jump to navigation

Blogging at the end of the world. June 27, 2015

Posted by FCM in health, liberal dickwads, meta.
Tags: ,

they are actually trying to hypnotize us now.  and mom: your sugar-faced boy child is a monster.

in case anyone was wondering how my latest project is going, i can report the following: after seeking treatment and treating with medical cannabis for about the last 3 months, not only have i gotten much, much worse, but about 2.5 months into it i got both sick of being stoned all the time and tired of being a consumer.

to be clear, i now believe there is an anti-consumerist component to whatever the hell this thing is — i am sick and tired of being penetrated and pronged by men and maleness all the damn time including mens pollution and poison including frankenfoods, all mens consumer products including their drugs, and including their dope, and that includes their organic dope.  and specifically regarding their dope, it doesnt matter who grows it, or owns it, or dispenses it.  get it?  i now believe that everything on this planet is poison and it is all poison.  there is plenty of evidence that this is in fact true.

and as much as i had hoped otherwise, i dont think any aversion to being penetrated by mens filth and poison is anything “in my head” i can easily or even painfully get over — i think being penetrated for 40+ years by men and maleness (living as a female in patriarchy) has made me so sick that there is nothing that will save me now.  putting stuff in, at this point, can only be counted on to make things worse.

as far as pain relief, however, i can report that there is relief to be had in medical cannabis if you can stomach it; there is absolutely no debating that there is palliative care here for women, if they are able to access it.  understanding a few things about medical cannabis helps us understand what is there for us, and also pokes at why its been kept from women, specifically, for as long as it has, and why even current regulations on it look the way they do.  for example, higher body fat means you need more.  get it?  just speaking in generalities, this means that women will need more than men will to treat those diseases we share with men.  were the current regulations including therapeutic dosage and legal possession thresholds constructed with this in mind?  probably, considering that there is no differentiation between male and female patients for any reason including legal reasons.  it was all made for men.

nausea, of course, is the other rather glaring sex-based difference in patients seeking palliative care with medical cannabis.  how frequently would any male, as a member of the male sex class, be reasonably expected to suffer from nausea in their lifetime (and how many men are likely to never experience it?)  compare and contrast where some 70% of the worlds women are impregnated and give birth.  more than that are impregnated but do not carry to term.  every single one of them (us) is at risk for nausea including severe, debilitating nausea.  and cannabis is known to cure it without side effects to either the woman or the baby.  what an excellent reason to make it illegal for decades, and what an excellent reason to impose pro-male policies on even legalized medical cannabis today.  because women are suffering because of men and what men do to us.  because.  there may be actual causation there.  we need to consider this.  i am sure some of you already have.

but what i really wanted to say was this.  i am 1000 miles away from anyone and everyone i know, treating my chronic pain with medical cannabis.  and i really, really feel like i am doing the right thing, and its not just because i am sick and unlikely to be well again.  there are no bees anymore.  there are no butterflies anymore either.  im in big sky country now and i look at the stars through the branches of a dead tree.  there is a stump in the grass 10 feet away from it where another tree had obviously lived and died too.  it feels like the whole world is dying now.  deadening my pain here at the end of all things feels like the right thing to do, and it seems literally insane to me that not everyone is doing this.  of course i know not everyone can.

by the by, china is big enough in both land and people to take out the entire world, or to make the whole thing in their own image, or something, and “they” have created an ecological apocalypse for all of us to share.  i am assuming you all read this.  the beginning is the descriptive part, where 30 years of chinese (male) policy and practice of resource extraction and construction projects has literally and utterly destroyed china.  because of the pollution and loss of habitat from these necrophilic projects, chinese people are sick, really sick.  they are suffering and dying.  the last part is just nonsensical pro-patriarchal jibberish and fingerpointing as the western progressives and radicals try to pretend that it was capitalism and communism that did in china and us all, and not men, in the case of china including corrupt chinese males and western investors who also happen to sport/support dick (and necrophilia).

also, extreme weather sunk a chinese cruise ship.  this is after 2 full size commercial jets have gone missing in a similar part of the world, one of them after diverting to avoid extreme weather.

thing is, there is no “us” and “them” anymore.  savvy?  if people are not starting to understand that, then i seriously wonder whether they have thought any of this through.  query: what would widespread illness and palliative care happening against a backdrop of “business as usual” look like?  consider that you dont know how the person in the next car is feeling, or where they are going, or where they have been.  they might be feeling sick, or are medicating so they dont feel anything.  as time goes on, i would pretty much count on it.

these are just my observations of course, and i am but one person.  🙂  🙂  so hows things going where you are?  how are you feeling?  how are things looking?  im just asking.

PS.  if NTE were real, and the US supreme court justices (as members of the powers that be) knew it, what would they probably do wrt gay marriage and obamacare?  palliative care for all?  or stick in the knife further and twist it more?  methinks they want us all on dope, in one manner or another.  methinks they are smart, and calculating, to do what they did, ridiculous inflammatory dissents included.  enjoy your gay weddings and subsidized big pharma and unsubsidized medical cannabis yall.  i suppose youve earned it (some of you by aligning yourselves with the dangerous males SCOTUS itself has likely come to fear).

comments open.



1. Sargasso Sea - June 27, 2015

I’m just going to say right now that that commercial has got to be the worst thing I’ve ever seen.

The. Worst.

FCM - June 27, 2015

i do not think that is an exaggeration.

FCM - June 27, 2015

it was of course always the case that there was no “us” and no “them” when it comes to us all being in this together and many of us being ill. but there is evidence that “managing” chronic illness and pain is going to become widespread now because the environment has become so degraded. malaise and chronic disease and chronic pain will be the new normal if it isnt already. for many women this is all there ever was.

2. Liz - June 27, 2015

Don’t worry. Once the resources run out things will become achingly clear for the majority of females, who are all too happy to take dog treats in exchange for being treated like, well, a dog. The awareness isnt there “cuz everyone else is doing it!” plus its terribly embarrassing to realize what’s really going on. Plus sentimental memories and meaningless emotional attachments formed in early childhood to total garbage make it all too easy to escape into a sugar, food, and warmth filled cave of denial and ignorance.

FCM - June 27, 2015

i think the majority of females already know. it has been one of the worst mistakes of my life to “align myself” with the 1% of the female population of the world who doesnt get it. that would be the feminists.

FCM - June 27, 2015

i mean really. ask a chinese woman. the wealthy ones have been paying to deliver their babies in the US because what is known as china can no longer support human life. think about that.

3. Liz - June 27, 2015

Already know what? And only rich Chinese are able to do the baby thing.

FCM - June 27, 2015

stop wasting my time. reading comprehension. try it!

4. endlessleeper - June 28, 2015

thank fucking holy hell you’ve returned, however briefly. my entire facebook feed is rainbow pics and news about how gay mawwiage is so gewd and the typical critiques from the slightly more thinking people (that are just as fucking irritating and meaningless). i am not exaggerating in any way when i say seeing this is the highlight of my year (not a dig at you, but: this year is fucking horrible). it’s highly coincidental that “accidents” are happening in china where the us does a lot of its business and the planet is visibly becoming tainted and apolitical people including friends i’ve had for a decade are realizing the world is really wrong and suddenly, just by happenstance, yay gay mawiage!!1!! that’ll shut em up! straight gay and tranny alike can celebrate expensively before we all die because of men.
i can’t turn on my sound, but that commercial is visually hypnotic and weirdly porny. pedophilia at the end of the world? as if men wouldn’t do that. as if these conglomerates DON’T know they are poisoning the planet and therefore using even sicker distraction techniques, oops i mean advertising methods.
also: i’m feeling like total shit for the most part and thinking of moving, but the only places i want to go are around water, and when climate change destroys us all at once…well, that’s not too good of an idea is it. though considering i spent most of my time the past couple of months wanting to die by drowning, i guess it would be appropriate.
it’s also gloriously syn-crone-istic that you come back the day after i realized politics were pointless. i knew it but it suddenly clicked. whenever my friends have one of their rote discussions without me but in front of me about how “straight girls” are stupid or whatever, i’m not going to be quietly furious and feel left out and wish i were brave enough to interject and stand my ground. i will just walk the fuck away because i’m not part of it, and when does this advice NOT apply?

seriously, reading this made it easy for me to breathe, which doesn’t usually happen. new buildings EVERYWHERE, things getting rapidly worse for women, big splashy government-approved parties…does this look like an apocalypse film to anyone else?

FCM - June 28, 2015

i find being near water comforting as well. i remember cherry (?) one time telling us how all the nuke victims at hiroshima made their way to the river, not to the hospitals. makes perfect sense on many levels doesnt it. but yeah, there is the issue of sea level rise and flash flooding from torrential 100-year rains that are happening every day now. drowning doesnt seem like the worst thing that could happen, although in the throes of it who knows. at least its clean.

FCM - June 28, 2015

also, i am glad this post spoke to you endlesssleeper. thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

FCM - June 28, 2015

OBVIOUSLY people can google the bees and butterflies thing for themselves. this is a real thing and it is very very bad news and a bad sign.

endlessleeper - June 28, 2015

back at you fcm : ) good to see you again. may the end come peacefully for us all.

5. Mary Sunshine - June 28, 2015

❤ again. I'm doing my palliative care by the river, close to the ocean, in the most beautiful place on the planet. Just ordered a 3 month supply of food to be delivered, while the plastic numbers still work. Approaching escape velocity. Soaring back into the multiverse. Re-joining The Female.

6. cherryblossomlife - June 28, 2015

I had felt growing up that nature would support us and to be in nature would be life sustaining, because growing up in a rural area I had seen people use the land and hedgerows. But it seems that south east asia is perhaps beyond that. Although there are plenty of eco movements there, a lot of women figure that conforming and working for a company, and doing the hours the company requires and the male-pleasing behaviour that goes with that is a better survival strategy than nature. The shelves are filled with what can only be called “space food”, literally thousands of different supplements that perhaps might give us the nutrients we need because our food doesn’t contain enough.
I shied away from these lotions and potions when I lived there thinking that eating true food was better, but perhaps these south east Asian women are the “canaries in the coal mine”. Finally they have made it so that we literally cannot live anymore without being aligned to some corporation. If we can’t afford to buy these over-priced vitamins and supplements then no amount of (overpriced) tomatoes are going to help us keep our energy levels up. We need so much energy just to live day to day and do what is required of us. I am really wary of the fact that if my energy levels drop and I can’t keep working for whatever reason that will be really bad news for me and my children.

Ironically, it’s only by working like a robot that you can ever get enough money to spend a bit of time in nature.

Not sure how long I’ll last at this job, we’ll see.

I remember my sister in law giving me some bee larvae supplements with a big smile on her face. She was offering me an expensive gift. Bee larvae had been manufactured into supplements for those who could afford to buy them. I have no idea what nutrients they contained, but to be honest only a fool would turn down a gift like that from somebody like my sister in law who was literally obsessed with food and nutrition.

7. cherryblossomlife - June 28, 2015

By the “only a fool” comment, I meant to say that we naturally wouldn’t want to eat a supplement like that. It’s like people are scrabbling around for anything that will make them feel better physically, exactly like you’re saying.

FCM - June 28, 2015

as women become too ill and incapacitated to care for their charges, males will move in and make victims of us all. women have always been in this position of course. women have been the only thing keeping any of this together this whole time. it physically and psychically pains me to know that women are going to try to continue caretaking until they literally are physically unable to do it anymore, and what it is going to do to women when they realize this, but only after its too late, and after all their backup women (if they have any) are too sick to do it too. this is a fucking nightmare. everything we tried to avoid this entire time is happening.

FCM - June 28, 2015

older women may be in a better position than younger women since younger women have been eating GMO frankenfoods since 1996, and i have heard women talking about this. women in their 60s and 70s are gobsmacked that they are so much healthier than their grown but severely ill daughters who suffer largely from chronic pain and autoimmunue type disorders. these women are having to take care of grown children and grandchildren (and all the male grandchildren have autism). and i am sure the older ladies arent in perfect health themselves.

thanks for your spacefood comment cherry! my pet peeve as far as supplements go are probiotics and all manners of goops and poison to supposedly quell (mostly womens!) “tummy troubles.” but if women are actually suffering from radiation enteritis, or crohns disease caused by GMO frankenfoods for example, eating more GMO crap in the form of supplements can hardly be expected to work.

so tell us ladies. is the magical yogurt working? be honest.

FCM - June 28, 2015

just 3 months mary? is this a personal choice or will there not be a need?

FCM - June 28, 2015

there are definitely rumblings as to this fall being really really bad.

endlessleeper - June 28, 2015

mind if i ask for more details about the “rumblings”? the weather where i am is freaking me out. it wasn’t this bad last year, and it was really bad then.

FCM - June 28, 2015

well ive heard “ice free arctic” and financial collapse both coming in september. the weather is going to be predictably unpredictable now, i have not seen anyone hazard a guess as to what this is going to look like, or when. it does suck to be in texas right about now.

FCM - June 28, 2015

and california. and australia and north korea and china. the super rich are buying property and/or moving to new zealand or something, not sure the deets on that. as if its really a concern for anyone besides them.

endlessleeper - June 28, 2015

hmmm, yeah the financial collapse notion is really sticking out in my mind. i did some half-assed googling and could only find the religious nuts, but hey, conspiracy theorists have been proven right with frightening frequency over the past seven years. remember when it was a “laughable” idea that the government was watching us?
not calling anyone here a crackpot, of course–we aren’t insane enough to control the planet and kill it. also on the subject of male-caused illness, it’s pretty telling that even people who decry pointing out toxic food and chemicals cause serious diseases will readily support palliative care for said ill people (without even realizing they’re doing so!). even they know there’s no going back from this, nor is there any point in trying to make it better.

FCM - June 28, 2015

lol. “remember when” apocalypse now was a movie and not an accurate assessment of our global condition. remember when the images that we actually have coming out of china now, for real, were only fiction in mens post-apocalyptic movies which men made for male enjoyment. i remember. not everyone does.

FCM - June 28, 2015

also, the economy is tied to the environment and its carrying capacity and resources, including human resources. ice free arctic in september will affect the economy, how could it not? in one way or another. people have very weird ideas about “the economy” if they think otherwise.

endlessleeper - June 28, 2015

i’m quite a bit younger than you and i remember that, somewhat. this world has rapidly fallen to shit, and it will die while we watch–if we survive that long.
oh well, we’re here right now. thanks for opening up shop again. it really is a comfort.

FCM - June 28, 2015

it has always been a comfort to me that women find comfort here. men find this space incomprehensible, which they would, wouldnt they. female. comfort. does. not. compute. must. destroy.

FCM - June 28, 2015

rape, cheese, rape, duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. kill.

endlessleeper - June 28, 2015

the fact that we’re able to find comfort IN THE FACE OF TOTAL ANNIHILATION is stunning! men can’t find joy in pure, clean, vibrant, alive spaces. and we’re equal to them how exactly??? this is worse than science-fiction. at least in the handmaid’s tale some of them had food and shelter after the collapse.

FCM - June 28, 2015

^ the above internal dialog is present in all men all the time, i am waiting for someone to think this is mean to stupid men and violent retards or something. the most intelligent males also share this internal dialog with all other men. no matter what they are saying, this is always what they are thinking. we should have come to terms with that a long time ago. maybe we did.

endlessleeper - June 28, 2015

“violent retards” lmfaaaaoooooo. there used to be a developmentally delayed boy at my school who’d sexually harass/assault the female students. pretty much always the female ones. but he couldn’t help it, could he? nevermind the eye contact he made with every girl after he grabbed her ass.
and before anyone gets in a lather over my comment, i’ve been disabled for the worst part of my life, and teh disaybowed mens are your enemy just as much as the healthy ones.
“maybe we did” yeah, i think politics are just distraction tactics now, or they always were. cuz god knows shutting down women by accusing us of “ableism” benefits healthy doods. it is all bugfuck insane and surprisingly complex given how stupid men are.

8. wwomenwwarriors - June 28, 2015

Just yes to everything right now. I’m medicating on the same as I type this, so I cannot really construct my thoughts well. I find that all the complexities of the situation are easier to hold in one coherent matrix within my mind when I am under the influence of this drug. It goes beyond palliative care for me. It turns down my anxiety well enough that I can devote more CPU to my actual brain as I examine this shit. I intuit it more than I even mentally understand it, which makes me wonder a bit about women and the accusations that we are “intuitive” because what does that mean in this context?

Shit I lost half my comment. I’ll try to remember. You asked how death may be appearing in our necks of the woods. I had said that I’m from California, and we don’t drink the tap water there because there is medication in the water. It was tested a while back and they found prozac and antibiotics, among others, because so many people were flushing their meds that it had ended up in the drinking water. Then something about how the cemeteries in this city creep me out because of the way the city continues to grow around them like cancer because only in death does a woman get a plot of land that men won’t take away. We get a grave. The cemeteries cannot be moved, cannot move male corpses, and luckily we’re there too, so we get our little plot of land when they bury us beside the men who owned us in life. And then they leave us alone. I wanted to become a tree (it’s this new thing they have) but men are more likely to kill me if I’m a tree. Trees are alive. They kill everything that lives. But to be in a grave, dead and buried, is to be off their radar at last.

Sorry to be depressing. Suffice to say I’m sick of being penetrated by their shit as well

FCM - June 28, 2015

all the complexities of the situation are easier to hold in one coherent matrix within my mind when I am under the influence of this drug. It goes beyond palliative care for me. It turns down my anxiety well enough

THIS. i wont probably talk about it much, but i had this experience too. there is also something about ingesting only the female plants (they are the only beneficial ones) which likely holds some promise for women. the males are redundant and are not therapeutic (maybe not bad as a salad?)

FCM - June 28, 2015

nobody loves me. im all alone. its just me and my ganja. lolol

FCM - June 28, 2015

also, if you ever react to “ganja” in this manner, consider that what your dood friend gave you wasnt actually pot. if you are sure its pot, and just pot, back away from the sativa and pick up a nice indica strain. then chill the fuck out. jfc. thanks for nothing roseanne (the show, not the woman).

FCM - June 28, 2015

i cannot believe that roseanne barr starred in my generations “reefer madness.” i will blame joss whedon for that one and i have no idea whether he was involved or not. the fucker!

FCM - June 28, 2015

i would also like to take this opportunity to thank every woman who has ever said NO to men and maleness, particularly the lesbians, “even” the radical lesbians who hate het women, or what appears to het women as hatred but what seems to me is (largely) resource conservation where they keep their lesbian resources to themselves instead of giving it to het women who would only turn around and give everything they have over to men (or have men steal it). THANK YOU for doing that (and conserving lesbian resources). i am feeling immense gratitude to the women who have stemmed this horrible tide for as long as they did, and i am not talking about feminists but women-identified-women even the mean ones. thanks.

also, post comments if you have something to say. i will be exiting here shortly.

9. background spinner - June 29, 2015

I’m considering moving from Texas to Colorado. Any thoughts about that?
Obviously a good move to get out of Texas, but where to go to live out my time? I like the mountains.

And thanks for this post, FCM. It was an odd sort of treat, if you know what I mean. 🙂

May all women have peaceful journeys from this dimension.

FCM - June 29, 2015

yes, i know what you mean. 🙂 good to see you background spinner. i would say, if you are planning on moving to a place that has legal weed, you will not do better than colorado. they have been doing it the longest; they have medical and recreational products available in case you have a problem with the medical licensing part you can still get some recreational product while you are waiting; and you can also buy medical product literally the same day you arrive in colorado by seeing a doctor, filling out the application and getting proof of mailing and showing copies at the dispensaries. people may have other reasons for choosing another state for medical cannabis, but this is the most straightforward process i have seen. the “dont tread on me” marijuana republicans in the state of colorado have spoken, and they have decided to make it pretty freely available. wherever you go, be prepared to deal with the toaster strudel kid who seems to own every dispensary, and has no experience, talent or interest dealing with sick people.

definitely do NOT go to one of the states that have “approved” medical cannabis but havent actually made any available yet. IMO if it hasnt happened yet, its unlikely to ever get going.

FCM - June 29, 2015

last call yall. closing up here again if people are finished discussing.

FCM - June 29, 2015

thats it for me. i echo whats been said above, godspeed etc. be well everyone. ❤

Sorry comments are closed for this entry

%d bloggers like this: