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3 Women Show December 3, 2011

Posted by FCM in kids, PIV, rape, thats mean, thats random.
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the other day, i went to the movies with nigel.  we sat on the end of a row that was filled with 13-year old girls and three adult female chaperones that i saw, it was kind of dark and i actually think their group extended into the next row too.  so there were probably more adult women but i only saw three.  anyway, there were 2 empty seats on the end, and we were obviously about to take them: the three adult women looked at us as we were about to sit down.  nigel moved like he was going to go into the row and sit down first, next to the last girl, with me next to him on the end.  i could tell that the women did not like that, i could sense this easily, but even before i had consciously noted that, i had already decided that i would push past him and sat down next to the last girl, forcing him to sit on the end.  this was very fluid and nothing that wouldve been noticed by anyone observing, or even by nigel.  it really wasnt anything out of the ordinary at all, no more than breathing, really.  i had connected psychically with 3 women i didnt even know.

did i mention that im psychic?  cause i am.  i can also see the future, and alter the course of history: if nigel had sat down next to the girl on the end instead of me, i absolutely know that one of the women wouldve traded seats with the girl so no girl would be sitting next to an adult man in the dark for 2 hours in a crowded movie theater.

so anyway, the course of history having been altered, the women relaxed and stopped paying attention to us completely.  all women reading this anecdote know why.  the ones who dont want to believe it know why, the ones who love men know why, the ones who hate men know why.  the ones who hate me know why.  the readers who are men…well who knows what delusion they are privileged enough to live under.  women know the truth.  they can deny it at their peril, but thats not the same as not knowing it.

and as everyone who is being honest here knows, these 3 women did not want an adult man sitting next to one of the girls, because of what men are known to do to girls: men sexually abuse girls, and devastate girls and womens lives.  and men do this often.  this is obvious, its contextual, and its true.

the 3 women at the theater that day were not unusual women.  they were just women.  female-bodied persons.  with all the senses of human beings, and the memory of human beings too.  and the ability to cognate, synthesize, and make connections.  like all humans, and perhaps some other animals too although i dont know.  all women know this, all women have a shared, lived experience because they are female, they have these concerns and they maneuver and negotiate at all times so that they and the girls they are caring for can be as safe as possible from men because they know what men do.  this is womens reality.  all womens reality.

now, being your completely-usual woman, knowing what she knows and what all women know, i wouldnt be at all surprised if many or even most pregnant-women take a few moments to consider, once she realizes shes been impregnated and that the fetus is male, that this boy-fetus she is carrying is very likely to be the worst-possible thing to ever happen to another womans girl-fetus.  that this male child, even if he never abuses a person in his entire life, will end up ruining one woman or many womens lives by sticking his dick into them and wreaking havoc in their lives that will never compare to any other horror or any other trauma or any other tragedy: it will be greater, and more constant and worse, and it will never be remedied.  that this fetus will ruin womens lives, and thats a given, even if he doesnt do anything “wrong” because this is the paradigm under which we currently live, and thats the truth of it.

women know what we know.  women are watching and paying attention, and behaving in accordance with what they know, and altering the course of history one way or another, and this cannot be stopped.  like the women in the movie theater, they absolutely cannot be stopped.  they might nod and smile and pay lip service, but they will keep doing what they are doing and they will never stop doing it.  all women know what men do and what they are.  this gives me hope.

On Harm Reduction June 29, 2011

Posted by FCM in books!, health, PIV, pop culture, thats random.
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anyone of age in the 1980s probably remembers carole jacksons “color me beautiful” franchise that went viral before there was such a thing (and its still going!) where women were enlightened through personal color analysis how to best choose clothing, accessories and makeup color based on their own hair, skin and eye color.

arguably most useful for white women, the CMB color analysis reveals whether a woman is spring, summer, autumn or winter, and indeed once a woman figures out her proper colors she can actually “save money” by only buying things that will look good on her, and that she will want to wear until they fall apart (or until she changes size, or the item goes out of fashion, or whatever).  yes,  i did say saving-money-by-spending-it.  its consumerist okay?  and i say its “arguably” most useful for white women because apparently women of color can save-money-by-spending-it this way too, but are afforded somewhat more limited advice, frequently being the most flattered by a “winter” palette.  dont shoot the messenger ok?  we are talking harm reduction only.  this isnt rocket science, and its not radical.  its also not feminist, but thats obvious isnt it?  okay good.

now.  i am talking about “color me beautiful” because this shit actually works, to reduce harm.  it does.  (BTW i am a spring!)  when i go out into the patriarchal pornified rapefest i mean into the world, where i maintain a job and have to deal with pornsickened, objectifying assholes, rapists and handmaidens of the patriarchy all day, every day…i find that i can manipulate their perceptions of me, steer their emotional response to benefit myself, and make certain things (but not others) easier for myself, if i perform grooming and dressing rituals that are basically par for my sex.  (is it just me?  HA!  didnt think so).  but i refuse to pornify myself, and i have decided in the last year or so that i also dont want to spend either time or money doing this.  at least, i dont want to spend any more than a man would have to spend, to fulfill the requisite boo-hoo poor me i have to groom myself and wear work-clothes to work sex-appropriate rituals for men.  not because i think anything men do or dont do is the gold standard or anything…this is me, reducing the harm i incur daily, under the P, based on my sex.  saving money (or not spending it, and DEFINITELY not spending it on patriarchal beauty mandates) is harm reduction only.  and i want to reduce my harm, to whatever extent its within my own control to do so.

so, among other things, i cut my hair short…and i recently stopped wearing makeup.  yes, i said recently.  dont hate!  i have uneven skin tone mkay?  and i wasnt able to give it up until recently, with the help of “color me beautiful”.  YES!  if you wear the right colors, you dont need makeup!  especially if you phase out the face-paint over time, and didnt cake it on like a “femme transwoman” in the first place.  you see, a salmon, turquoise or teal shirt (“spring” good-colors) costs as much as an orange, a pale yellow or a white one (spring bad-colors!) and wearing good colors evens out your skin tone.  it does!  in my case, i usually wear neutrals, so i have realized that a cream, navy or dark-heather-gray (whatever-item) costs the same as a white, black, or brown of the same item…and its going to look better.  so good that i “look like” im wearing makeup, but im not!111!!!1 

yes thats right: im spending the same amount on clothing as i did previously (i personally enjoy thrift-stores and a good tailor if needed) and i am NOT spending ANYTHING on makeup.  (and i gave up accessories completely a year ago).  i hope to NOT-SPEND money on as many things as possible for as long as possible, and then stave-off rape and the sexual entitlement of men for as long as possible, in my old age.  and failing that, when the money and the security it buys runs out, i will probably kill myself.  (isnt that everyones retirement plan?)  but i digress.

so, back to harm reduction.  harm reduction isnt radical.  its just something we do, or dont do, to get ahead (or at least not to fall behind, or further behind) and to mitigate the damages we incur as female-bodied persons under patriarchy.  thats all.  generally, specific harm-reduction strategies work for some women, some of the time, and might be more or less available, more or less appealing, or more or less effective for different women, based on individual womens circumstances.  generally harm-reduction strategies also support the patriarchy in some way (rather than subverting it) which is why they arent radical.  kind of like…saving money.  this entails actually making some, and participating in capitalist (and abusive) hierarchies for example.

and also like…abortion.  okay?  abortion is not a radical solution to the harms women incur daily, as female-bodied persons under the P.  abortion is harm-reduction only, meaning that it can be less harmful than bringing a pregnancy to term for some women, some of the time.  and like all harm-reduction strategies, abortion will be more or less available, more or less appealing, and more or less effective for different women based on their unique situation.  what abortion will never do, because it cant, is save us from men, or from mens sexual entitlement, or from mens abuse (including rape) or from poverty or from anything, really.  only a radical solution could save us from any of that.  all abortion does is terminate an existing pregnancy.  thats all.

and thats important!  make no mistake.  it absolutely and significantly reduces harm, where women are subjected to PIV-centric sex when they do not wish to become pregnant; where they are raped and prostituted, and where men intentionally impregnate us to cause female-specific harm.  and where men have designed their legal, medical and religious machines to magnify the harms to women once they impregnate us, and once we have children too.  in this context, abortion is necessary, and there is no doubt about that.  we must have access to safe and legal abortion.  this will continue to be the case even after the revolution, because even wanted pregnancies are dangerous.  even wanted pregnancies can kill you.  and women will always need the option to say NO to a medical event that is specific only to us.

but, that said, abortion is not a radical solution to womens oppression, or an antidote to mens power over us.  and its not going to liberate us any more or any differently, really, than a flattering thriftstore wardrobe is going to liberate us from mens tyranny and oppression.  anyone can see that adhering to beauty mandates (even on the cheap) is just supporting the patriarchy and reifying male power in demonstrable ways; well, abortion is too.  thats what separates harm-reduction strategies from radical solutions.  in the case of abortion, it de-legitimizes womens legitimate complaints about unwanted and PIV-centric sexuality (because the only real harms of PIV are the ones men experience, aka. unwanted parenthood, and definitely NOT unwanted pregnancy, who cares about that?); and men and male institutions make TONS of money off of all medical procedures, including abortion.

harm-reduction strategies and radical solutions are not the same, and we need to keep them separate when thinking and writing about them, because there are meaningful differences there, and we cannot afford to forget what its going to take to get women liberated from men: the end of female-specific harms perpetrated on us, by men, and an antidote to male power.

You Go, Hillary: Handing a Pro-Life Congressman His Ass on International Reproductive Rights September 17, 2009

Posted by FCM in health, international, PIV, politics, race, rape.
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i was looking for video of the 2000 new york senate debate between hillary clinton and douchebag extraordinaire rick lazio…because of the similarities i saw between that and kanye west’s recent douchebaggery.  both men, it seems, believe that its acceptable male behavior to invade a woman’s space and act like an aggressive, entitled asshole. anyone remember that clinton/lazio debate? i will never forget it, but it seems like that video is nowhere to be found.  and i am not the first to have noticed.

what i did find was the above:  an excellent clip of hillary handing some pro-life congressman his ass at an april, 2009 congressional hearing addressing access to abortion and international reproductive rights. listen and see how strong, well-reasoned, and respectful she is. and she doesnt back down from her position even a teeny, tiny bit. a masterful response.

now, speaking of international reproductive rights:

this is a short clip from a PBS documentary about the “fistula foundation,” a charity that provides medical services to ethiopian women who suffer birth injuries…as long as the women can get to hospital in the capital city of addis ababa, on their own. 

turns out, malnourished 12-year old girls being married off, impregnated, and bringing their fetuses to term is bad for the girls’ health. who couldve guessed? specifically, their pelvises are too small for childbirth, and they labor for up to 10 days before expelling a dead fetus (or having it pulled or cut out)…but not before suffering permanent injuries called “fistulas.”  a fistula is a tear in — or death of — vaginal tissue that creates an opening between the vaginal wall and the bladder and/or rectum, causing urinary and/or fecal incontinence. these women are then ostracised from their families and communities for the stench, and largely unable to access medical care for their injuries. its heartbreaking, and infuriating, to watch, as these things often are.

here is the full-length documentary. please, please watch the entire thing if you can make the time. i promise you, its worth seeing. 


Don’t Blame Feminists for Your Misunderstanding of Roe vs. Wade: We Never Said Men Shouldn’t Have a Say in the Abortion Debate August 27, 2009

Posted by FCM in health, MRAs, politics.
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its a misunderstanding that many people make regarding the meaning of Roe and its progeny, and frankly I am getting tired of hearing about it.

the real reasons that spousal and parental-consent laws, without a work-around, are illegal are not to exclude concerned parents and male partners from the discussion. its really very simple.

in a good relationship, the spouse or parent will of course be consulted in the event of an unplanned pregnancy. that goes without saying, and theres no reason to state as much in our abortion laws. but very clearly, the matter needs to be addressed, as often as its being misunderstood: in a nutshell, abortion laws giving women the ultimate decision-making power are meant to protect women and girls in unhealthy relationships, where the spouse/parent would not have her best interests at heart.


“If You Can’t Afford Your Children, You Shouldn’t Have Them?” Racism, Sexism and Eugenics Inform Both Sides of the Abortion Debate August 26, 2009

Posted by FCM in health, kids, liberal dickwads, politics, race.
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Margaret Sanger

Margaret Sanger

Gotta Do More Than Drive Your GF’s to the Clinic, Guys.

the author of the book “Liberal Fascism,” an unabashedly conservative tome, (NY Times review here) describes a pattern and a history of liberal progressives in this country seeing abortion and birth control as a “solution” to the social problems of disease, poverty, and even “idiocy.”  despite the odiousness of the author’s apparent denial of his own party’s racist and sexist history, even the most ardent liberal must concede that at one point in american history, there were eugenicists who self-identified as progressives.  but do the eugenicists’ arguments continue on in modern progressive discourse, today?

in a word:  yes.  yes they do.