM in meta, porn, WTF?.
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menssearchterms

from the “about” page:

Men’s search terms is a catalog of offensive search terms that real men have typed into their search engines, obviously hoping to find pornographic photos and videos of these things happening in real life.

In case anyone was in any way unclear about what lurks in men’s minds and psyches, or what their precious Nigels think about and hope other men are really doing to women and children (and animals, inanimate objects and even other men) so they can find it online and wank to it…we present the proof, in the men’s own words.

These search terms have been compiled by female bloggers, and represent search terms they found in the stats on their own blogs.  Trigger warning: men, and what they think about.

categories include:

this project is anticipated to last one month, and will be accepting submissions from known radfem bloggers.  click on the image above to visit men’s search terms.

Comments

1. lisaprime - May 30, 2013

This must be very ugly work and hard to do, even though the concept is brilliant. It might be fun to quote from some weaselmouth MRA site some of the hypocritical statements constantly made (like,”of course women are more than sex objects”, and “feminists are liars when we say they are regarded by men as not fully human”), and to alternate those statements with some of the search terms here. I’m reminded of that comic I think on the US show Saturday Night Live years back, who had a character called the Subliminal Man (“Would you like to have dinner?” then a swift whisper to himself: “hotsex”) The quotes are so shameful and hideous here I don’t know if any humor really is possible though. You do get the feeling you are looking down into a toxic sickening abyss, men’s minds when they’re not having to act civilized.

FCM - May 31, 2013

that exactly it isnt it? this is whats going on when they arent PRETENDING to be civilized, or something theyre not. this is men being honest. feminists have known for some time that this is what the internet has revealed, and its something thats been largely hidden from women when we werent allowed to read so we didnt know what they were writing about us, or know what they said about us bc we didnt share space with men in public or in private mens spaces. we didnt know the WHOLE truth about what they really were bc they deliberately hide it from us. prostituted women have always known of course.

2. mieprowan - June 1, 2013

I get “chastity punishment” on my blog a lot. They do not find what they were looking for.

3. SheilaG - June 1, 2013

“….prostituted women have always known of course.” -FCM

This seems to be the case FCM. I’ve often wondered what is going on with a lot of women, who seem to have no idea what men are like on their own without women around. We have all this evidense of what men actually do in the world on a daily basis. The millions of deaths, the wars, the non-stop rape, seeing so many women trying to raise children in poverty, while the men who fathered the children have disappeared. The porn magazine, and now this horrifying list of search items.

But what I have discovered in talking to prostituted women at length, is that almost all the johns were married.

4. SheilaG - June 1, 2013

Radical feminism simply asks these questions. What are men really thinking and doing in the world? What is real about them and their intentions? It’s why most women can’t even handle radical feminist reflections, the denial of what half the species is really doing to the world just can’t be discussed. I think this honest discussion of the dark evil these search terms highlight is evidense.

I use the internet all the time, but when I saw that list, I thought, “You’ve gotta be kidding?” Men want to see this stuff, and just them listing what they want to see is mind boggling in the extreme. This is what their inner lives are like, worse than the great garbage dumps imaginable. Do men talk to each other about this stuff? Probably online groups of men.

5. SheilaG - June 1, 2013

What horrifies me is the deep denial of the average woman out there. Just plain old white bread American women. Surely, they have much more knowledge of men then I do. I only see the public “suit and tie” face of men in the world, most women actually live with men, and raise sons. So either they aren’t talking about what’s going on behind closed doors, or they can’t see through the lies these men tell.

There was a woman I met awhile back. She was in love with some guy, and I suggested she take a look at the stuff stored up in his computer…. search terms, lists of previous searches etc. “You’ll be surprised to find out who he really is.” I was confident that the guy was a creep. I see this often, and watch the deep denial of the women marrying these guys or dating them. She was so shocked with the knowledge she gained from the computer search, and split up with the guy. I didn’t ask what she found; this kind of truth is too much even for me.

6. SheilaG - June 1, 2013

Prostitutes can report on who men really are. If all the prostitutes nationwide reported on all the men who bought them, and what those men did … there are prostitutes who report on the punters all the time, but there is the deep denial of so many women who haven’t ever heard about radical feminism. The one philosophy that puts the lives of women in the center, the one philosophy that does everything in its power to name the truth, to name the aggressors, to just tell it. But I have learned over the years, that even mild criticism of men gets hetero women very defensive. Even when I have said something rather ordinary, they pop up with, “Not all men are bad.” And this is when I am just making observations about what the average straight guy never ever does, and criticism of men as a generic class freaks women out. It’s as if the sex class, the colonized can’t even get its mind around this, much like I never imagined that men were using the search terms above. Never even knew such subjects existed. It is a continuum of knowledge about men that radical feminism tries to expose.

Radical feminism tries to tell the whole truth about what men are doing collectively, how their minds work, and just how evil they really are, no holds barred, no shutting down the convo with “but my man is good”–nope, radical feminism uncovered the heart of darkness, and men fear the day all women will wake up to this. It is why every force on earth tries to shut down radical feminism. Even radical islam gets more reporting on the news than what men do from a radical feminist point of view. Male violence worshiped, women’s reporting on males collectively, suppressed.

7. WordWoman - June 1, 2013

It used to be that many more women thought most nigels were not like this. A convenient thing for most nigels. Who could still have the “little woman” ignorant of it and cooking, cleaning, and popping out heirs to carry on the family name. Well, once in a while the “boys will be boys” thing clicked in.That, too, was seen as anomaly.But the internet has brought it to the fore, especially if you look at the amount of money being made on porn, or any statistics like that. Or individual incidents like the politicians that sexually harrass their constituents or tweet garbage stuff, etc. (It’s beyond comprehension how they could be such stupid weiners). It’s all there.

I must admit, reading the collection on the new blog is disgusting, ugly, depressing. These men are everywhere you go, if you think about it. While most women are looking for “good nigels” radfems look at reality. A good dose of reality is what is needed despite how ugly, disgusting, depressing it is.

Another advance in the annals of radfem thought.

PS, wasn’t online for that whole Witchcraze 3 post, but read it all yesterday. Brilliant!

FCM - June 1, 2013

sheilaG was shocked at the search terms? wow. guess we’ve hit on something here.

also, ive learned my lesson about embarking on long-term projects and this one has a short term of service. it *is* ugly, depressing, and all of that, and the thing you realize when you work on these things — examples of mens depravity, or examples of misgogyny in the media, or individual instances of any of the things we talk about — is that they are literally neverending. there is no bottom to mens depravity, there is no bottom to mens hatred of women, it goes on and on forever. and as we have discussed, the creativity of it ensures that we will never know the totality of the picture because they are all the time upping the ante and coming up with new and improved ways to torture women, new manifestations of their pathological violence. if anything, i fear that listing examples is too exclusionary because we are only a small handful of women and we only see a tiny handful of whats really out there. as long as the list could get, it would never show the whole truth so it might appear that its not as bad as it really is where the reality is that its infinite, its too big for anyone to manage or even to see or know about it all. this is what we are up against.

8. SheilaG - June 1, 2013

Bottomless in the depravity of men.

“While most women are looking for “good nigels” radfems look at reality. A good dose of reality is what is needed despite how ugly, disgusting, depressing it is.” WordWoman

I don’t think any of us can get to the bottom, or realize how far men have sunk. They’ve been fooling women for eons, but now, with Internet accounting systems and search words, we can document this.

Dworkin had to dive into the heart of darkness to write about porn.

9. SheilaG - June 1, 2013

Gail Dines had to do it as well to write “Pornland.” And one thing I’ve noticed, is that being in rooms with a lot of men in them seem toxic to me in new ways. I think collectively, the male mind has become as toxic as the earth is becoming. I am a very sensitive person, so I can really feel people’s thoughts, and see into things. It’s an odd skill, but over the last two years or so, my body is just repelled at the thought of dealing with male groups, or even listening to men talk at all for any length of time. They are worse than any of us could ever imagine, and the entire charade goes on endlessly with them.

Surely, this denial on the part of women, has something to do with women feeling they love men or their male children. I can’t imagine the horror of ever having sexual relations with men, and have always found them repulsive.

10. SheilaG - June 1, 2013

I’ve never felt attracted to porn of any kind, never had much interest in the sexual excesses of the age. Was never interested in drugs either, so it was hard to figure out what was up with heterosexuals male or female. I literally can’t imagine pornifying any human being in the way the above list did. It’s why it was shocking to read, because in some respects, although I deeply distrust men, and don’t want to ever be around them if I can help it, I don’t know what they are like in intimate situations, or what they subject women to sexually. The hetero women who comment here are in many ways on the front lines of being abused by these monsters in PIV-land.

What lesbians create in terms of porn doesn’t move me either. It is not at all how I feel the depth of love for lesbians.

11. SheilaG - June 1, 2013

I see men as disgusting horrifying bores of the suit and tie variety. I hear their sexist comments and their utter contempt for women, which they actually voice quite openly at business meetings etc. I get shocked at what they say IN PUBLIC for goddess sake, and I get shocked at how hetero women tune this out all the time, or say things like, “He didn’t mean it that way.” But I can tune out anything men say, so that’s why I have to be in spaces completely free of them. It’s why my home does not contain them. And with the miracle of online course study, I can learn more things, and not have to sit with men in classrooms anymore to get credentials I need. That was such a relief.

12. SheilaG - June 1, 2013

Prostituted women can tell you all about these suit and tie married men. One lengthy conversation I had with a friend who exited prostitution, was that the men get off on power, the power over the prostitute. She said, the sex was the easy part, what she hated the most was having to listen to them talk. They were all married, they were all pretty weird, and she was pretty sure the wives had no idea what their husbands were up to. So we have men buying thousands and thousands of women every day, we have this huge multi-billion dollar porn industry that fuels male degredation even further, we know men watch porn endlessly, and we know that young girls are being subjected to male demands for even more degrading sexual activity. We know radfems have a global communication system on the web, and that women everywhere can find even this blog. It must be the suppressed horror of women, or women knowing that they are trapped with children to feed, or trapped in really deadend jobs. Dependent on male earning power to have more material things. I can see that, but what must it mean for women who wake up to radfem consciousness? Knowing that they can’t possibly ever be with men again, knowing what they know? It’s one thing to find men repulsive in public settings, but what would it be like to have actually LOVED them? And that I just don’t know about.

FCM - June 1, 2013

also, i wouldnt recommend following the new blog bc there are going to be hundreds of posts within a short period of time. just browse the new posts every few days if you want to keep up, is my advice.

and thanks to all the bloggers who have contributed thus far. please keep the search terms coming and they will be posted as we can get to them. you can access all search terms from the day you opened until now from your dashboard by going to stats > search engine terms > summaries and then viewing by > all time, > year, > quarter, > 30 days etc. copy and paste the list into the submission form. its the most efficient and gives us the most material to work with, and you dont have to pick through them individually yourselves.

FCM - June 1, 2013

also, non-english submissions are welcome too, just include an english translation beneath. thanks!

FCM - June 1, 2013

and wordwoman: sorry you missed out on the last convo. you can comment on this thread if you like. 🙂

13. Sargasso Sea - June 1, 2013

This new project is horrifying, but not surprising😦 I’m glad to know that you’ve made it very short term.

Thanks for letting us know how to make submissions though – I’ve never had the inclination to look at the Radical Resolution search stats and I am pretty sure I never will…

But, wow, they sure do LOVE the idea of castrating one another don’t they?! Of course if women suggest such a thing (out of an interest in our own safety) it’s the end of the world – anything to get off but nothing for the well-being of women and girls.

14. Delphyne - June 1, 2013

We know radfems have a global communication system on the web, and that women everywhere can find even this blog. It must be the suppressed horror of women, or women knowing that they are trapped with children to feed, or trapped in really deadend jobs. Dependent on male earning power to have more material things. I can see that, but what must it mean for women who wake up to radfem consciousness? Knowing that they can’t possibly ever be with men again, knowing what they know? It’s one thing to find men repulsive in public settings, but what would it be like to have actually LOVED them? And that I just don’t know about.</blockquote)

I can tell you my experience with it. I'll work my way backwards in time – in January of this year, a FB friend mentioned GenderTrenders blogger, Gallus Mag, being shut out of her blog by WordPress. I had never heard of that blog or Gallus before, so I went over and read some of the entries from the archives and was absolutely stunned by the viciousness of the TG folks. From there, I checked on her sidebar for other blogs and found this one, CBL and a slew of others. After immersing myself in them for about a few weeks, the only thought I had was "OMG – I think I am a radical feminist." It was so strong that I started another blog (still a shell) called Medusa's Gaze with the header "one day I woke up and realized I was a radical feminist." I was actually shell shocked by what I was reading, but at this age, it was easier to handle than when I was in my late '30s and early '40s when I discovered feminism and earth based/goddess spirituality. At those ages and going through a divorce, I was afraid of imploding from the fury that I felt upon what I was beginning to discover.

Reading these blogs jogged my memory of the things I remembered but put in the "denial/I'll think about it later categories" of my brain. I remembered posting something by the Afghan Women's Writing group on FB – the short essay was by a young girl describing how she was unable to do anything because she was considered worthless. Another FB friend, a liberal PhD, "liked" it and then immediately commented that the men in her life were NOTHING like that and they all cherished, loved and respected her – there were several other women who commented the same way. I was taken aback by what I saw as a knee jerk reaction – "not all men are like that." I remembered ZBudapest being trashed in 2011/2012 for refusing a male trans into her blood mystery women only group – the liberal pagan crowd was horrible to her. I remembered the gay guy I went to beauty school with in '93 who wanted to transition – he was one of the most obnoxious males I have ever met. I remembered the 2008 primaries here in the US and the trashing of Hillary Clinton by pretty much all men and by so many liberal women who called themselves feminists. If one questioned whether Obama had the background to actually be POTUS, one was called a racist by the Obots – it was so cult like and I changed my voter's registration from Democrat to Indy. That same kind of thing is what I see with the trans folks – any questions and you're automatically "transphobic." I remembered my ex and saw his sleaziness, which I didn't really see or want to see during my marriage and divorce proceedings – from the distance in time, it was much easier than it was when I was stuck in that situation. I remembered my corporate career and dealing with the men in suits – amazing bunch of hypocrites: the born again top producer beat his wife; another top producer cheated on his wife; one of them had drawers full of porn – sexist misogynists, every last one of them. I can see that now, but working there and depending on my salary to support myself, I didn't have the courage to really see it and deal with it. In 1991, I was diagnosed with melanoma and things started to change. I realized that I was staying on the job for the health benefits, but staying there would have meant using those benefits – I was jeopardizing my health by staying on the job. So in 1993, I quit and went to beauty school, something I wanted to do as a kid, but was allowed because "only stupid girls went to beauty school." I was 43 years old and I was starting to wake up.

20 years later, I feel like I'm finally ready to really look at the mental and physical perversion of men. And I am so glad to have found this blog, GT and the other that now subscribe to, so I don't miss anything. Gallus said something to a woman who had just discovered radical feminism and who was shaken by her discoveries – Gallus posted a clip from They Live where the guy puts on special glasses and sees the aliens; she said that discovering radical feminism is like that. And for me, that is true. I understand why hetero women go into denial – the pain of the Truth is excruciating and often unbearable. I chose not to have children because I knew my marriage wasn't stable and wasn't ever going to be a single mother – and besides, I might never get rid of him. I also did not want to be a mother like my mother had been. And I also never wanted to have male children – I have 6 sisters and 1 brother and always thought that males were slightly off even though I absorbed much of the stereotype brainwashing. So I opted for dogs and birds.

SheilaG – thanks for posing that question and for your other comments. And, FCM, thank you for your blog – I appreciate it so much.

15. Delphyne - June 1, 2013

I see I messed up the block quote…sorry!

16. SheilaG - June 1, 2013

One wonders what new search terms will emerge from the minds of men, only the shadow knows…. Yikes, this could get worse!

FCM - June 1, 2013

yes men are absolutely obsessed with castrating themselves and each other. interestingly, i am currently reading elizabeth gould davis’s “the first sex” and she is talking about mens ancient penis-mutilation rituals…this has been around a long time. she is suggesting that men did this bc in order to “become men” they had to appropriate what came naturally to women, and also that the first humans were female and that defective, deficient men are merely emulating the first humans through ritual (as they would ancient heroes or gods) even though generations and millenia later they didnt remember exactly why. this reminded me of the cargo cult phenomenon we have discussed earlier — going through the motions hoping to achieve a result without understanding or caring that the context was important and not merely the “activities” as observed by an outsider. these are very preliminary observations about this book, i havent gotten very far with it yet. but men are all about the castration and penis mutilation. they have been doing this for a LONG time.

17. azahda - June 1, 2013

Yes, thanks for the website FCM, although I wish it wasn’t necessary. I haven’t looked at it myself yet, but I’ll try and work up the courage to look at it today. Just the examples you and other bloggers sometimes post make me sick.

But in talking about men’s depravity, I’ve come to the sad conclusion (after reading so many depressing news articles) that if you were to imagine the WORST possible thing that one person could do to another, a man has surely already done it to a woman or girl. And that it has likely happened more than once over the course of who-knows how many millenia worldwide. This website no doubt confirms that, as men in the past were even less policed than they are now. And that terrifies me, because I know my mind can’t even go that far- like when I read about that bull torture device made by a man about a year ago (and mentioned here). Creativity in torture is where men “outshine” women. In all other areas we outshine them. As for physical strength, well, about 10,000+ years being reproductively controlled by men would probably account for a lot of the discrepancy.

They are truly awful.

18. femmeforever - June 2, 2013

So either they aren’t talking about what’s going on behind closed doors, or they can’t see through the lies these men tell.

“Not all men are bad.” see above

the men in her life were NOTHING like that and they all cherished, loved and respected her

I refuse to believe there exists a woman anywhere that stupid. It’s impossible not to see it. What women do is see it and then refuse the information. They KNOW IT. They just won’t admit it out loud because that is a catastrophic realization. It means their entire lives have been a lie. That all the hard work, blood, sweat and tears have been for nothing. It’s too big for most women to admit to. I think it’s easier for those of us who have not invested so much in men. Have not based our lives on men, ever. If you have it means facing a wasted life. Most women are not willing to tell the truth about men because of what it says about themselves.

I was just having a conversation recently with a woman who told me all about her abusive drug addict husband who cheated on her (and intended to divorce) while she was undergoing chemo for cancer, gas-lighted her about it, and who later had her arrested for spousal abuse because she slapped him in the aftermath of finding out about his cheating. He called the cops. And told them where’d she’d be. She didn’t even know it was a crime so she admitted it to the cops and they promptly charged her with a felony that is still on her record. You know how she decribes him? He straightened his life out, told her he loved her, and they lived happily ever after in her mind. I said, all that stuff he did to you, that counts you know. It didn’t count to her. All that mattered is that he stayed.

19. femmeforever - June 2, 2013

Also there is something akin to accomplishment. It’s why women are so proud of how long their marriages/relationships have lasted. They did it. They stuck it out.They took all the crap and are still standing.They made it work. They fixed him.

20. GallusMag - June 2, 2013

Wow Delphyne- your post made me so happy. Thank you.

21. GallusMag - June 2, 2013

I came here to play w FCM and ended up seeing Delphyne’s awesome post. wow. So pleased.

22. Greywing - June 2, 2013

Do men talk to each other about this stuff?

Oh yes. And not just online. They talk about it around women too, and not just prostitutes either. Any woman they aren’t concerned about grooming for piv, or don’t respect as another man’s property. They relish debating the details and finer nuances of this stuff. And they live for having other men validating their turn-ons. And any woman simply bearing witness to them talking about their turn-ons makes it better. If she reacts positively, well, that’s obviously a win, if she doesn’t react at all or remains neutral, that validates it’s just a normal, healthy part of their sexuality and if she reacts with outrage or horror that reinforces the taboo and makes it more enticing and exciting.

But yes, they talk to each other. It’s crucial not just for sharing practical tips and expanding their creative reportoire, but to validate each other as men. Men constantly worry that their turn ons might mean they aren’t “real men,” in particular if it’s gender-norm transgressing stuff. (But remember, it starts in childhood with girls having “cooties.” For males, just being attracted to something as lowly as females is a threat to manhood in itself.) And not being a real man is the greatest horror, because it is to be not-man, is to be like a woman, a non-human, a thing without human worth. They cannot imagine living in such a state, so they relish getting the opportunity to bounce their stuff off of other men to make sure their value as men remains intact.

23. SheilaG - June 2, 2013

FemmeForever says:
“It’s impossible not to see it. What women do is see it and then refuse the information. They KNOW IT. They just won’t admit it out loud because that is a catastrophic realization. It means their entire lives have been a lie. That all the hard work, blood, sweat and tears have been for nothing.”

This makes a lot of sense to me FemmeForever. The big lie feeling might come later in life.

24. SheilaG - June 2, 2013

“I think it’s easier for those of us who have not invested so much in men. Have not based our lives on men, ever. If you have it means facing a wasted life. Most women are not willing to tell the truth about men because of what it says about themselves.” FemmeForever

This recognition that your life was wasted, especially in youth on men, could be very painful. This explains the deep denial, or the my Nigel is different, when the Nigel in question clearly is an idiot I have to work with at the office. What it says about women themselves.

I didn’t waste time on men or boys, I had other things to do in life. So this sense of loss just isn’t there for me. And there was a certain satisfaction in being lesbian, and in helping to get the movement for lesbian freedom, our presses, our words out in the world.

25. SheilaG - June 2, 2013

I just found men and boys horrors, even when I was a kid, I had a deep distrust of them, a kind of boredom over their mindless worlds. And the heteronormative conditioning just didn’t work at all for me, because I was focused on doing things I wanted to do.

I saw children as a huge wealth time drain on women, didn’t want it. I figured for years that women got something from these men behind closed doors, so they stuck with it. It could be social acceptance itself is a kind of drug the patriarchy doles out to certain types of women–the whole romance, engagement ring, wedding cake thing that even hooks lesbians in this idiot age of same – sex marriage mania.

Here’s hoping that this exposure of the true minds of men on internet search engines will help wake more women up to who men really are!! Before it is too late, before women waste a couple of decades in PIV land–losing ground in building strong self and a radical feminist dream.

26. Nadege - June 2, 2013

FCM,

I commented about 6 weeks ago on one of your posts, “The Presence of Absence. An Illustration?”. I wanted to apologize for that comment. You were absolutely right. That I would come on your blog to question your work without understanding it, without doing the work of reading as much of it as I could and taking the time to think through it, to sit with the uncomfortable stuff, was rude, childish and narcissistic.

I wanted to thank you for taking the time to explain why I was wrong about what liberalism, isolation, action and reform mean… I am learning a lot here from you and the women who comment on your posts.

I would write more, but my thoughts aren’t very clear right now. I just wanted to tell you that you were right and I’m starting to understand why now. Thank you for creating this space…

FCM - June 3, 2013

glad the archives are making sense to you nadege. thanks for reading!

27. WordWoman - June 3, 2013

Many of the radfem ideas may sound dangerous to many women. Example: when I have said to some married women I know that PIV should be off the table sexually, they don’t want to talk about it. It seems like fear. Dangerous ideas. Subversive. But it is not these ideas that are dangerous. Women have not been allowed to think them. (Burning times post trauma for women). In fact it is the things men do that are dangerous.

Delphyne, thanks for your post. I remember reading some of the blogs you mention and have memories flood back, too. Instead of feeling embarrassed about the way a male boss was emotionally abusive, like it must have been my fault (small mistakes anyone can make on any job), I thought about it differently. I needed that job at the time, but left soon afterwards anyway. Repeat this kind of thing with other men I worked with, friends, family, etc. Things like this fell into place differently for me, too Like looking through a clear lens that had been out of focus before. These blogs are amazing, and I keep thinking about this new blog of FCM’s with the quotes as historical documenting of something unlikely to be documented elsewhere.

The nastiness of these search terms, stuff that women just would not think of on their own. It’s not in our world, we cannot imagine it, really. But still it’s there. Because we learn of it in small ways. Or big ways like rape, but we assume that’s an exception. Yet, we can see it’s not an exception. it’s just like shit swirling around in the bowl of a blocked toilet. We know it’s there but would rather not deal with it. So this new blog, we get a look at the shit and it’s not just that our single toilet needs plunging, but, holy shit!!!! It’s not just our own toilet blocked, it’s like the whole city’s plumbing is in the same condition, all at once.

(You did write about shit a while back, FCM). Actually shit is not right, since it can be used as fertilizer, and could be useful, and this stuff is worse than shit because it could never be worthwhile.

28. Delphyne - June 3, 2013

FemmeForever said:

I refuse to believe there exists a woman anywhere that stupid. It’s impossible not to see it. What women do is see it and then refuse the information. They KNOW IT. They just won’t admit it out loud because that is a catastrophic realization. It means their entire lives have been a lie. That all the hard work, blood, sweat and tears have been for nothing. It’s too big for most women to admit to. I think it’s easier for those of us who have not invested so much in men. Have not based our lives on men, ever. If you have it means facing a wasted life. Most women are not willing to tell the truth about men because of what it says about themselves.

I completely agree with you – it is a catastrophic realization to fully comprehend that it is all ONE BIG LIE. Everything – the entire system – education, spiritually, laws, relationships, science – all of it filled with patriarchy’s lies. And you wonder “what now?” Wtf happens now? The betrayal, the fury, the crushing hurt from family and friends who never told the truth – just perpetrated the lie. Multi generational – for millennia. How could such a perverse system even exist? It is often easier to stay in denial.

In my own case, it wasn’t easier to stay in denial – once seen, I couldn’t unsee it; once understood, I couldn’t un-understand it; once realized, I couldn’t unrealize it. And there wasn’t enough wine to dull the feelings of betrayal and fury – they showed up in my dreams at night, never letting me unsee the truth. And if I start to slip back into denial, I simply have to come here or go to GT or look at my email inbox which is now flooded with posts from other radical feminists blogs.

To paraphrase Rumi, I can’t go back to sleep.

mieprowan - June 3, 2013

Yes, it’s an insult to shit to compare it to abusive fantasies. Think “pollution.” Think “toxic waste.”

FCM - June 3, 2013

yes, toxic waste works doesnt it? also, what ff said.

29. SheilaG - June 3, 2013

You’re right WordWoman about the fear that is within women to talk about these topics. Actually, on the PIV front, I would think this would be hard for most women to talk about. I have always been very shy talking about sex with anyone, so when a friend of mine who is an ex-prostitute brought subjects like this up, I had a hard time of it.

I get defensive at a hint of lesbian sexuality being objectified or made into some side show, and perhaps straight women have never ever thought of sex acts as political. Well Kate Millet did and many others, but in terms of everyday life, I never came across any women talking about ending PIV, for example.

30. SheilaG - June 3, 2013

There are no everyday spaces where women of all walks of life can come together to talk about this stuff. It could be fear, it could be reiticense… or just the mind blowing nature of radical feminism itself. How far it goes…
So here we are confronted with what men really think of women in these search terms, that are so ugly and so out there, that no woman I know of would ever come up with this stuff… and that presents a problem, because now we have direct evidense of the inner minds of hundreds of thousands of men, and this is who they are.

It isn’t enough to know men watch porn and that they spend billions of dollars enjoying women being raped and made into sexual objects on film.

31. SheilaG - June 3, 2013

Consciousness raising groups naturally would have dealt with a lot of this stuff, PIV being the topic 40 years ago. But now we are in a more womanhating world than ever before, we have men who are using sexual torture on a massive scale, and are aggressively attacking women as never before. It’s gone global, and yet, women are in fear of just a discussion. As a lesbian, I simply never had discussions of sex ever with straight women, and not very often with other lesbians for that matter.

I simply didn’t know what was going on with hetero women socially or in their marriages or lives. They were unknowable, or in real life, would change just about any serious political subject I would bring up a lot of the time.

I didn’t know this could be a general fear of political seriousness in general, or that my manner was too direct, since I didn’t modify my appearance to be male pleasing or even socially conforming to how women should look and dress. Back in the day, it would have been very hard for hetero women to really get to know me anyway, because I just never socialized with them. Long story short, at least in blog form, women can come and talk about real things, and can analyze the evil of men on the internet. Because the truly scary thing, is they are telling all women just what they intend to do to us. They are bringing back a new form of witchcraze, and they intend massive rape attacks as they arm themselves to the teeth in the U.S. The boys are buying guns in record numbers and watching womanhating porn such as the world never produced before.

The shootings at schools, the serial killings of women, the mass shootings by angry white ordinary Joes…. how bad will it have to get?

mieprowan - June 3, 2013

Delphyne: yes to all that. And the thing where every time you run into a strange man, who is free to move, and often ones you’re acquainted with, it’s like running into a rhinocerous, where you’re constantly focusing on some level as to whether he’ll leave you alone, or charge in some manner. Where the assumption of innocence dissolves.

FCM - June 3, 2013

im glad this project is speaking to people and that something seems to have been revealed/is in the process of being revealed. this is good. bloggers: please keep the search terms coming! thanks to everyone who has contributed thus far, it seems to be working. 🙂

32. Sargasso Sea - June 3, 2013

@ Delphyne – the enormous hurt that comes from realizing that the people we trusted the most to tell us the truth just didn’t, wouldn’t. It’s terribly sad. It’s betrayal of the deepest caliber in my book.

Even though I know that the truth can be hard to handle I’ve sworn to always tell The Kid the truth – these are the only moments I sometimes struggle with wishing reality away. Better she knows than that she gets entangled in the grand lie in all its many forms. The truth is, in the end, the most important thing I can offer her.

33. Sargasso Sea - June 3, 2013

Also – I broke down and looked at the Radical Resolution stats! The vast majority of the searches were from the MRAs (mostly my *boyfriends* at liberal dummyland fishing for doxxing material) but the disturbing one/s ran along the line of how to rape your sister while your parents are out of the house…

FCM - June 3, 2013

what a fabulous addition those would make….too bad their IP addresses arent attached. of course this is a good-is-bad up-is-down situation. the “best” search terms are the “worst” ones. the “best” evidence of what men really are, as a sexual class, consists of the worst misogyny imaginable and then some. its always the AND THEN SOME that does it, isnt it? its so obvious that these search terms are all created and used by men. women would never and indeed cannot imagine this stuff. its literally beyond our ability to be this creatively destructive. men are really good at it though.

34. mieprowan - June 4, 2013

“im glad this project is speaking to people and that something seems to have been revealed/is in the process of being revealed. this is good”

FCM: I read Delphyne’s posts and thought “You are describing my life.” This is incredibly difficult to talk about and I admire her courage in doing so.

It’s not an entire waste of time, this business of supporting men and their enterprises. One learns things in the process. And later on down the line, one thinks; what could I have done on my own? Why did I buy into this idea that they must always be included and catered to?

The next step is to learn to stop beating yourself up about it. That can take awhile.

35. mieprowan - June 4, 2013

Bit of poetic license here – I’m just climbing trees in my mind these days.

For you, FCM.

When I Wished I Was A Boy

I wasn’t a girl
Until this was pointed out
Made me unhappy.

Perfectly happy
Carousing around at will
Walking in the dark.

Fearless girl running
everywhere she pleased at night
Up at all odd hours.

Then one day men came
disguised as friends, and as boys
Teach me a lesson.

Then shit got crazy
This went on for quite awhile
It wasn’t pleasant.

Quite awhile later
People started saying that
I could be a boy.

And I though, oh yes
Wouldn’t that be grand? So free
From relentless pain.

Later I met folks
Who told me, no, you’re all right
As you are, no boy.

Just a girl, who loves
to run around in the woods
And sometimes be wild.

Old girl I am now
aging with wrinkles, not ferns
Failings, not sproutings

I still am running
wild in the woods, climbing trees
This time, just a girl.

36. mieprowan - June 4, 2013

Also, I’m reading Witchcraze. I didn’t want to get involved in a discussion of a book I had not yet read, but in any case I’m finding this an impressive and informative work, though of course deeply disturbing. Scold’s bridles, good Dog. What will men think of next?

I’ll go back and read the discussion when I finish the book. Thanks again for the recommendation.

37. Delphyne - June 4, 2013

Sargasso Sea@32 – thank you. Your daughter is very fortunate to have you telling her the truth. Truth and Freedom for me are most important.

Mieprowan – I love your poem. I find the older I get, the more that wild girl hangs around and shows me what she sees through her own eyes. I am quite protective of her.

SheilaG @30 – “…or just the mind blowing nature of radical feminism itself.”

I think that terrifies many, maybe most, women. It names the problem and doesn’t sugar coat it: men and their systems are bad for women and all living things. Even if you could reform the systems, would men change? Looking at that now, my answer is a resounding NO. Men will not change, they will not give up their power to destroy anything that lives. I don’t know why; I don’t know if I’ll ever know why, but that doesn’t change the fact that they do, indeed, torture and destroy anything that lives.

And they are quite cavalier about it – they have no shame, no remorse and they are not rehab material. I sincerely wish that they could be jettisoned off the planet and allow the rest of us to heal and live our lives in peace.

38. anonymous radical feminist - June 5, 2013

Thank you for showing men’s depravity.

When I still blogged, I had men searching for footage of MY rape which led them to my blog. My mental health took a turn for the worse with all the hate mail and requests for the footage that I got. I dread leaving the house in case some sick fuck has jerked it to me being raped and recognising me on the street.

Men think this shit is fun, that it’s a game, or a joke. They don’t care about the lives they ruin while doing it.

FCM, I think you should know that the ads under this entry feature pornography, I don’t know if you can do anything about it, but, it’s there.

SheilaG, I agree that prostituted women get the worst of it. I was fooled into stripping briefly when I was 18 and the way men treat you like a disposable sex object, then pull out their wallets with photos of their “loved” ones, you see where their priorities are. Men only care about themselves.

Men make the world a scary and violent place. Fact Check Me, thank you for exposing it and for giving women and girls a space where we can discuss it.

39. cherryblossomlife - June 5, 2013

Hey FCM,

I’ve been, erm, how shall I put it… having a rest for a while.
I’m soooo glad to see that you’ve got a series on the witchcrazethatneverhappened.
I have nightmares about the witchcraze. It reached catastrophic proportions in Wales, where I’m orginally from. I’m analyzing it, and seeing a lot of similarities between it and the way other societies became skewed and crazy as a result of patriarchy.
For example, the fact that they believed that the only way to kill a witch was to burn her reminded me of widow burning in hindu religion. In case you didn’t know, in Hinduism, you throw the widow on the cremation fire along with her husband.

Now what I believe the origins of both customs are, is that widows (and “witches” in Europe) were the ones who healed. So the Hindu woman would be tending to her dying husband, and European “witches ” (who were known to live alone without men) would be the one you’d go to for healing advice.

Now, when a body is dying, as far as I understand it, the radiation that is caught up in it is released. The woman tending to the dying person would probably absorb this radiation. So society would see her as “dirty”.

Where patriarchy has gone wrong, is that they haven’t created an outlet for these women, whereby they can go through a “cleansing and anointing” ritual in order to cleanse themselves of the death that surrounded them. This would be the normal step for a sane society.

Widows, and single women, have no resources to go through the rituals they’d need in order to heal from tending to the death (plenty of hot water, oils, herbs, or whatever). So patriarchal logic decides that they should be just… thrown on the flames.

So I believe that the witchcraze came about in Europe because bodies were not being cremated, and the radiation was not being released into the atmosphere. INstead it was being harboured in graveyards. It probably upset the balance, and might have had something to do with the fact that so many women were murdered.

So I do believe that “witches” existed, or at least, that there were women who were selected. They weren’t selected at random. They would have been the strongest women, the kindest women, the wizest women.

African social customs follow the same theme as European ones. Where I came from (a working class environment where women really struggled to survive patriarchy) there were all sorts of sayings about bones. For example, “put a bone under your mattress so that you don’t hear your own bones go crunch in the night”
Well, what that means is that sleep gives us a chance for our own bodies to realign (aka natural healing). Also, when a person dies, it’s better to have them cremated, then you bring the bones back to the house. THe dry bones can then absorb the radiation that was released as that person was dying. Then they say, “When you can smell the bones it’s time to throw them out”, meaning the house has recovered, the healer (or witch, or widow) has recovered, and the house is clean.

40. Greywing - June 6, 2013

Tangentially related here, but more re: earlier entries and discussions on the age of patriarchy, roots of male violence, and the viability of males.

Neanderthal Women Joined Men in the Hunt
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/05/science/05nean.html

A few things stood out to me. 45 000 years ago modern humans already had a division of labor between the sexes with men doing the most violent work (killing large animals) while women were doing more peaceful gathering and manufacturing work.

The theory they’re espousing is that among Neanderthals women (and possibly children too) performed the same violent work as men, and this is what caused them to die out. So, a human (sub)species where everyone behaved violently, the same way modern male humans behave, wasn’t viable. It’s only the appearance of non-violent human females that made the human species truly viable.

41. mieprowan - June 6, 2013

FCM: I’m so glad you liked my poem. I stopped writing poems for a few years, after I sort of got over the last time I got hurt by a man. I wrote some good poems then but they were all about betrayal.

I’ve only started getting inspired to write poems again since I started getting involved with the radfem community. You’ve done this for me. All of you. And my writing is a lot more free now. It’s not all wrapped up in pain.

I’m a good writer. I’ve known that since I was a kid. Hell, I *am* a writer. That’s one thing the patriarchy didn’t manage to kill out of me.

They killed my drawing. They killed my math. They killed my roaming.

But they didn’t get all of me, and I’m pleased to be here with you and all the other great women here.

Love,

Miep

FCM - June 6, 2013

hi cherry!😀 glad to see you here. thanks for reading.

42. Amanda - June 6, 2013

That is just one of the many different theories Greywing. Another theory posits that homo sapiens were MORE violent (strategically, weapons wise etc) and dominated and eventually killed off the neanderthals. There’s also theories that they interbred and basically became one species. Whatever the case, it is clear that modern humans are the most dominant and destructive species in the history of this planet. To see evidence of this, look no further than our current stockpiles of nuclear weapons which can destroy the planet several times over.

FCM - June 6, 2013

“humans”? “our” stockpiles? i think not, sorry.

43. Delphyne - June 6, 2013

Amanda – naming the problem as “modern humans” doesn’t name the problem. The problem is “human males.” They are the problem. Those stockpiles belong to them – weapons of mass destruction are their inventions. Human males direct where these WMD are to be aimed and when they are going to be used.

Human males are the problem; the other half of the human species, human females, not so much.

44. Greywing - June 6, 2013

Thanks FCM and Delphyne for refuting some of that. It’s actually entirely possible that the modern human male is more violent than Neanderthals were.

The entire point was that what might be unique among modern humans is that the sexes are behaviorally different from each other, and that modern female humans might be uniquely NON-violent, and that THIS might be the key to the success of modern humans. Yes, men’s strategic violence, deranged stockpiling of weapons etc, we have survived despite all that, why?

What do men do when left to their own devices? When there are no women around to sustain and temper them? They destroy everything, including the land they live off, each other and themselves. And that’s pretty much exactly what Neanderthals were described as doing, killing off all their game animals until they went extinct, and then going extinct themselves when they had nothing left to eat.

45. = Necrophilia | femonade - June 6, 2013

[…] week into it, i can report that the new mens search terms blog has been eye opening.  specifically, in preparing the first hundred or so posts to go live, having […]

FCM - June 6, 2013

thanks greywing. i have a new post up which continues this convo. pingback above. thanks for reading!


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