On Gay Transmen July 8, 2012
Posted by FCM in feminisms, gender roles, health, PIV, pop culture, trans.Tags: gay transmen, trans
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anti-feminists frequently demand that radical feminists address the problem of transmen when we are addressing transgender — as if transmanism and transwomanism have very much to do with each other, even though they really dont. unsurprisingly, the transman “problem” — that is to say the concept of transmanism as well as the different problems that transgender is supposed to solve for individual FAABs — falls directly in line with addressing the problems of females as a sexual class, around the world. ie. we do address them, all the time. transmen’s problems line up with womens problems and would be solved if feminism succeeded — there would be no remaining problem that transitioning would solve. that means that for women, transitioning is a proposed solution for patriarchal problems only.
whereas transwomen’s “problems” would not be solved if feminism succeeded — that means transwomens problems are male problems, and do not implicate male power or womens oppression by men, which are the kinds of problems feminists are interested in solving. post-patriarchy, transwomen would definitely not be let into female-only space, for example. and insofar as transwomen depend on global female oppression to define and maintain their identities, and depend on subjugated females on which to model their feminine behaviors, and insofar as born-women not coddling transwomen is a “problem” for transwomen, transwomens problems will actually be made worse when and if patriarchy falls, because they would not be able to express their gender properly, the entire concept — or the parts of which are dependent on female oppression — having been abolished. and because NO ONE would put up with their shit.
honestly, how many women post-patriarchy would agree to nurse mewling, howling manbabies under any circumstance, particularly trying to do so while juggling six cans of mace and genuflecting before the mighty phallus? its exhausting, and not even the fun-fems, i daresay, would put one second or one ounce of their time or energy into that endeavor, suddenly finding themselves free to spend their time as they wished, and without the fear of male violence. i myself have already decided that if patriarchy falls, i plan to turn cartwheels down the street until my hands bleed, then sleep on the beach for a week while i decompress, and contemplate how im going to spend my days from that point forward. but i digress.
anyway, my initial point is that if your problems would be made worse — rather than solved — if patriarchy fell, you are a man.
moving on, to address the very pressing problem of “gay transmen” may i offer the following: PIV criticism. yes thats right, gay transmen — heterosexual fucking is, indeed, problematic for women — you are right about that. you absolutely arent imagining it.
just for fun — and everyone likes fun! — try this on, gay transmen, and see if any of it fits.
you hate how straight men fuck, but you still want to fuck men. right? welcome to female heterosexuality.
you hate how straight men use sex to terrorize their female-bodied partners by giving us pregnancy scares and having a deliberately contrarian libido which never, ever matches ours. perhaps, you resent how your mother and everyone always told you that “all men want is sex” but then once you started having it yourself, you realized that men really dont want to fuck that often — just enough to make you afraid you are pregnant every month, but never enough to give you any real pleasure. yes? welcome to female heterosexuality. thats pretty much the definition of it.
or, perhaps you, gay transmen, dont really want to fuck that often, but your male partner wants it all the time? welcome to female heterosexuality. (if not having intercourse that often is something that “gay transmen” even want, which i doubt — is it homophobic (or misandric) of me to observe thats not how gay male culture generally works, especially the part about trolling gay bars? oh well). seriously, im thinking these women want frequent intercourse, and they find heterosexual fucking seriously lacking in that regard, but what do i know, having been there and done that myself? its just a hunch.
at any rate, you want to fuck men, but you dont want all the baggage that comes with straight fucking, for females. i get it. but looking at the big picture (aka. context) reveals that thing you want is what all women want — to have our sexuality include sexual pleasure and to exclude reproductive pain. if you noticed that heterosexual fucking doesnt work like that, well, you arent alone. it doesnt make you a gay male though, sorry.
also, having intercourse for pleasures sake — considering the harm it does to female-bodied persons — is anti-feminist, and that cannot be remedied.
anyway, criticism of heterosexual fucking and the problems it presents for female-bodied persons is not new. radical feminists have been addressing this for decades, but the trans horde does not want transmen or anyone to know about that. in fact, transgender activism specifically demands that PIV-critical radical feminists be silenced, and their work erased from the face of the earth. it would behoove transmen — and all women — to consider why that is.
Enthusiastic Dissent February 6, 2012
Posted by FCM in health, PIV, rape.Tags: divorce, PIV, rape
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i recently had a woman in my life ask me for advice. she said that even though she told her husband she no longer wishes to have PIV, that he keeps bothering her about it, and even though her main reason for removing PIV from the table is menopause-related, in that PIV now causes her extreme pain and recurrent infections, he is getting increasingly and explicitly coercive. she specifically asked for a list of arguments she might be able to use when he comes after her again, and she plans to stockpile them, essentially, like ammo. if that doesnt give just the perfect mental picture, then i dont know what does.
so, heres what i said. keeping in mind that i know some of the details of her situation, and that this is a custom-tailored list, heres what i came up with:
you could tell him that you arent a blowup doll and suggest that he get one. or tell him you give him permission to get a girlfriend, and that you are sure there are plenty of young women that would love to have intercourse with him. NOT. or that no PIV is NOT a grounds for divorce in your state, so whats his point? he is not asserting a real right here, just an imagined one. [link to divorce law site]
as for his assertion that its your “right” as a woman to enthusiastically engage in PIV until you are 90, [HAHA!! HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO HER] tell him ok fine, its your RIGHT and you are choosing not to assert your right in this instance. ask him if “women” (women generally, including you) also have the right to refuse PIV, whether they are old or young? if so, why? if not, why not? do his daughters have this right? does his mother?
as for his being unable to get his head around “never having PIV again” tell him you dont control that, only he controls that. all you are saying is that hes never going to have PIV with YOU again, and thats bc you arent ever going to have PIV again with anyone and that part of your life is over, and you are ok with that.
insist that YOU have the right to anally penetrate him with a dildo of whatever size YOU choose, and you dont care if it hurts him bc its your (MADE UP) right to do so and you are asserting it. or, tell him that its your right to be married to a rich man and you are asserting that right, so he better start looking for a second job right away. tell him you are a gold digger and you are tired of GOING WITHOUT.
tell him that intercourse is a scam that only very young women buy into because they dont know any better, and you arent young anymore and neither is your vagina. tell him that yes, there are documented physical changes that occur with menopause.
heres a link: http://www.medicinenet.com/vaginal_dryness_and_vaginal_atrophy/article.htm
that article says that the PIV-related symptoms can be minor or severe. for minor symptoms, IF A WOMAN WANTS TO (which you dont) she can use a lube. but if they are severe, the only treatment is hormone replacement therapy that has side effects and potential complications, up to and including death. tell him that yours is severe, and you arent willing to take the risk OF DEATH in order to engage in PIV with him. if he is willing to die from it, suggest that he take his blowup doll onto the freeway and take his chances.
then after thinking about it for another hour, i sent this one, because her partner prides himself in being a terrific family man who loves his children more than anything in the entire world, allegedly including his daughters:
next time he brings this up, stop the conversation immediately, and tell him to call his daughters RIGHT NOW and tell them that they do not have the right to refuse intercourse with men. tell him to call his daughters RIGHT NOW and tell them that if a man does something to them that hurts, that they dont have the right to stop him, and tell them that if a man hurts them that they just need to let him keep hurting them. tell them they will probably get used to it over time. [THATS WHAT HE SAID TO HER, THAT THE REASON IT ‘HURTS’ HER IS BC THEY DONT DO IT ENOUGH, THEREFORE TO ALLEVIATE THE PAIN THEY SHOULD DO IT MORE].
if he says that its different bc you are married, then tell him that you are going to call his daughters and tell them that they should never get married and tell them why. then, tell him that the “right” to intercourse wasnt in your marriage vows. just like you having the “right” to be married to a millionaire wasnt in your vows, and perhaps you shouldve both considered that before you got married.
some of these are nuclear, all are eminently reasonable. thing is that i know none of them are going to work, if by “work” you mean they are actually going to convince a man, and get him to really, really feel it, that he doesnt deserve unfettered sexual access to a woman, and that its not, in fact, his god-given right as a man to have PIV on demand. dood actually told her that HE DESERVES BETTER. when the truth of the matter is that if he got what he deserved, he would have less than nothing, because thats what he deserves. and he sure as hell doesnt deserve her, and everything shes done for him over the years, and all the ways his life is better for being with her, because she takes excellent care of him and excellent care of everything.
if only men got what they deserved. if only. the world as we know it would be unrecognizable. and facing that beautiful new world, i think i’d turn cartwheels down the street until my hands bled, and then i’d wash the gravel out, and then….well, i think i would take a pillow and a blanket to the beach and sleep there for a week and think about what i would do with my life, because my work would be done. and i would be so happy about that. oh. my. god. the happy.
1984.3 (Viva la Manvolucion) January 23, 2012
Posted by FCM in books!, PIV, politics, pop culture, WTF?.Tags: george orwell
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part one of this series on orwell’s “1984” is here. part 2 is here.
this part was so orwellian i thought it deserved its own post. i actually wondered for a moment how smart orwell really was: was he so intelligent that he slipped this one by, leaving it up to his readers to notice (or not)? or was he just a common arrogant stooge, waxing poetic about his fantastical manvolution (dood-volution?) to other doods, the one that included putting girls and women in harms way by fucking them, and unabashed woman-hating misogyny stinking up every other page?
here is some of the dialog pillow-talk from one of orwells revolutionary PIV sessions. from chapter 2 part 7:
‘Has it ever occurred to you,’ he said, ‘that the best thing for us to do would be simply to walk out of here before it’s too late, and never see each other again?’
‘Yes, dear, it has occurred to me, several times. But I’m not going to do it, all the same.’
‘We’ve been lucky,’ he said ‘but it can’t last much longer. You’re young. You look normal and innocent. If you keep clear of people like me, you might stay alive for another fifty years.’
‘No. I’ve thought it all out. What you do, I’m going to do. And don’t be too downhearted. I’m rather good at staying alive.’
‘We may be together for another six months — a year — there’s no knowing. At the end we’re certain to be apart. Do you realize how utterly alone we shall be? When once they get hold of us there will be nothing, literally nothing, that either of us can do for the other. If I confess, they’ll shoot you, and if I refuse to confess, they’ll shoot you just the same. Nothing that I can do or say, or stop myself from saying, will put off your death for as much as five minutes. Neither of us will even know whether the other is alive or dead. We shall be utterly without power of any kind. The one thing that matters is that we shouldn’t betray one another, although even that can’t make the slightest difference.’
‘If you mean confessing,’ she said, ‘we shall do that, right enough. Everybody always confesses. You can’t help it. They torture you.’
‘I don’t mean confessing. Confession is not betrayal. What you say or do doesn’t matter: only feelings matter. If they could make me stop loving you — that would be the real betrayal.’
She thought it over. ‘They can’t do that,’ she said finally. ‘It’s the one thing they can’t do. They can make you say anything — anything — but they can’t make you believe it. They can’t get inside you.’
‘No,’ he said a little more hopefully, ‘no; that’s quite true. They can’t get inside you. If you can feel that staying human is worth while, even when it can’t have any result whatever, you’ve beaten them.’
He thought of the telescreen with its never-sleeping ear. They could spy upon you night and day, but if you kept your head you could still outwit them. With all their cleverness they had never mastered the secret of finding out what another human being was thinking. Perhaps that was less true when you were actually in their hands. One did not know what happened inside the Ministry of Love, but it was possible to guess: tortures, drugs, delicate instruments that registered your nervous reactions, gradual wearing-down by sleeplessness and solitude and persistent questioning. Facts, at any rate, could not be kept hidden. They could be tracked down by enquiry, they could be squeezed out of you by torture. But if the object was not to stay alive but to stay human, what difference did it ultimately make? They could not alter your feelings: for that matter you could not alter them yourself, even if you wanted to. They could lay bare in the utmost detail everything that you had done or said or thought; but the inner heart, whose workings were mysterious even to yourself, remained impregnable.
impregnable? really? impregnability as in-vulnerablity. impregnability as in-ability to be colonized, penetrated, taken by force. and its used this way post-coitally, to boot. one of them was surely still laying in a wet spot of sexual fluids, having had the revolutionary PIV, and this is how and where he uses this word. ugh.
for men, the word “impregnable” can and does mean only one thing, and thats the way orwell used it: being impenetrable, and secure. for women, it could mean *either* the thing orwell meant, *or* it could mean (essentially) the exact opposite. for women reading orwell, we have to read what he wrote in context, then adjust our perspective so that we are seeing orwells world through mens eyes. you know, the way it was intended. this is true with the entire book of course, but his use of “impregnable” this way really hammers that one home.
after all the work the radfems have been doing on impregnability-as-vulnerability and what that means, i was actually struck dumb by orwells use of this one word. i googled, having *my* perspective wrenched so violently from the one we have been cultivating here and across the radfem blogs this whole time. i had actually forgotten that the word could be used that way.
im·preg·na·ble 1
adj.
1. Impossible to capture or enter by force: an impregnable fortress.2. Difficult or impossible to attack, challenge, or refute with success: an impregnable argument.im·preg·na·ble 2
adj.
Capable of being impregnated.
its nice that the female-only identified use of the word is the second definition too, which makes it kind of wrong for us to use it that way. not wrong in the sense that its the wrong word, but we are *kind of* being tricky here, arent we, when we say it to mean one thing, when its most commonly used to mean the opposite. seriously, my head still hurts. im no language expert, and if im missing something here, im sure someone will tell me.
in the meantime, i plan to go back to reading the classics, and not wasting any more time on men, or male authors, even the allegedly “good” or revolutionary ones. or maybe especially not them.
and now, back to our regularly scheduled programming!