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A Final Analysis August 19, 2013

Posted by FCM in feminisms, meta, radical concepts.
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this might be a multi-part post, im not sure yet!  recently ive become aware that there are costs to doing this kind of work, and that this should never be ignored or minimized.  i have therefore been applying a cost-benefit analysis to my own involvement in this “movement” — in general, this is something women are never (ever, ever) supposed to do.  in no circumstances ever, anywhere in life, are we supposed or allowed to consider what XYZ is costing us, and whether its worth it to us.  we are the only actors in any economy whose work has no value, and when we are harmed it is not harmful.  for my part, i have very publically utilized the cost-benefit analysis in other areas, and now im applying it to this one — whether or not to continue blogging here or anywhere.

to be clear, i consider “magic” to be a benefit, as well as creativity and change, so its not a matter of playing Economist in any obvious or obviously male ($) sense, just in a balancing sense.  the cost-benefit model is a natural model that follows natural law, not mens law.  or, it is if you do it right.

it seems to me that at this point, there is very little to be gained in comparison to what is being lost and what it is costing me (and “us”) in continuing down this road.  to wit, modding a high-volume, priority-target blog has always been a chore whose cost is only outweighed where there are plenty of good comments coming in, inspiring new work.  spinning and spiraling, in other words.  where comments are down for whatever reason, modding and otherwise maintaining this space becomes very costly.  thats not the only issue, but it is the final issue for anyone who is interested in analyzing cost/benefit, which i obviously am.

as additional context, and i am only repeating myself here, in my experience, and as confirmed by the writing/experiences of women who came before, once you get to a certain point in your radical consciousness, the “movement” spits you out like a bad fig.  just squirts you right out, and “masticating” would not be a bad analogy for what “it” does to you right before.  testing your resolve, seeing if you might be broken or broken down and whether or not you can be molded and made more palatable, or made palatable again.  and probably other things.  there are very few of us afterall, and some of us are interested in numbers.  those of us who have lost our figginess or potential figginess or whatever are of no use to those who are making money off this, or who are doing it to win friends and influence (large numbers of) people or any other patriarchal agenda.  which is not really a surprise now is it?

and in the end, if you arent a fig or a particularly palatable fig, youre a nut (or the gray, unappetizing pudding which is fun-feminism) — ask any exiled radfem/revolting ex-reformist.  the nuts, apparently, are those who come to certain conclusions about men and maleness, and who reject “palatability” and politicking on feminist grounds because they hold no promise to free us.

and for reasons i am beginning to completely (even intimately) understand, the “nuts” arent generally commenting on radfem blogs, or having anything whatsoever to do with “radical feminism” or with what i am calling “figgishness” which is no more and no less than a product bought and sold.  thats the bottom line really, for me, as a radfem blogger/modder and creator/co-creator of this space, which was always partially or mostly purposed by/toward conversation and advancing radical thought.

i will, of course, leave the archives intact, and will accept comments below, as long as people are discussing.  and i may (or may not) write a followup post.  thanks for reading and contributing (spinning and spiraling) to femonade!

Comments

1. anti26 - August 19, 2013

I’ve only commented once, as I felt somewhat intimidated. I would very much hate to see you go, however, and would certainly help in any way you need, if you would accept. I can be contacted privately at [].

FCM - August 19, 2013

thanks, but thats really not necessary! ive learned my lesson about keeping projects open longer than was natural and necessary, with or without “help.” this is not anything that can be remedied, i dont think. its the nature of wordpress too, where it only pays off under certain circumstances (which are difficult or impossible for women to satisfy/create). men make things this way on purpose. and things change.

FCM - August 19, 2013

also, people are all of a sudden “following” all my blogs. wtf? im not kidding here people. there wont be anymore. we are OUT.

now, please enjoy some edie brickell!

2. Lisa Jones - August 19, 2013

Very few writers are ever compensated fairly for their work, and visionary women writers are ripped off/plagiarized, shortchanged, and marginalized almost as a rule, so there’s really no economic incentive for you to write another word. Maybe ask: “What will it cost me to stop writing? What will it cost me to shut up?” Take a break from the web and write an outrageously unpalatable book that blows minds.

FCM - August 19, 2013

ha! i may indeed. it would have to be self-published of course, because DUH, but honestly i dont think that would remedy this particular problem, do you? i am reading you literally where “economic incentive” is basically redundant (since we arent talking about $ here, you mean economic not “financial” yes?) the “economics” (cost-benefit) of writing this kind of stuff might be the same no matter the venue, once youve past a certain point. that might be why theres so little of it. i dont know, but will continue to think about it for awhile im sure.

Lisa Jones - August 19, 2013

FCM, the problem with most writers is that they have nothing to say. You have an embarrassment of riches. Trust that your work will find an audience. It already has…and yes there’s a scarcity problem. I don’t think it’s possible for you to measure the value of your influence and critical analysis in financial terms or economic terms or whatever.

3. oserchenma - August 19, 2013

Hi, fcm, I have admired your courage all the way through. You’ve been a big influence on me. I do think you may communicate your insights in other ways since you seem to have decided to leave the responsibilities of regular posting on the blog. It’s hard to imagine you not being active in some way, at least after a rest. I can also see that as you say change is normal and you have been butting your head against a lot of brick walls (and knocking a lot of bricks down) for a very long time in online terms. I assume you’ll keep all options open. I feel unsure as to whether you are definitely leaving the blog, so just want to add that I’ll keep reading and commenting as long as you’re here!

Lisaprime

4. Citizen Taqueau - August 19, 2013

Thank you for everything you’ve done. It has helped change the way I see everything. Although I don’t blog, I am working with these ideas in the world in my way as well. I have face to face conversations critiquing gender with women I know well, because they need to hear it. It really is a forbidden topic. Younger het or bi women, in particular, get very, very upset. I think it’s because they feel very tender towards boys, and they are still trying to shut out the callous cruelty they are experiencing from men in the guise of normal familial or domestic or se*ual relationship. From what they say I am hearing that they imagine that little boys are just like little girls, and if only the world were not so mean to little boys, they would not grow up into cruel men who hurt women and girls. It takes more than a few listenings to digest this stuff, so those who can follow the logic do get there as long as they don’t flip out.

My personal details aren’t that important, but sites like this have actually saved my life by presenting the forbidden books, analyzing the forbidden ideas, so that I could at last turn a corner on the harmful insanity of “gender.”

The archives are gold. I hope you have a great life. I would like to praise your endurance and courage in some way that does not evoke war. It’s hard to find the vocabulary, besides I know you don’t like that stuff, so. Anyway. You did something great, and it will keep doing good as long as it can be read, and even if wordpress disappears, the ideas can be shared again and again until they take.

I wanted to comment more over the past few months, but was never able to be alone with my thoughts at a computer long enough to do so. That should change soon. Oh, well. Thanks too, to all the commenters and your fellow bloggers. The discussions here have been powerful.

5. SheilaG - August 19, 2013

I think the difficulty of online radical feminism is the very lack of IRL community. This work is hard enough as it is, but if you don’t have the community of sisters out there to support visionary work, it makes it hard.
All the visionary radical feminists I ever met had these networks–Mary Daly, Sonia Johnson, Audre Lorde, Sheila Jeffreys, Adrienne Rich… to name just a few all have and had vast friendship/sisterhood networks. Mary Daly, for example, had an extensive network of former grad students who were very devoted to her care and protection up to the very end of her life. They are still loving and devotedly carrying on her work.

I would not be the committed radical feminist I am and have been for 30 some years without this international sisterhood. I’ve been a part of lesbian communities for decades, and we still remain together, inspiring and loving each other. All of us have received little to no compensation for our work, we are not famous, we are obscure women, but we love the liberation we’ve achieved, we’ve loved moving lesbian life into a powerful force in the world.

Just food for thought, that I believe radical feminism is about radical sisterhood, it is about everyday life, in which we are together. In this collective sense, we celebrate, we are there for each other when lovers or partners die, we stand together. I cherish the old lesbians now, love them with intense passion, and always honor them in a variety of ways. I was lucky to have been in the middle group of radical lesbian feminists and separatists, and still I find myself ennobled in this love.

The love part of radical feminism isn’t always apparent online, because online is kind of cold medium. We comment out of pure thought and spiraling, but it is not IRL, and thus, the internet still has its challenges.

I would greatlyt encourage a real life sisterhood exploration for you FCM

6. Nadege - August 19, 2013

This is really sad, but it’s understandable. I’ve worked in women’s shelters and in women’s health, and sometimes, the work is so depleting to our spirits, our emotional and physical health, that it is unsustainable for us to continue. You’ve given much, it makes sense that a time would come for you to step back and heal from having done this work.

Other than what I learned from my mother and grandmothers, I’ve learned more here than anywhere else and in a very short period of time. In fact, many things I learned here helped clarify what my grandmothers tried to teach me when I was younger. Just learning about how men’s work can be used as a springboard for truly regenerative, gynocentric work has completely changed my life. I have a great amount of respect for you and the women who comment here.

I’ll miss you and your posts… your amazing ability to spark interesting, mind-expanding/blowing, life-changing conversations. You’ve been a wonderful teacher to me.

7. GallusMag - August 19, 2013

I feel you.😦😦😦

8. branjor - August 19, 2013

Your blog is like an oasis in a vast desert. Is there anything I can do to help?

FCM - August 19, 2013

to clarify, my intent is to stop blogging completely, forever. however, as this is not a “flounce” or a fuck-you or anything like that, i am leaving room for possible additional reflection/remarks on my way out. in some ways, as it always has, it will be dependent on what is revealed as a result of *this* post and the comments/convo that follows. thanks for commenting!

9. pantypopo - August 19, 2013

And I am just dipping my toes in the radical water… I didn’t know Radical Feminism was here for me. I have been wandering alone in the wilderness for 40 years, knowing the world was wrong, but feeling like I was the only one who saw that.

I appreciate all the knowledge you have shared. I am grateful you will leave the archives available. I still have much to learn. This feels like it will be a huge loss. But it is imperative that you take care of yourself. Gallus Mag, please do the same, too.

10. irina93 - August 19, 2013

i think this is just the beginning of another road. maybe not the end of everything. i feel like we are taking this to a new level, somewhere we haven’t been before. i had the same feeling before i discovered radical feminism, that there was so much more there, and i think now, at the, lets call it the end of radical feminist thought, there is so much more out there.

recently i have been feeling like we have reached a dead end, from reading your blog especially, but not only that. i think we are somehow transcending on the level of thought where we are analyzing patriarchy and spinning and spiraling only in regards to patriarchy. i wish i could tell more now about where we could be leading, but we are in process of crossing a border, or maybe getting sucked in a different dimension, one where have never been before, so i can’t put it into words what is it that it is going to happen, there is only just a gut feeling, a strong one, but also a positive feeling, maybe a bit hopeful.

p.s.: you have sparked a lot of freeing thoughts and feelings with your blog although only with a handful of women. your blog has been for me, personally, an amazing experience. thank you for your work.

11. Sargasso Sea - August 19, 2013

Congratulations! 🙂 And thank you for Femonade.

FCM - August 19, 2013

yes! i think that “congratulations” are in order too, and that we have moved on/transcended something too. it does feel like that doesnt it? i always wondered how this would end, and i shouldve guessed “naturally” bc thats how things tend to roll around here. i feel sad about it too, but its definitely not forced or even unexpected really. we are at the end of the road. 🙂

12. delphyne - August 19, 2013

Thank you for spelling it out FCM.

13. witchwind - August 19, 2013

Thank you for your work and dedication.

I think it’s great you can put an end to something when you know you’ve learned enough from it so you can move on to new or unknown ways of spinning/sparking. I find the “term of service” concept you brought up several times very interesting and it applies to many aspects of life in general.

Internet radical feminism has meant a lot for me and has certainly contributed to a large part of my radfem learning, but it is true that the best conversations I’ve had were private conversations with radfems and those are the ones that I seek and nurture and so far they have never become obsolete in the terms you describe. The advantage of real life contact with radfems is that unlike male technology, the women you talk to evolve at the same time you do and there’s little or no interference to this (especially if we meet in real life) whereas male technology remains static and so do the problems that go with it. WordPress won’t evolve with us as we learn and grow and transform, as our needs and analyses transform too. So in this case the benefits decrease over time, and this format or interface keeps us clinging to something that prevents or blocks the flow, which human interaction with radfems does not.

FCM - August 19, 2013

i was purposely not applying the “term of service” to this blog, bc this blog is qualitatively and quantitatively different from any other project, especially straight-up “educational” or reformist projects which only go on forever if you dont know what you are talking about or do a piss-poor job of explaining it! at some point with that stuff you either “get it” or you dont, and its time to put up or shut up as they say. femonade was and is different, and is more radfem in-action than anything else ive been involved in. and theres no real reason for that kind of thing to stop, unless external things come into play, at least none that i can currently imagine! in the end, i do think it was the technology that was partly the problem bc it takes endless energy to maintain online space (literally endless — it will suck up as much as you give it). and there are *only* a tiny handful of nuts that *i* know about which is plenty IRL esp for an introvert like me, but for a space like this, not so much. this is from my perspective obvs as a modder, where my energy expenditure stays about the same no matter what (100%, as much as i have to give) but where the “work” is dependent on the discussions. there are other variables as well.

anyway, clearly i am on “team nuts” now, so ima go find my peeps. go nuts! haha

14. danceexploits - August 19, 2013

I’ve just got into RF, educated mainly by this site. I agree with most of the analysis you make of PIV etc. But as a woman without children, with fertility problems, what I like about Intercourse is it focuses on the psychological damage done by PIV. She mentions pregnancy only about once. Of course there is trauma bonding (amazing concept I learned about here- makes total sense) but she hints at the damage to womens’ sense of self. I meant to ask you to write a post about this aspect of the consequences of PIV. Up to you of course🙂

15. femmeforever - August 19, 2013

Your blog is like an oasis in a vast desert branjor

I have been wandering alone in the wilderness for 40 years, knowing the world was wrong, but feeling like I was the only one who saw that. pantypopo

I think the difficulty of online radical feminism is the very lack of IRL community. SheilaG

This was the first place I felt someone truly, finally understood reality. It was the first place I heard the term separatist. No sex? OMG, these were my people indeed. I look back on the discussions we once had and I could not get enough of the windfall of brilliant voices. Just the female energy here and what it felt like to be among like-minded women who truly did care about womanhood and womankind. Women who, horror of horrors, did not prioritize men and made no qualms about it. A place where I could finally let down my guard, tell the truth, and be welcome and safe. That is irreplaceable. There are very very few radfem blogs and I am not aware of another generalist blog written from a straight/het perspective. I will miss reading and interacting very much. So grateful I found this space.

16. SheilaG - August 19, 2013

Not to derail, but old Liver Lips checked himself into the psych ward and confessed his fake self all over the Internet. Cold comfort that the fun fems didn’t listen to us a long time ago, but the universe does do these guys in now and then. I think the powers that be are trying to get rid of that legal liability big time.

17. phonaesthetica - August 20, 2013

I’ll miss your posts here. But I understand.

FCM - August 20, 2013

its not really a derail sheila, and anyway why would anyone really care being as this is the *last* post? but srsly, this is why the figgy shit is so appealing to so many of us — because the sickening gray pudding shit (fun fem) is shit. thats why. it took me a LONG damn time to realize the figgy shit is largely shit too.

18. irina93 - August 20, 2013

i think everybody will miss these discussions, but at the same time, if we continue this way, we will be stuck forever in the same place and we will be circling instead of going further. we have so little, i for one don’t know any radfems IRL and it will be a bit harder for me, but i may spin and spiral on my own. i don’t know how far will i go with this if i don’t have other radical women around me, but you said that we also can follow our own thoughts that will spark other thought and so on. your blog has been like a breath of fresh air in the suffocating patriarchal everyday life, but i think i am going to rely on my own mind from now on and create my personal oasis of radical thought, because i don’t see that i am going to meet anytime soon any radical feminists where i live(i am from romania, btw).

19. K - August 20, 2013

I’m very sad. reading this blog helped me gain new understanding which led to me being a little bit happier. my vision on the world, men, women, and my own life became clearer. your writing is very relevant in all senses of the word. please don’t disappear. thank you!

FCM - August 20, 2013

let me say too that i appreciate the “nuts” who have commented here and elsewhere very much, and that without you (and you know who you are! and everyone else knows who you are too, the nuts are easily identifiable as soon as they open their mouths) this mightve ended a long time ago. it seems wrong to say that i had “no one” commenting here, and thats why im shutting it down, and i believe ive very deliberately and clearly NOT said that at all. and its unfortunate, but correct, to say that there werent ENOUGH nuts commenting here to make it worth maintaining a very unruly online space but this is commentary on the technology only, not on the quality of the nuts or even the quantity, you see. i think there are very, very few of us, and the reality of the situation has finally (FINALLY) been made very clear to me. and now its time to do something with that information, which is the entire point of doing any of this for those of us who arent making money from it and have nothing to gain from it but that.

the figgy shit is just the beginning, IOW, as was said above. its a way to order your thoughts and the only ethical framework as well as the only correct one because its the only one thats intellectually rigorous and objective. cost-benefit is part of that, and it might seem cold and calculating but it doesnt have to be, and anyway men are doing this to us already only they are placing their own subjective values on everything based on their value system which goes against natural law and centers themselves. the proof that their way is the wrong way, that it is unacceptable and that theres something very wrong with them is that they are killing the entire world now. we have more proof now that all of this is true than we ever have. its more true/obvious now than when dworkin was writing/speaking/thinking about it. its more true/obvious now than when any of our elders were doing any of their work, and 100 years of reformism has been like shooting pebbles at the moon. we know THAT now too. its possible that someone could pay me enough to ignore all of that, or that a nice fat (or any!) paycheck and tenure-track at a university wouldve prevented me from ending up here but thankfully no one offered. this is not about shitting on women in academia either, just acknowledging that most of us arent being paid for this and we shouldnt forget that, or pretend/act as if we are or that we are in the same position as they are or that we would necessarily share their perspective, which is based on their own circumstances and not on ours.

20. Rididill - August 20, 2013

I’m sorry you’re leaving.Thanks for everything you’ve done, it’s been hugely important to my radfem development and sanity. Best of luck for the future.

FCM - August 20, 2013

and as another commentary on the technology, as well as the state of our movement, now that ive “said something” and put material out there for public consumption i am obsessively checking comments to see what you all think. im tethered to the computer now, physically and psychically, and will be until this is over and until ive shut down comments for the last time. i dont think it would be too presumptuous to say that we are all desperate for any bit of radicalism we can get, it is so refreshing and so mindblowing and so scarce, the scarcity of it and the delivery system (internet/wordpress) combine in a sick way to make the situation pathetic and sad, as well as energy-sucking and painful. it was the same situation when i was more figgy, but now that im more nutty the scarcity problem is even more exaggerated. i cant just pick up a book anymore when comments are slow the way i used to bc its all just figgy shit, and stuff that has “passed” through the patriarchal press and this is very boring to me now. both then and now, the scarcity of radicalism has made it into a very valuable commodity, and now we are into consumerism territory. the scarcity causes a desperation including desperate feelings and actions that are antithetical to what we are trying to do. its really painful.

FCM - August 20, 2013

BTW thats another thing thats kept me going this whole time — my belief/observation that providing a service/product that no one else can/will provide is, in general, a very good use of ones time. and thats generally true i think. this is my creative/entrepreneurial spirit talking, as well as my desire to provide women with something interesting to read thats not steeped in misogyny/porn. plus i enjoyed it! so theres that. however, i am learning that the normal models dont necessarily apply to what we are doing/trying to do. the entrepreneurial (consumerist) model thats based on scarcity of resources (this normally creates “value” or worth) causes desperation and pain when we do it. the work itself is not “worth” money or living expenses, so it comes at great cost in lost opportunities and energy expenditure to anyone who is trying to create it and distribute it, which makes it even more scarce and ensures that very little will ever be made. when someone does manage to do this, they are glommed-onto and energy-sucked which causes exhaustion and perhaps resentment. the entire situation is highly charged with desperation and pain, and therefore also ripe for trauma-bonding. im just thinking outloud here. i think these things combined, and probably other things, come together to cause a situation where written radical work is essentially nonexistent. and i think this is likely to be true across the board regardless of the forum (i.e. not just wordpress) because the same patriarchal rules apply everywhere, and thats what scarcity of resources/resource hoarding is all about. thinking it through, i doubt that i will ever write a book, or write much of anything ever again.

21. feedthefishes - August 20, 2013

I was just at a radfem workshop, laying eyes on other radfems for the first time. I connected with another woman over the fact that your writing, particularly the PIV series,has been seriously influential. Thanks.

22. background spinner - August 20, 2013

You’ve been like a welcome irritant to the pearl for me, FCM, so thank you, and all those who posted such thought-provoking comments. You’ve helped open mental doorways that led to paths I probably wouldn’t have traveled on my own.

I’ve been feeling a kind of circling instead of spiraling energy for a while now. We seem to be having the same debates with slightly different wording. It’s draining, as least for me.

I’ll keep linking to your archives, and the Hub and a few others, for new eyes.

For those of us who are relatively isolated from irl contact with other radical feminists, what about Skype as an option?

23. irina93 - August 20, 2013

do you think there is anything after all this? or could be? i don’t mean in the sense of a movement, revolution or all women changing or whatever, but in our spiraling and spinning. could we ever go further than this, even on our own and creating new ideas about the world(not patriarchy)? maybe some of us won’t meet other women, or even never really get the chance to have a radical conversation over the internet again, could we, on our own go further?(not do something, but go further in our thoughts and ways of being)

24. radikit - August 20, 2013

This blog has been my favourite blog for about a year now. I check in here almost every day to either read the discussion in the comments or to see (impatiently) you have another post out. I will be very very much missing your voice!!
Thats said, I can see what you mean when you talk about scarcity and the high energy cost of blogging. And it being due to the medium. The problem is that spiralling/sparking, when done IRL in a group of radical women raises the energy in the room and feeds every woman in the room. Obviously in virtual space this is not possible. Or at least not in the same reciprocal/synchronic way. I have certainly had moments of energy rise within me triggered by the thoughts I had when reading your work, I remember clearly that happened when I read the intercourse series. It was like I could suddenly feel my ovaries and they were talking to me. I know this sounds crazy, but maybe its just nutty. I was asking myself if any of what I was reading could be true and it was as if when I allowed myself to think the unthinkable (open my mind-binders), the energy got stronger in the area of my ovaries. As if my body was signalling me that I was on the right track and to encourage. I quit PIV about a week after that. It really kicked off my development from gray pudding to figgyness!
But I have also had similar thoughts to what you’re saying about the figs. What goes under radical feminism on the internet these days is not radical to me, or not radical enough to me now. I am also looking for a space beyond radical feminism because I want to stop focussing so much on critiquing partriarchy and men and want to start bulding something entirely different.
Personally, for me this space beyond radfem has to do with witchcraft and the energetic plane. It’s all very vague to me still/I can’t see clearly yet, but I am reading witch books now almost the same way I was reading/devouring radfem lit (Daly, Dworkin, Johnson, Morgan..) about a year ago. I know all this horrfic shit about men now, so how do I break their black magic?? How do I prepare myself to be able to consciously counter men’s evilness together with other women? Thats what I want to know.

FCM - August 20, 2013

not crazy, just nutty. 🙂 yes.

FCM - August 20, 2013

i would like to say though about the “witchy” stuff that mary daly had an excellent perspective on all rituals, and as i recall it was that these were invented by men to “connect” them to things/forces or feign connections to things/forces that females are already connected to naturally, for real. they force their rituals on us and tell us that we need them and all manners of male bullshit to connect but this is either a lie or a misunderstanding/projection of maleness onto females who do not share mens pathetic dis-connected condition. i would hate for anyone to waste one second on rituals and that kind of thing if it feels wrong for them, thinking that theres something wrong with YOU if it doesnt work, or feels alien or unnecessary. other women have noticed this and commented on it already. its not just you.

25. irina93 - August 20, 2013

these rituals or any kind of ritual for that matter is mind numbing, it disconnects you from your senses or perceptions, and you are trying to erase every good and reasonable thought to make yourself believe and act like the religion or cult says. maybe that’s another way to make women disconnected from their reality and what men actually are. basically is brainwashing, all sorts of boring, repetitive, energy-draining rituals.

26. Sargasso Sea - August 20, 2013

And the one “ritual” that is has not been allowed to us is to trust ourselves and to think for ourselves and to save ourselves – to be selfish of our own individual identities, iow.

This is key to *your* (our) freedom.

27. Lisa Jones - August 20, 2013

Maybe it goes without saying, but I would urge you to create a backup file of your blog. On your dashboard menu, go to “tools.” Choose “export.” Choose “create XML file.” Choose “all content.” Click “download export file.” If you’re in windows, a dialogue box will come up. Choose “save” file. Click OK.

This will create a XML file that you can keep on your computer. If your blog gets hacked or content somehow disappears, you will have an archive that you can re-import into wordpress (and other platforms, too) to restore your content.

28. mechantechatonne - August 20, 2013

I will say that your blog really started my journey to radical feminism and made a lot of things suddenly make sense to me. I had been in fun fem spaces for a few years and at first I was intrigued by them, because they seemed better than general spaces, but I couldn’t really put into words the issues I had with them until I came here. It meant a lot to me to finally see it put in words what was wrong with liberal feminism and reformism. This blog also introduced me to Mary Daly, for which I will be eternally grateful. I appreciate what you did here, and will certainly be enjoying the archives, although I’ll miss your posts.

But I can’t begrudge you for finding moderating bullshit tedious compared to the amount of valuable traffic that comes through. I hope you have a good life, and if you pop through to post, I’ll still read. And I’ll blog more often either way. You’ve put your time in, I can put in more of mine.

29. marisorigin - August 20, 2013

“I am also looking for a space beyond radical feminism because I want to stop focussing so much on critiquing partriarchy and men and want to start building something entirely different.”

I feel this way, too. Learning about the mechanisms by which men oppress, deplete, kill, and erase us seems to be only one part or aspect of the journey of transformation that we are making. After one understands it thoroughly (which has happened here, as evidenced in the repetition noted by background spinner,) what happens next? Once we all know about the violence to that degree, it feels toxic to touch it more. I feel sick just to leaf through the news ands the stories of endless male violence, or even to write violent words. At one point it is knowledge/self-protection/truth-telling, but to take more than you need feels like pollution.

Anyways, we’ve been over that, so I keep returning to the ideas about seeking authenticity, women’s essence, and creativity that happened in one of the discussions (ugh, can’t find it again for the life of me.) There were also FCM’s thought experiments as she tried to recreate sensations that a free woman would have experienced. It reminds me that we have many things to tell the truth about – not just men, their violence, and patriarchy, but our own real selves and energy, individually and when connected to the earth or to other women, whatever unique shape that takes.

In short, reading this blog for me has been a journey of learning and growth, and placing all this terrible knowledge in a context that strengthens me and pushes me to seek truth beyond the limits that have been drawn around us. An unfettering, in a way.

I wish a great unfettering for you, FCM. That your energy will blossom and explode around you in ways you never before thought possible. Thank you for your work and your commitment to the truth.

30. SheilaG - August 20, 2013

This was a fascinating insight into hetero women, and the challenges they face. It is not really my world at all, and it is a tough road. Our groups have moved beyond the male critique mode, because we are beyond men. The radical lesbian feminism that was such a power in my life continues into other generations of women. It is a continuum.

Mary Daly, when asked about men said, “I don’t think about them.” She said she was concerned about women’s capabilities and talents. I’d say this is pretty much the state of a lot of lesbian communities now; we are focused very much on beauty. And I love the freedom from boring male rituals, and have eliminated even more of them. The awe of nature, the sound of wind, seeing whales at sea, eating a wonderful meal in a lesbian home, drinking great wine, loving the incredible power of women, loving women in every way imaginable–beyond the beyond. Mary Daly in spirit loves us all for this, and she is smiling now, grandly smiling!

31. wwomenwwarriors - August 20, 2013

You signed off the night before a seasonal Blue Moon!

Me thinks the magic has only just begun.

Atoms bound in a molecular structure move when heated, and then they move more and more rapidly with the more heat you give them. Hot enough, some will break free from the molecule and shoot off to form another new and/or different molecule that would not exist if it hadn’t been for that heat, freeing up atoms bound into molecular structures.

We are trying to change the world. We give heat and give heat until the raging fire cools and we can be still for a moment.

But something was formed. There is movement in womyn all over the world that you catalyzed into action with the sparks you brought into the world.

I personally know one woman who you freed from chains. It was your blog. She has told me it was your blog. She went from Stockholm to a raging, fierce, amazonian goddess as a result of stumbling onto your blog, and she runs through the streets howling and ripping chains off every woman she meets. She helped strip me of mine. Who knows how many more such movements you have stirred.

Take care Amazonian sister. I “met” you at the end of your journey here, but then what the hell is time anyways?

P.S. Write a book.

32. oserchenma - August 20, 2013

These comments are starting to bring me to tears. I wish…I so wish..we were full and sovereign human beings, subjects, not objects, real people, not sexual commodities to be exchanged by men. I mean…we are…I mean…if only our reality and authenticity as people was a given in civilization.

But it appears that civilization itself is built on our oppression. It appears that we will have to understand that we are outside civilization, outside the class structure of the Marxists, outside the hierarchies altogether. We are not citizens of civilization. We are things civilization trades in. We are sex and children and free labor and caretakers of the citizens.

And yet we are equally as human as those who oppress us. I think again and again of Sojourner Truth’s question: “Ain’t I a woman?” I think these four words encapsulate the tragic and extrardinary position we are in. “Are women human?” as Catherine MacKinnon famously has said. Ain’t I a human? Damn anyone who says I am not.

33. witchwind - August 20, 2013

that’s very true that men’s violence-caused scarcity of “nuts” as you say FCM facilitates trauma-bonding on one side and energy-suck on the other, which for either side is very unhealthy and painful, with all sorts of negative consequences that go with it. There is either an overflow of unwanted attention and demands to which we can’t respond and which makes us want to run away, or a scarcity of attention from which we suffer. And we might well experience both at the same time but with different women. This configuration certainly doesn’t foster autonomy or freedom from toxic, oppressive relationships.

Male technology inherently organises scarcity in many ways: one being the simple fact of time deferral between the emission and reception of a message, which doesn’t exist IRL because communication is immediate, as you speak the other responds physically and then verbally in immediate time, the connection and exchange is present, there is no time lapse and disconnection between the two. Whereas the male blog technology interface cuts down the richness of communication so extremely, it only becomes a shadow or sordid imitation of what real communication and connection with women is. It becomes reduced to a play between craving, high-low craving high-low: which is an addictive cycle, and an addictive cycle is violence / PTSD. This is the only form by which men can experience the outer world, through this addiction sadomasochist cycle, and this is why their technology is adapted to their way of being.

Blog technology necessarily creates this craving because once we send a written message we desperately wait for a reply, and we don’t know when it’s coming. Our direct contact is with the screen, not with a person, which is such a strong sensory deprivation that it leaves us craving for having direct contact with the person, inevitably. And so receiving the messages will become a way to release the pain, tension or suffering of the craving. And as the messages only come one by one, through drops, instead of as a constant flow with real contact, the messages only provide temporary, very short-term relief and we’ll immediately crave for the next message and the next and the next…

34. witchwind - August 20, 2013

I’ve been thinking about the effects of technology especially our use of IT technologies as radfems for quite a while, and this above is something in particular that I’ve noticed and it’s really inherent to technology, you can’t take it off.

The question then is what kind of configuration or disposition creates abundance of radical feminism (nuts), as opposed to scarcity? Many of us have mentioned real life contact here. This takes time to build but I think it’s possible as long as there are women around us that we can reach. Real life contact, if with nutty women, favours abundance because the flow of exchange is ongoing and whole, integral, instead of reduced, fragmented and deferred. otherwise of course it causes suffering and pain when in violent conditions. Is it possible to create abundance IRL in general though? That is a question to me now, as I do notice that radfems easily get badly sucked IRL too. so maybe the same question applies for technology and real life but it’s a question of degree?

Then there is also focusing on sensory experiments, on rediscovering our sensory powers and creativity either with ourselves or with other women, and uncovering ways of being that feel natural and trying to attain a maximum level of protection from male pollution and rapism in any form. this really allows for infinite possibilities. I think this is also very important to create the healthy and stimulating kind of bonds and friendships with women we need.

35. oserchenma - August 20, 2013

Yes, witchwind. We must create those bonds. As a het woman who has a full understanding of the situation I ask my lesbian sisters to accept me and bring me into the fold they have created, for instance. I am celibate, which makes this easy. But I ask that het women in general be brought into the fold. We have nowhere else to go, and we understand that our desires have led us only into pain. I want to see some women-safe places to go and live. Let us make this our focus. I can’t think of anywhere else to go with the situation as it is.

36. witchwind - August 20, 2013

another thing that i noticed with the technology thing is that because of the sensory deprivation + craving high / low dynamic, you tend to forget yourself and forget your feelings or signs of tension and tiredness until you literally can’t read or write any more, way beyond the time you should have stopped. It’s really quick to spend hours and hours on internet or radfem blogs or writing, taking on your eating or sleeping times. Time passes differently too, much more quickly. And it’s limitless, you could literally do it until you die, if you’re heavily addicted to it.

Again this is true for internet but it might be true for other male stuff too, maybe it’s a question of degrees as well, but with internet it’s particularly strong.

37. nives - August 20, 2013

your writing and the discussions you have hosted here will be much missed. thank you for hosting one last discussion before you sign off.
I find this point of yours interesting– “i do think it was the technology that was partly the problem bc it takes endless energy to maintain online space (literally endless – it will suck up as much as you give it).”
having been involved in numerous online projects over the years i’ve seen a clear pattern. these projects peak early, usually within the first couple of years, and after the peak they require the same amount of energy to maintain (sometimes more) for ever diminishing returns. this “online entropy” seems universal no matter what the topic is or the individuals involved. The internet is the main arena for radical writing today, but what are the consequences? so far women have been doomed to continually create new online projects, have them peak, abandon them, and then they or other women create new projects covering the same ground, rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat. i’m exhausted even thinking about it! It’s classic reinventing the wheel-ism – a problem that has plagued feminism from the beginning, but it seems more obvious online because internet time is “compressed” somehow.

maybe some of these energy-sucking problems could be minimized. men are the architects of the internet and every online platform from email, to IRC, P2P, blogs, forums, FB. i’ve often wondered what the topology of the internet might look like if women were the primary architects, and how it might feel to use it, and how it would feel different from men’s internet. Maybe women’s internet wouldn’t have discrete pages with discrete comments requiring moderation and other energy-sinks. maybe connections would be made and thoughts shared by a series of overlapping “bubbles”. Or spirals, where prior work can be incorporated into new work, instead of women starting from scratch, every time.

this is an area which could be further explored by radical women who want to continue the work started by FCM. imagining the internet, and then creating it. many online platforms have been invented by lone dudes tinkering away in their basements. women could do this too. a women’s sovereign country is a pipe dream, but a women’s online platform is possible, right now. (but maybe the costs/benefits wouldn’t work out anyway. if nothing else the “internet kill switch” bill (meaning the US president can shut down internet traffic) demonstrates that the internet is too ephemeral to be trusted with anything as important as radical writing.)

38. Sargasso Sea - August 21, 2013

If we are truly being honest with our-self, there IS no “het”. Only free women.🙂

39. WordWoman - August 21, 2013

The space you created on this blog was unlike any other online. It has been a very precious space. I can only imagine the cost to do this. I am deeply grateful to you, for me personally, and also for women.

Not quite through reading all the comments yet, and I may have more to say, but don’t want the comments to be closed before I acknowledged the amazing phenomenon that has been your blog. And thanked you for it.

40. WordWoman - August 21, 2013

Witchwind, I just read your comments about the technology. This strikes a chord with me. The technology, perhaps male technology itself, is antithetical to what needs to happen next. At least for me.

I’m not much into rituals of any kind (FCM good point, I so agree and trauma bonding can be replicated in high-intensity rituals, but to what end? More trauma bonding? No thanks!).

And there is a ritualistic kind of experience about this technology, like wordpress/internet/etc. I just want to puke when people say, “but it’s so powerful and Wikipedia and the Egyptian revolution, yada, yada” Really, it’s all some kind of weird male ritual that keeps us from ourselves. (A look now at the Egyptian revolution can show how successful that was, from twitters to an excuse for more murders, and Dickipedia is more male brainwashing).

That said, FCM certainly used it to the limits of its possible usefulness. And it was very, very useful. In amazing ways, with the convos, really. But at what cost? And I’m not only talking about the obvious dealing with an onslaught woman-hatred. Which is obvious, or the betrayals by others who called themselves radfems, which is a weird part of the online culture apparently but I don’t do social media so don’t know much about that. But now the what I’m calling the ritualistic aspect of a technology like internet/wordpress/etc is not good for whatever needs to happen next. Being free women is not going to happen using these male-tech rituals.

It’s good to be able to bring this to a close with you, FCM.

41. witchwind - August 21, 2013

thanks for that reply S4! No woman is naturally in chains. Het is a male fiction enforced on us.

FCM - August 21, 2013

re women owning property, which is how i am reading all comments re “womens land” and women living together, i would only underscore that women ARE property, and indeed women were probably the FIRST property. the implications of this reach far and wide, including but probably not limited to all consumerism and womens participation in and relationship to consumerism/consumerist economies. women being “productive” (producing goods/services, including writing BTW or perhaps including writing for its own sake, even after the point has been made/communicated) when we are products ourselves, women owning property when WE are property…call me crazy (nutty) but this seems like we are doubling back on ourselves and trying to find our freedom in or via the very mechanisms of our own oppression. cheeky perhaps, but ultimately not only wrong but impossible, and probably not unlike the fun fems trying to “reclaim” slut. isnt it? in a way this is a good realization to have (that even substantially increasing womens productivity, wealth, ownership and participation in consumerism will not and cannot free us) since its never going to happen anyway! women own what, 1% of the worlds land? this is unlikely to change anytime soon, and unlikely to EVER even be “equal” but besides that, will us owning MORE land solve our problem, one of which is the concept of ownership itself (esp ownership of land/resources) where a person can “own” something wild, free and mysterious because some man somewhere says so? note that this does nothing to exclude women from the category of property and in fact implicitly includes us. note too that women going to work hasnt helped either — this “second shift” business is the product (us) not only being a product, but also producing. a double-exploitation. and we thought THAT would free us. looking back on it, using the frames we have created here, this was doomed to fail wasnt it? and looking forward, we cannot (should not) make the same mistakes.

FCM - August 21, 2013

also, im finding it interesting that several women have said that they also sensed that we had reached the end of the road, or that we have been “circling” and not spiraling for awhile now. and yet no one said anything, and they kept reading. again, this is the scarcity/desperation problem i think — you would read anything i gave you bc you were desperate for something (anything!) interesting to read that wasnt steeped in misogyny and porn! this is not a criticism, but an observation, and i in fact feel the same way as i have said. and from your perspective, you are losing a radical resource, but welcome to my world i guess! bc i havent had much to read for a long time. dont forget that *i* dont have femonade as “reading material” and i never did. none of “my” blogs were ever reading material for me bc i was involved behind the scenes, and this includes the HUB. im sorry that there was a desperation in all of this for you (and for me). and im sorry that the delivery-system was ritualistic and opened the door to obsessiveness (obsessively “checking” things) and i know it was because it did the same thing to me. and…im really glad this is ending. this is just more confirmation for me that it was the right time and the right thing.

FCM - August 21, 2013

to be fair, my more recent writing wasnt *just* not-steeped in misogyny and porn. there was a lot more to it than that, and that includes the conversations. the point is the SCARCITY of it, and this nutty-stuff is even more scarce than the other stuff so likely to create even more desperation. its really nasty, and unfortunate, bc “other than that” its really fun to write/read.🙂

42. irina93 - August 21, 2013

i think that as wild creatures, but enslaved and domesticated by men, if we want to ever be free, is to get back to the wild and forget about owning property, fighting men, writing on the internet or whatever. maybe that’s the path to our freedom, not just thinking wild, but living wild.

43. irina93 - August 21, 2013

we can just get out of the system completely, without depending on it for food, survival, etc. just go somewhere where there are no living humans and just live there. i know i sound crazy right now, but… i really fancy this idea… getting back to nature, our nature, our roots. we don’t need money, streets, whatever, we just need our freedom.

44. WordWoman - August 21, 2013

FCM, you say “one of which is the concept of ownership itself (esp ownership of land/resources) where a person can “own” something wild, free and mysterious because some man somewhere says so?”

I loved all your writing, the fun and the depth of it, nitty-gritty, and also leaving it open to mystery and wildness. Owning the land is not the answer but feeling our connection with it may be important, may be the anti-technology, but not the canned versions of environmentalism. Something you hinted at in thought experiments.

“There were also FCM’s thought experiments as she tried to recreate sensations that a free woman would have experienced. It reminds me that we have many things to tell the truth about – not just men, their violence, and patriarchy, but our own real selves and energy, individually and when connected to the earth or to other women, whatever unique shape that takes.” (Marisorigin)

Men designed the internet/technology and what better evidence for that than all the spying and recording of data from computers and cell phones. Built into the design of it for enslavement, more enslavement, always moar! that is. So men own technology/the internet and it will never lead us to the mystery or wildness. Also the het fiction won’t ever lead us there.

I’ve been having some discussions irl lately with women who refuse to define themselves in terms of sexuality. They feel confused by the whole thing. And have for years. What are they? Are they straight, lesbians, bisexual? (Three different women, one of each of these category). Each has settled for celibacy including the straight one who has a Nigel. Is it that they are looking for the wild, free, mysterious self? but won’t find it in men’s categories. I think lesbians come closest, are not so afraid, but especially younger women have to deal with the pornified image of what the “L-word” connotes with s and m being part of it.

I have felt this blog coming to a close, not circling exactly but something outside technology needing to happen, though I couldn’t say how or why or even put it into words, like language could not work to express it. And perhaps doubting my own perceptions as just individual or an anomaly. Perhaps others have felt this too.

45. WordWoman - August 21, 2013

Well, I’m glad you perservered after the whole period where there was the betrayal of the hub, etc. of so-called radfems. This must have been difficult for you because it was difficult even as an outsider, experiencing this betrayal. Wanting to chuck the whole thing and chalk it up to “another learning experience” in not trusting anyone. Oh, spitting you (and other nuts) out like a bad fig! lol, lol. you do have a genius way with words and putting things in perspective. Going nutty is the road to sane. Not sanitized.

But it led to exploration of radical feminism and what that might mean. Paring away the lies. Not winning the war or the battle, because the war is part of their game. There is a tendency to want to say, oh, no, don’t stop femonade, that means the malestream won. That whole bullshit thing that happened was a product of the male/tech matrix, whether intentional or just a by-product doesn’t matter so much. Because it will always happen in maleworld. War is part of their game. Can we just not play that game? Just not use the technology? Find the root? Be the root? Continually radicalize?

You hit the nail on the head about wanting something to read that is not toxic. There are other blogs I read and will continue some, but something different needs to happen, too. So, thank you for the right closure here. How to find what it means to be wild, free, mysterious? I hope that mysterious becomes where some of us live and thus known, precious, though always mystery to those in maleworld.

46. irina93 - August 21, 2013

i’m really becoming convinced that to radicalize ourselves more, we should do more than just letting our minds running wild, we must let our bodies experience that wilderness. to be fully without constraints, our whole senses should experience the non-patriachal and not-manmade world that is out there. get away from the city, somewhere in nature and live without man-made devices and stuff.

being in maleworld is for us nothing but slavery and it will always be. if we play after men’s rules, we become handmaidens, so we lose everything, meaning ourselves, and that’s what they want. finding our own way is the answer. ignore everything men have created and built. everything that they have done, we have no use for, it always makes our lives worse and the chains dig deeper and deeper in our flesh.

47. lonsomefeminsit - August 21, 2013

Hi FCM,
I haven’t commented here before, but I’ve been reading your posts and the fascinating and illuminating conversations happening in the comments. I was wondering if you read the new post on Feminist Current about masculinity and the clusterfuck of a comments section? There’s also a pretty ugly thread on their DGR post.

I brought it up b/c you have never shied away from speaking the truth, no matter how painful or ugly it is. I saw on that thread supposed radical feminists chastising another feminist for using the word “fuckhole” to describe a neovagina, saying that she sounds like an MRA or white supremacist. So now on we just have to be nice ladies who don’t “dehumanize” (their words) the poor transwomen? I was almost brought to tears about what they said about gendertrender and other radfem blogs on the DGR thread, apparently some of the newest and freshest voices in radical feminism are “angry women who latch on to some aspects of radical feminism to justify their ideas that all men oppress women.” Where can we go now?

I hope this wasn’t considered too off-topic, I just wanted you to know you’ll be sorely missed!

48. aliyah16gurl - August 21, 2013

I’m really sad that you’re leaving, but I get it. Being on the younger end of this group of radfems on the web, it still feels like the beginning to me. But I do understand the circling rather than spiriling. I felt that too, in a sense. Thanks for all your writing! It really made me open my eyes and see the truth. 🙂

49. WordWoman - August 22, 2013

Yes, the truth. Changes us deeply. (it did me). It sets us free. Makes us nuts😉 ❤ Thanks for all that!

50. Mia XX - August 22, 2013

Hi FCM

I have commented here only rarely, mainly because I usually felt that others were saying it all already, or because I came too late to the discussion and the comments had closed. But I have been an avid reader for probably a good two years now. This blog has helped shape me, my thinking, and my radical feminism. It is true that there’s nothing else out there, written down and available, quite like this. I have always found it refreshing most of all- and freeing, and challenging- you really make me understand ‘going to the end of my thoughts’ and remove the fear of doing so by having already gone there yourself and lighting the way.

I’m not going to lie, I am really going to miss this, and I’m upset to hear that you’re stopping writing- but I can see why you are. And I would also like to say congratulations for having created and maintained this place, and facilitated those discussions, it’s certainly an achievement.

I don’t blog much myself, for a variety of reasons, but I try to act differently in real life by listening to all women, especially older women, trying to work out what they’re saying and where they’re coming from, and consciously trying to be woman identified and not male identified, and naming the agent whenever I get the opportunity. I am het, so it’s hard, and another way in which your blog has been so incredibly refreshing.

Mainly what I wanted to say was thankyou.

FCM - August 22, 2013

so glad to see so many people here saying hello/goodbye. i will miss so many things about this, i really will.

FCM - August 22, 2013

and *if* i wrote a final post, it would probably be something super-nutty. 😀 im not sure yet if i will, but i will take this opportunity to recommend (again) everything by sonia johnson especially “going out of our minds: the metaphysics of liberation”; “wildfire”; “the sisterwitch conspiracy”; and “out of this world: a fictionalized true life adventure”. as we have discussed before, she was an influential feminist in the 80s and tried very hard to get the ERA passed. she failed, and all the women who tried so, so hard to JUST get formal, legal equality with men — thats all they wanted! — failed. and she reflects on this, including why they failed, and why so many women refused to get on board and “politick” as hard as she did toward that end. her reflecting on these things revealed much about both women and men, and was flattering to women but not to men (most women are smart enough to know this shit isnt going to work anyway so they dont bother wasting their time; and men are not going to stop, ever).

besides this, which is completely revolutionary thinking BTW, she gets very nutty (due to both the revolutionary thinking and the nuttiness, she has “decided” to only self-publish from now on, which is probably a good idea and likely her only option anyway). when reading “going out of our minds” kindly note the subtitle, which is “the metaphysics of liberation.” for some reason, i know women have read this book and missed the concept of “metaphysics” completely. “why does she use ‘metaphysics’ in this context and what does this mean to her?” — might be a good question/awareness to have while reading it, for reading comprehension purposes if nothing else. its not tangential to the point, it pretty well is the point (which is why its in THE TITLE). and it is perspective-shifting work. i have also said that it was my impression that she is a bad writer and her writing is silly — cheesy, corny, nutty and everything you really dont want to see when you pick up a “serious” book. and yet in my experience, she has managed to achieve something that should be impossible, which is to get women — the worst and longest-oppressed group in history — to FEEL what it FEELS like to be free, or to imagine that we ever could be and that this is possible. this is ANOTHER reason to think that “writing” is a very limited tool for our purposes — if this is “bad writing” then what the hell is “good writing” and who made up these rules anyway? mm-hmm. anyway, its something to think about, and something to read, if you havent already.

FCM - August 22, 2013

and now, please enjoy some innocence mission!

FCM - August 22, 2013

did i mention that i have a *really* hard time listening to music now? sheesh.

51. WordWoman - August 22, 2013

I have gotten all Sonia’s books but have not had much time to read them, though I’ve made attempts in the past. That was my plan for the next step🙂. I wish they were in digital form, though, since I can then read books where ever I go and that helps. Though it’s not your plan, if you ever do write/publish a book, please let us know on this blog or on the hub archives or both. I know someone who just self-published on Amazon and it was pretty easy to get done. It cost her $100. I’m not suggesting you do this unless it seems right, since it’s important to take the right steps to keep spiraling and not just circling.

Your blog and the hub archives are a great place to send women who want to know more about radical feminism. They have great value for women. In the years to come, I hope. As I have come to understand more, I have begun talking to women about radfem, and women’s liberation, as Sonia discusses.

52. farishcunning - August 22, 2013

May you be well and happy, FCM!

Fare

53. background spinner - August 22, 2013

“I’ve been feeling a kind of circling instead of spiraling energy for a while now. We seem to be having the same debates with slightly different wording. It’s draining, as least for me.”

I wasn’t very clear, sorry. I meant ‘we’ keep having the same debates across platforms–FB, twitter, tumblr, etc. There seems to be no real purpose to it, except to make ‘points,’ and then to make them again in a slightly different way. It really seems to me like the tech equivalent of busywork.

This blog, on the other hand, has spiraled out in all kinds of directions. 🙂

54. Greywing - August 22, 2013

Thank you, congratulations and good luck!

It has felt to me too as if things are coming to some kind of end. In particular the last post before this one. Best of luck on any future endeavors, or perhaps at “doing nothing” (loved that post!)

FCM - August 22, 2013

the “not chattel” one? do tell! obvs you were right, although even i didnt know it at the time…

55. girlsoftheinternet - August 22, 2013

Just checking in to say I’m sorry to see this project come to an end, but I totally understand your decision. I’m very glad that you have decided to leave the archives up, I feel like I have a lot more yet to get out of them, and there are at least a few entries that I come back to read again and again.

I wanted to say thank you for sharing your writings and insights with us and for hosting the phenomenal discussions that have taken place on this blog. Also I’d like to thank the regular commenters here. I have learned so much from you all and it’s no exaggeration to say that this blog changed my life.

Also, a thousand thank yous for introducing me to Sonia Johnson!

Be well

56. Sargasso Sea - August 22, 2013

I do believe the reference was to the witch craze part 4 from June 13 wherein rubyfruit2 warned us that attempting reform is better than sitting behind our computers and “doing nothing”…

FCM - August 22, 2013

whats all the figgies gon’ say/think/do now that im signing off — now im REALLY doing nothing! where this whole time ive been doing nothing too, but at least it was better than doing nothing! oh wait

i was wondering though how/why greywing felt that the end of the road was “the last post before this one” which was the chattel post, yes? was it anything specific? im just curious. and when youre right youre right!

57. fatimangry - August 22, 2013

I’ve been reading your blog without commenting for months now and I felt very sad when I saw your last post. Now that I read your comments, I feel I was egocentric considering your blog a “resource” and ignoring the efforts it costs you..or doing the cost-benefit analysis to *your* work according to *my* craving for radical readings. Which is wrong (and male-centred).

I wish I could comment every time I had something to add to the discussion but I’ve never felt comfortable to formulate my ideas in english (nor do I know) as I’m not fluent. But I wanted to say that I loved your blog bc I think I read here the most radical writings ever, that have literally changed the way I see (radical) feminism, men and the world. I think I experienced femonade as a shortcut through radical feminism.
Thank you for that FCM.

FCM - August 22, 2013

yes! a shortcut! sonia johnson believes this is possible. i have written about this before. 🙂 and i am beginning to see her point.

58. irina93 - August 22, 2013

i had the same feeling as greywing. i can’t explain why, but the feeling was there for sure. especially during the comments, then some troll spoiled everything and the discussion died.i felt like there was nothing more to be said, maybe because we had already a pretty clear image about what patriarchy is and does. we also had those exciting conversations about men’s nature and we knew already, simple and clear what the were. and knowing what men are, we automatically know what patriarchy is. and that’s the end. now we have ahead us our freedom and we can now dig deep in ourselves to discover our nature, women’s nature, without interference, and from that start creating our own world, a world where every woman can feel at home and in harmony with nature and her own nature.

59. aSpinninSister - August 22, 2013

FCM, i think it was sumthin about “the circus comin to town” that might have clued some of us in!

thanksxx so much for your enthusiastic support and praise for Sonia Johnson & Mary Daly…. i credit them, and You for my XXcellerated Journey these past few years ….i just finished Going Out of Our Minds….how Fun it would be to sit down at the kitchen table and talk about the Metaphysics of Liberation with you and OUR Group of Womyn, like Sonia and her friends used to do for hours on end !!

I have so appreciated your time and the Gynergy that you have given to Me/Us sisters, beyond words invaluable, XXtraordinary……

i also want to thank & praise All the other Brilliant Womyn whose comments have contributed to the spiraling and spinning we have done/are doing together ….WW, s4, sheila G, CBL GM, CB
..the list goes on & on……

i started reading the Hub just after you & the others started it and for me, to find womyn “out there” sayin RadFem stuff in the NOW,
besides Sister Carolyn Gage and the Lesbian Tent Revival,
was simply amazoning/amazing! of course we have our foremothers/sisters sonia johnson, mary daly , sheila jeffreys etc…..

EYE think you should self publish ALL your 200+ posts/essays in a book (s) , With Commints!!

i am sad but i understand and can only imagine the toll its taken on your physical/mental/emotional health

so mi hermana, que te vaya bien, may you go well
and remember what mary daly said, its not about the numbers….if just a few of us sisters are sparkinand spinnin here an there with each other,
we may start a WildFire, the She-Volution!! (thanksxx s.j.!)

sending love & compassion………………………………..C

60. Greywing - August 22, 2013

I went back and re-read the “not chattel” comments. I can’t say exactly what it was, but somewhere around the illusory nature of men’s power and whether killing is the whole point for men, I remember wondering how you would follow that conversation up, FCM, because I couldn’t really see anything beyond that really. And even now I find myself at a loss for words trying to say anything more about it.

61. witchwind - August 22, 2013

i also know that my interest in understanding patriarchy has greatly decreased for quite a while compared to my interest in discovering my freedom and creating a world of my own and a world that i can share with other women. One thing however that i haven’t lost interest in is sharing my understanding of patriarchy with women in perspectives that either haven’t yet been done or published (that i know of), or in real life spaces that we can all enjoy and are safe, and that connect us to the elements and allow for spinning – I enjoy very much having sparking conversations with women in the wild, in nature for instance. This can be both about men, about what men do to us and how it affects us, about our world and the things we do, and other forms of communicating or living.

Also, now that i understand men and patriarchy much better after these few years of learning radical feminism, there is so much left to explore and discover within ourselves, with women, with nature and our creative capacities that within such a context, sharing what i learned in radical feminism both on the women side and men side flows much more easily i think. It can be both a painful but also a very joyful and positive experience, leading to many new forms of living and exchanging with women.

all this to say that for now i have not found an inherent “term of service” to sharing views on what men are and what patriarchy is, as it doesn’t necessarily has to be done through male technology, in energy-sucking ways or in male-centred, necrophiliac ways. I think it’s a matter of deciding what the focus of our life will be and once you decide to take your focus off men and focus on biophilic activities and protect yourself from men’s violence and presence, well things flow pretty naturally from then on i find, and you cut out the things that are harmful if you’re in capacity to do it. Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense or if its repetitive as I’m struggling to express what i mean.

62. nuclearnight - August 22, 2013

May this open up new opportunity in your life for change, growth and radical feminist spinning. I totally understand what you mean about the cost/benefit analysis in regards to radical feminist blogging. Whilst its very important we can’t get stuck, as Mary Daly said we must fight stagnation by continuing to move. Let other women step in to write, step into new bold forms of be-ing.

63. radikit - August 22, 2013

I agree Greywing, I fel the same way about the comments on the chattel post. I stared at the “leave a reply” box for a while and then realized that I had nothing to add to this. The realization about what a truly fucked up place it is we live in was crystal clear and that none of the known pathways/roads of resistance are of any use to women. So what is there to say in words, now? With you gone, FCM, there is little reason for me to be online much anymore. facebook groups have lost their appeal for months now, precicely because I tired of repeating the same points in the same discussions over and over again. I want to evolve, spiral, not stay in the same metaphysical space all the time. So its time for something new now. I just wish we could somehow still partake in each others’ journeys, like we did here, through you. How are we going to know about the synchronicity occuring in our lives with regards to the realizations we have?

64. witchwind - August 22, 2013

in other words, as far as i’m concerned i haven’t yet reached a point where i feel i have nothing to say any more, wrt to radical feminism and women’s liberation of course. there are things that i’ve been wanting to say for quite a while and haven’t had the opportunity to do so yet, and then there are the insights that i learn every day through interaction and conversations with women or various readings and that i want to share. I think so long i will be alive and willing to learn about life and living around women and nature there will always be insights to share in fact, and i think this is true for every woman.

wrt to the chattel post, I don’t think a dying convo is necessarily a sign that the blog is reaching a closure. here I see it more as a symptom of something larger that has been there for a long time, which is what FCM describes as scarcity problem + technology. If FCM hadn’t reached the conclusions she made from her experience of blogging and what it meant about radical feminism, maybe she (you) could have continued producing new articles. In this case it was a troll that put the convo to an end. But if we look at dying convos per se, sometimes the post or a comment were very insightful and brilliant, but because of the simplicity and “ah of course that’s obvious” nature of radfem insights, there might not anything to add at the specific moment, or it’ll take time to process. And to keep a convo alive, a lot depends on the modder’s capacity to encourage good critical comments, to reply and check for comments frequently, and the quality of the commenters. Actually I must thank you FCM for having created such a rigorous, living culture and standard of blog discussion, I learned a lot from observing the way you held the discussions on your blog and this is what made reading your blog so resourceful.

I think the issue is mainly that often, instead of one insight or comment sparking wildly to the next and the next as it may happen in real life or private conversations with radfems (or nuts) there’s more repetition or stagnation going on which drags the convo behind, slows it down, requires putting back on the line (not necessarily of the topic but on radfem basics or re-explaining what was already said) or putting extra effort in restimulating the convo, when this is rarely if ever necessary in private nutty convos. It’s not trolling, it’s different, but there’s some kind of lapse or gap. And i assume it can be explained by the fact we’re at different learning stages or thinking frameworks or whatever, and technology and language barriers don’t help. but i guess this job of restimulating, putting back on track, re-explaining is more of an educational job or “work” than the wild spinning with women of your choice in non-public spaces, which is pure joy.

which leads us back to the problem of male-made scarcity and technology problems (you can’t reproduce the flow of a convo in a blog discussion), and what price you want to pay to hold public blog discussions and produce radfem thought and make it available.

65. witchwind - August 22, 2013

sorry your posts + your discussion standards was what made your blog + the hub so resourceful / outstanding.

66. GallusMag - August 22, 2013

This is all extremely extremely upsetting. And all the “thanks, take care” people are really pissing me off.

67. GallusMag - August 22, 2013

If you ever want to talk privately you know where to reach me.

68. Sargasso Sea - August 22, 2013

Why would thanking and wishing FCM the best after she’s laid out clearly why she’s found the “end of the road” piss YOU off??

FCM - August 22, 2013

gallus probably comes the closest out of everyone to understanding what parts of this have been like from the perspective of a high-volume writer/modder. i would very much appreciate hearing more gallus, but if not thats ok. 🙂 thanks for commenting.

FCM - August 22, 2013

re synchronicities and knowing about them/each other after we leave here…how about things like the sensory experiments we talked about before? looking up at the night sky, smelling rocks, that kind of thing? again, it sounds NUTTY but the night sky hasnt changed much (well, except for pollution with light and particulates, but the structures/placement are basically the same) in millenia, if we look at it we know that other women are seeing the exact same thing we are seeing and have for a long time. free women, if there ever were any, saw this too. i was away from home once for longer than i wanted to be, and this was a connection i had to my home and my “people” and i still think about that when i see it. the same principle applies here i would think. anyway, *i* will be doing those kinds of things, so if you want to do them too, then we will all be doing them! we should probably be doing as much of this kind of thing as possible in fact. that realization/conversation was one of the best here IMO and it resonated with many of you (us) and theres probably a reason for that.

69. Sargasso Sea - August 22, 2013

Yes Gallus is certainly in an unique position to feel the strains of running/modding a high profile/traffic online space! And I do ask my question with the utmost sincerity because I really do want to *hear* what she has to say. Really🙂

70. GallusMag - August 22, 2013

FCM I think that would be a valuable conversation for us to have away from the eyes of men. It’s been quite a while since we talked – I will try you at your old email address? Or maybe you just very politely declined talking without actually saying it- haha I’m not quite sure. I have a lot to say if you want to hear it.

71. GallusMag - August 22, 2013

S4 – It’s because I think you are all ungrateful asses who should crawl miles across gravel on bloody knees begging her to stay and trouble-shooting ways to improve the cost/benefit ratio.

FCM - August 22, 2013

also, i must say i chuckled a bit at “let other women step into writing.” dont get me started on how IMPOSSIBLE a task this really is. just so everyone is clear, its practically impossible. i think we have figured out why that might be, and why its unlikely to change too. so…just be aware. srsly!

FCM - August 22, 2013

we just cross-posted gallus. 😀 you can use the “contact” form on femonade. thanks.

72. GallusMag - August 22, 2013

okay. x

FCM - August 22, 2013

and i dont think there is anything that can be done about it, thats the thing. packing this up really, really feels like the right thing to do. i am looking forward to it, but im leaving comments open for as long as people are ACTIVELY discussing bc i think its important. in fact, its all i ever wanted.

FCM - August 22, 2013

and as i said, i think the nuts dont comment much FOR A REASON. i think i understand the reason now, and that it applies to me too. theres really no point, radical feminism is just bullshit politicking, and there are better or certainly OTHER ways we can be spending our time. and anyway, the “work” was always inspired by the convos. no convos, no more work. thats all. this is a done deal.

IOW i think the nuts ONLY EVER contributed publically up to a certain point, and then either left or were thrown out. there are others out here, just not “here” and ima go find them. the nuts are in exile and so am i. and i am ok with that.

73. WordWoman - August 22, 2013

In the past hour I had a discussion with a woman I know and like, an acquaintance becoming a friend, really. We talked about synchronicity and knowing the right time to do something and just sensing when that time is. We considered examples large and small. This was on my mind because of this blog. We talked especially about a connection to place including trees, insects, animals, etc. in a place. Neither of us is “into” this kind of thing in a commercialized or guru way, it was just sensing something for ourselves. Then I came home and read this discussion and there was synchronicity.

For a while now I have read this blog and then gotten ready to comment but then hesitated and felt it was not the time to do that. I couldn’t say why. The discussions were great and high quality (with a few sour notes from commenters, but not many). There was one post that confused me greatly, though perhaps just overwork and undersleep so I could not comment, but should look back and see if I understand it now. Not sure what that was, though.

Perhaps it is arrogant to say, but if you do decide that it is right to blog or something again, I think that would also be in keeping with the spirit of what we are discussing. It is men’s way to take a stance and never budge from it. It might be a new cycle or a new form. Who knows what needs to happen in the future? There are some things women should never budge from, but they mostly involve dealing decisively with misogynist world, not the spiraling one. Does the spiraling mean that you will do the same thing but in a different form and/or at a higher level? (obv, I don’t mean higher in a hierarchical sense, even some spiritual hierarchy which Mary Daly clarified male). Perhaps this means with the weight of what has gone before included, a richer level. I do know that some people, including writers and bloggers and commenters on blogs stay with me internally. Not sure what else to say about that except it relates to synchronicity.

Years ago, I had a very trusted woman friend and we used to go to some special places in the wilder world and do something like chanting. It’s not a formal chanting at all but it is just finding the right place and then letting connection, feeling, sound arise up through the earth through the soles of our feet and giving voice to those sounds. Not like regular chanting or singing but something different. I’ve done this on my own, too, sometimes in my own house, somewhat different. It seems to be gynergy in some form. As I said, I don’t like formal rituals which often tap into trauma bonding. Or with large groups. This is different and I would not like it as a ritual, but rather just something to do when the time seemed right. I haven’t thought about it for a while, but am thinking of it now as a thing very different from male technology. Perhaps certain women will come to mind while doing this and it will involve synchronicity.

74. WordWoman - August 22, 2013

FCM, you said, “also, i must say i chuckled a bit at “let other women step into writing.” dont get me started on how IMPOSSIBLE a task this really is. just so everyone is clear, its practically impossible. i think we have figured out why that might be, and why its unlikely to change too. so…just be aware. srsly!”

I sometimes wondered if you were transmuting the tremendous “negative” energy from maleworld/screening comments/tech etc into truth(s) and you used the momentum to do what you did. Unique truths that arose uniquely and the convos were part of it. That would be very, very hard to do and also very draining. I was never sure how you managed. It was like some kind of miracle, really. Some kind of martial art in blogging/words.

This sounds pretty nutty, and maybe I’m wrong, but is how I saw/see it. Mainly I’m not the type of person who thinks about “energy” “auras” or anything like that since it’s often such bullshit. (Ugh, ugh, ugh perversions of something women naturally have into a male-guru trip).

It took me a long time to understand the convos and maybe I did not ever fully understand them.

75. Sargasso Sea - August 23, 2013

Thank you Gallus – now I can understand where you were coming from. But I do think that a lot of what has been happening here is to find ways of being and interacting which don’t involve (or revolve) too much harm reduction or reform of existing media, laws, etc.

Also, why would I want to bloody my knees to keep someone doing something that they feel they’re done with for now? To do so would be selfish – in the bad way – and not at all healthy for her. Guilt tripping is what comes to mind, frankly.😦

76. Sargasso Sea - August 23, 2013

“radical feminism is just bullshit politicking”

That’s what it really boils down to: a reduction of the basic, gut knowledge that we all have which is that men (their institutions et al) are bad for women. It is (more than) high time that women focus on themselves individually, selfishly – in the good way – and re-find their own universally given force.

It is pleasing to see so many here expressing that sentiment. Many thanks to all of you, too.

FCM - August 23, 2013

i shouldve said that after a certain point its just bullshit politicking. its very valuable as a way to order/organize your thoughts and a frame through which to analyze/understand the world, and a rigorous intellectual and ethical foundation (and confirmation of what we all already know, being prey animals and all as you say s4). but theres stuff there after that, and thats what we’ve all realized isnt it? and this is exactly why women MOVE ON from this, and why the public “movement” looks the way it does. the nuts leave.

77. WordWoman - August 23, 2013

FCM, you often talked about “coming to the end of our thoughts.” You did that and the convos did that. Certainly did that for me. About males/malesystem. It was, for many of us, a nice cool, refreshing sip of feminism on a hot day.”

But what new thoughts are there to explore? Not many can be discussed in unsuitable conditions, e.g., malesystem technology.

Mary Daly did this and got published, but she may have been seen initially as a fanciful writer and it slipped through the cracks of publishing and in a very different time. This is a new time and some of it may have slipped through the cracks of wordpress/internet.

78. GallusMag - August 23, 2013

Whatever you need to tell yourself S4. If you think sparking freedom-consciousness among women isn’t harm reducing then I don’t know what.

I don’t think allowing a woman -who burns with truth and a profound gift to convey that truth- to go silent without troubling the causes of the cost-benefit imbalance she cites is an act of kindness.

I’d say it’s time for us to seek any and all means to find a way to increase her benefit ratio so that she rests her head on a soft fluffy pillow of whatever the fuck a benefit ratio pillow is made of.

That’s what I intend to do. You wave bye-bye or whatever you want.

79. Sargasso Sea - August 23, 2013

Yes Gallus, we should all do whatever we want to do. You intend to do one thing and others will do another to make their “fluffy pillow”.

For some, that pillow is made of different stuff than yours. Is there any harm in that?

FCM - August 23, 2013

benefit ratio pillow! ❤❤

but honestly, i think you are expecting/hoping for the impossible here gallus. bc it would take the nuts commenting here, a LOT, to make any of this worth it for me or anyone, and NUTS DONT DO THAT. nuts leave, or are thrown out. i know this now.

to clarify the issues, theres a modding/energy suck problem, and theres also a problem of inspiration where i rely on the convos here to “produce” more work. even if someone took over all modding duties, the problem would not be solved. and it is IMPOSSIBLE to "get" anyone to do what they arent moved to do, including WRITING which "commenting" on blogs most certainly is. if ive learned anything from these group projects it has to be that, as well as knowing when to let go.

it means a lot to me that you appreciate my writing. thank you. 🙂

80. GallusMag - August 23, 2013

FCM I am writing an email to you – a long long email- that addresses many of these issues. Not with “solutions” but ideas, possibilities.

81. GallusMag - August 23, 2013

ENERGY SUCK!!!!!!!!! Yes!!! Horrifically long email coming to you. Probs tomorrow.

FCM - August 23, 2013

ok. 🙂

FCM - August 23, 2013

i have been hearing for awhile that “radfem” FB is completely toxic — trashing, high member turnover, figgy-pudding shit. so gross. i wouldnt blame anyone who wanted to leave that behind! there is very little radical WRITING going on online or anywhere, which is part of what we are discussing. there is plenty of “criticism” including the standard media criticisms which have been done literally to death (of us, this is mindnumbing, costly work) and of course the harshest criticisms may be reserved for THE NUTS! the couple of us who have been writing and our work, including ad hominems/trashing and shittalking and deliberate misunderstandings, gray-pudding holdovers and figgy bullshit. some people have built their entire careers on shittalking FCM on the internets! if this kind of “work” paid anything, these people might be grateful for the material and we could all be buddies behind the scenes like the male politickers are, but alas it doesnt and we arent. anyway, i wouldnt be surprised if there is a ripple-effect to closing down this blog and these convos. im just saying.

82. witchwind - August 23, 2013

yeah well facebook is where most if not all of the abusers and their enablers left to. I guess in terms of destructiveness it’s more efficient and there’s less blog maintenance work. Probably not a bad thing to leave them to facebook. wrt radical feminism being inherently figgish, well i think that just reflects a reality that anyone and everyone has reclaimed the word, especially the abuser and enabler lot, women with survival interest in refusing that certain truths be said. to me what counts is the content and substance, that is focus on our liberation, freedom from men / freedom with women and saying the truth about men and their violence. Call it nut or radish or radfem, it doesn’t change what it is and that you easily spot the difference when it’s not. Also to me radical feminism (or WL) has always meant a road to the beyond, there is no freedom if the beyond isn’t made and experienced now. Except that over time the beyond part grows and grows because that’s a natural process of exploring it every day.

83. witchwind - August 23, 2013

* i should say paradoxical survival interest because it’s in no woman’s interest to stay colonised by men

84. lizor - August 23, 2013

I have only come across this blog this week so I am very sorry to see you finishing up. However, your reasoning makes all kinds of sense. Thank you so much for all of this thankless work and thank you for leaving us this resource [lifeline!!!].

You make a difference.

85. Mary Sunshine - August 23, 2013

Cost / benefit analysis under ever-changing circumstances is the core principle of Female Survival. You are a femalesurvivalist.

May the winds of change sweep you ever higher in your flight.

♡( ^^)人(^^ ) ♡

86. WordWoman - August 23, 2013

FCM, you said ” and it is IMPOSSIBLE to “get” anyone to do what they arent moved to do, including WRITING which “commenting” on blogs most certainly is. if ive learned anything from these group projects it has to be that, as well as knowing when to let go.”

It may be more than not being moved. For me, there’s an instinct or a warning bell that goes off. It’s not about personal safety, but after considering it in light of the current discussion I think it’s really protectiveness toward women’s process. Women’s liberation process. Even that short bit I wrote earlier about some kind of “chanting” that happened long ago is something I hesitated to write on the internet. Women’s process distinct from patriarchy is not something to put forward in a public forum. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It just seems wrong. Also, it goes beyond words, though words may be part of it.

This blog has been convos that are very high level conscious-raising. It seemed to me consciousness raising where earlier feminists did not say a whole lot, though they pointed the way. Or at least there’s no history left of what they did.

And also consciousness raising about the current situation which is unique. With who know what the hell is behind some of the personas we see online. A few blogs ring very true, but some were apparently deceptive.

Do we still need this consciousness-raising about radfem and misogynist culture? I suspect I still will. Certainly I “need” this particular blog even if in archival form and the hub archives to refer other women to.

87. FCM - August 24, 2013

i will likely shut down comments tomorrow, so post em if you got em! thanks…

FCM - August 24, 2013

please enjoy some ruby!

FCM - August 24, 2013

and the creatures!

FCM - August 24, 2013

mazzy star

FCM - August 24, 2013

LOL

FCM - August 24, 2013

britney

FCM - August 24, 2013

MOAR REM

FCM - August 24, 2013

and on that note (those notes)……
❤ ❤ ❤ 😛 over and out.


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